tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65821647082446715962024-03-04T23:55:47.066-05:00Boom Goes The DynamiteSometimes my brain cup suffers from overflow. The spillage winds up here.Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-66348980353154260142010-12-23T19:06:00.002-05:002010-12-24T10:18:44.074-05:00Season's Tweetings!<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Most people use Facebook. While I have an account, I don't exactly contribute. It seems that you can't make a joke on there without everyone taking it serious. It really only seems good for letting everyone know how fucked up their relationships are. I got no time for that nonsense.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Some folks use Myspace, but if you do, please exit this blog right now. You're obviously not over 18 and if you are, then you're likely a child predator.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Me? I'm a card-carrying member of the Twitterverse. If you're unfamiliar with Twitter (and if you are, shame on you, shortbus), it's about getting to the point. Everything you post must contain 140 or less characters. Wanna talk about a movie? 140 characters or less. Want to make a comment on the current state of politics in this country? 140 characters or less. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Want to talk about your shitty relationship? 140 characters or less...but no one gives a shit.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I use Twitter as a creative outlet. Whether it's a clever observation, witty joke, or even the most vile disgusting thing I can think of (and I can), I can post it on Twitter and not have to worry about being judged. Or at least knowing that I'll never meet most of the people that read my fucked up thoughts.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Since many of you don't use Twitter, I've decided to post a year's worth of tweets from yours truly. A "Best Of..." if you will. Be warned that this is particularly long (that's what she said), so you may want to bookmark the page for future viewing. I recommend printing it out so you can read it while pinching one off on the toilet.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>And now for the disclaimer: If you're easily offended, stop now. If you don't think jokes about minorities, gays, politicians, religion, celebrities, athletes, etc. are funny, stop now. If you find cursing distasteful, fucking stop now. Are you disgusted by frank sex talk? Then you're gonna hate hearing about the time I buttfucked frank, so stop now. If you read this entire blog, and then tell me you're offended, then you can go eat a bag of dicks cuz you shoulda stopped at some point in this disclaimer.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Are we good? Anyone left? Okay then, without further ado, I present my 2010 Twitter musings:</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Toby Keith Fun Fact 47: In the event of a water landing, his lips can be used as a flotation device<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Toby Keith Fun Fact 6: Instead of a blowdryer, he has trailer folk wave American flags at him until his hair dries.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you stick your cock in a cherry tomato, is it still considered a virgin?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What's the difference between virgin olive oil and extra-virgin olive oil? Has the extra-virgin never even been fingered?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Phil Mickelson plans to buy 105 Waffle Houses this week. Will rename it "Lefty's Heartburn and Ugly Waitresses with Smoker's Cough House" <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's a hot one in Orlando today. I felt creative so I wrote the first novel to appear on Twitter. You're reading it right now. The End.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Watching Dodgers. Vincente Padilla hasn't even thrown a pitch and his hair is soaked. The guy sweats like Rosie O'Donnell at a seafood buffet<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lotsa fireworks going off tonight, but they're nothing compared to the bombs that are bein dropped in the toilet by the Nathan's contestants<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Does anyone work harder than the plunger in Joey Chestnut's house? Cripes, I bet that guy can shit some logs. Big ol' 4 ft anaconda turds.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There's a Nascar driver named Almonddinger. Why is he not sponsored by Hostess?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">People think incest is disgusting. I think it's all relative.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Watched the movie "Knowing" Sunday night. As far-fetched as the premise is, the least believable thing is Nic Cage-astrophysicist #BadActor </span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> <i>I’ve only included this because it shows my disgust for Nic Cage hasn’t subsided…he’s FUCKING terrible<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Also watched Benjamin Button last night. With a 2hr 47 min running time, I thought it was 167 minutes too long.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Dunno what would be more boring: watching Benjamin Button or listening to Ben Stein narrate it as an audio book.</span></span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.25pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I’m watching America's Got Talent...turns out they don't<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.25pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Off to bed. I'm going to dream of a world where cats and dogs give each other high fours, water and oil mix, and farts smell like Obsession.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The worst thing about having sex with a Chinese girl is that you're horny an hour later.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My pet lobster won't share his toys. He’s so shellfish.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I bet Martha Stewart pees in the shower.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">@Tinaannb</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Will you dye your pubes blue so I can call your vag "smurf turf?" C'mon, you know you want me to smurf the smurf outta that smurf!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Just read the cast list of upcoming season of "Dancing with the Stars". Should be called "Dancing With The Who The Fuck Are These People?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Just finished eating a few clusters of snow crab legs. The smell of my fingers brings back memories of high school dating.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Just ate two Activia's for breakfast. Might be a good time to throw an extra roll of TP into the bathroom.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I made banana and peanut butter crepes for breakfast along with some bacon. That's why my wife gives me the special sex.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I bet crowded elevators smell different to midgets.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you jerk off while you have the swine flu, would that be considered "pulled pork"?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Chris Chelios is back in the NHL at 48. He's gonna need Viagra to get a high sticking call.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #oldassman</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dear Meredith Baxter, coming out of the closet now is pointless. I can't jerk off to the thought of a 62 year old rug muncher! Or can I?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one person enjoys it?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Man, Tiger Woods texts are graphic - "I wanna put my cock in your ass then shove it down your throat" - and that was to Arnold Palmer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Watching "White Christmas" for the first time. Pretty sure Bing Crosby putts from the rough.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I will no longer be telling racist jokes. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">American Idol is on tonight?! I can't wait...to not give a fuck.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Rihanna reminds me of Bridgette Nielsen in Rocky IV except that Bridgette wasn't getting punched by Chris Brown.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I like to listen to "Endless Love" while jerking off. Who says romance is dead?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Phil Harris is dead. I guess catching a stroke is deadlier than crab fishing so they should rename the show.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dunno why I always look at the tissue after I blow my nose. It's not like it's going to be jelly beans, always snot. Weird<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Chris Berman renews contract with ESPN. "Thank Goodness!", says absolutely no one.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #ESPNSucksAss</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Chris Berman's toupee has also received a multi-year contract. "Congrats!", said Stuart Scott's good eye.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #ESPNSucksAss</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm bored. I wish we had a theme park in Orlando.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thank you Kid Rock for telling me to drink responsibly. Let me return the favor by sharing with you the miracle that is shampoo.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So this guy comes into a bar...no, wait, it was a horse. So this guy comes into a horse...<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Drew Barrymore turns 35 today. I didn't know horses lived that long.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Groundhog Day" is on AGAIN...ironic.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Orca kills trainer. Investigators say it was a crime of splashin'.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Love how the old lady in front of me at the grocery was going through all her coins like she's gonna win some fuckin loose change award.</span></span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"How To Train Your Dragon" is also the title of my upcoming guide to proper masturbation technique. Different audience, methinks.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Chatroulette both intrigues and scares me. I could get lucky and find Jessica Alba, or it could be a grown man in a cat outfit jerking off.. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm at a rest stop outside of Tampa and am very disappointed in the lack of gay sex going on.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I know the job market is slim, but why become a suicide bomber? There's no room for advancement. Suckers. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I just picked a booger that looks like the Virgin Mary. There's already a bunch of old Hispanic ladies lined up in front of my house.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Well, it's been a lovely Earth Day. Too bad it was hijacked by those new hi-def pictures of the sun. The sun is a real asshole.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Nintendo is selling a Dark Wii. It's just like the original Wii except that it's entirely black and the controller is twice as long.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Big Ben, Lawrence Taylor, & Mike Tyson to star in detective reality show called "Roethlisberger & Associates: Private Eyes" or RAPE for short.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Am I the only guy out there that thinks the lead singer for "Train" likes to have a little doodoo on his wiener?</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #JustSayin</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So should I do some chores? Or just say fuck it and have a bloody mary? I hate these kinda choices.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In Arkansas, people think "relative humidity" is the term for the sweat created during sex.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The most environmentally-friendly show on TV is "Two and a Half Men". All of their jokes are recycled.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Why do people say something is "gay" instead of saying its stupid? That's just so fucking gay.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you're offended by masturbation, you need to get a grip.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I bet if you're an uncircumcised Jedi in the Star Wars universe, you get pretty tired of people saying "May the foreskin be with you"<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm burping up fish oil pills. Now I know what Rosie O'Donnell's breath must smell like.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Gary Coleman dies after a fall. "Whatchou talkin' bout, gravity?"<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Rue McClanahan died yesterday. Betty White continues to screen Death's phone calls.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The best thing about being married to a petite woman is that my weiner looks so big in her tiny hands.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I bet you can add 2-3 inches to your weiner if you stick it in a hornet's nest.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #RandomThought</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I married @Tinaannb</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">9 years ago today. I wonder if I can get her to tongue punch my fart box?</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #WhatTheHellIsWrongWithMe?</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Elena Kagan's wearing a bright blue pantsuit to her judicial confirmation. Now waiting for Oompa Loompa's to roll her into the juicing room.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Former Tennis star Jennifer Capriati hospitalized after overdosing on what I assume was chili cheese fries topped with gravy and porkchops.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #ThickGal</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Never ask an epileptic person "What's shakin?".<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Are rappers that lose weight, gain weight, lose weight, gain weight etc., known as yo-yo-yo dieters?</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">My Grandmother has a rotary cellphone.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #JustKiddingShesDead</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Glenn Beck's novel debuted at #1 on the NY Times list. Who knew he was so good at creating fiction? I mean, besides everyone with a brain.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Does attorney John Morgan handle the Pope's legal affairs? He always states he's "For the papal.".</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #Orlando #SouthernDrawl</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Attention please! Sugar-free candy sucks assballs. That is all.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">The lead singer from Train is so flaming that a fire marshall should be present when they perform.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #DropsInThePoopiter</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I think they named the band Train because the lead singer likes it in the caboose.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #HeySoulFister</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Train's big hit "Meet Virginia" was originally titled "Hate Vagina".</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #FACT #SheSucksACockADay #WaitThatsMeButAnyway</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">My lovely wife @Tinaannb</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">just ripped not one but two farts right next to me. Good LAWD!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Between California’s prop 8 and Discovery Channel programming, it's an awesome week...for gay sharks.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I'm not racist. Heck, I got a colored TV.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #TheSouth</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My brother's fiancé swears by the ShakeWeight. I can't wait til she accidentally rips his cock off.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Wedding over. Drinks consumed. Brother married. Holy shit, its 4am. Booger turds fart cock pussy face cum chugging road whore.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I apologize for last night's expletive laced tweet. I was drunk...and forgot to say shitballs cocksucker.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Northbound I-75 is more backed up than a gay man's rectum.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">The best part about playing poker with a leper is eventually they'll throw their hand in.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">For dinner tonight I ate tuna the way God intended...out of a foil packet.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #Starkist #WifeCantCook</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">iTunes just randomly followed Jack Johnson's "Drink The Water" with DMB's "Don't Drink The Water". I should just have vodka.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">People in this country have gotten so fat that it's just a matter of time before we have sit-down comedians.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #I'llBeHereAllWeek</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My wife asked for a cocktail so I braided my pubes<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Huge gas explosion outside of San Fran. Hope it doesn't involve a lighter, paper towel tube, and missing gerbil.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Winnie Cooper had a kid today, which reminded me that an item on my bucket list is to fuck her while Fred Savage narrates.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I love that Chris Berman does commercials for Weight Watchers and Applebee's, cuz nothing says healthy like a quesadilla burger.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Warner Brothers announces they're "going green". Big deal, they've been recycling movies for years.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Watching Minute To Win It. Not only do these look like stupid drinking games, but a fratboy douche with frosted tips hosts it.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #TVSucks</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Gatorade and vodka seems like the perfect drink for exercising your liver.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Watching The Office on TBS right now is the high point of my day. Except when I murdered that prostitute this morning.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lady Gaga has a new fragrance coming out? Does it smell like a tucked ballsack?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dear Airtran: Is it really that cost-effective to use a plane so small that I can taste my own balls?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I haven't been inside something this tight since my high school girlfriend.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #AirTran</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Midol should be the official sponsor of Airtran. 'Cuz this plane is fucking cramped.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">If a black cow and a white cow have a baby, would it be considered a moo-latto?</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #RacistAnimal</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Vanilla Ice has a home improvement show on DIY network this fall. I can't wait to hear Bob Vila's hip-hop album.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I know these bets have become tradition, but I think San Fran's mayor's wager of "free handjobs for everyone" is kinda creepy. #WorldSeries</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Tim Lincecum has been hit with more balls tonight than most guys on Castro St. Course, it IS just a Wednesday.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #WorldSeries</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Prez was following me on Twitter? Bet he got turned off by all the black jokes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I've been called a racist and homophobe via Twitter in the last 24 hrs. It's pretty insulting. Fucking blaggots.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NewWord #PatentPending</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Nice try, Wendy's, but I'm not coming there for a salad and baked potatoes. It's large fries and a Baconator cuz this is AMERICA!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The way Michigan's Denard Robinson plays football, it's just a matter of time before he starts a dog fighting ring.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Just flipped over and saw Ellen Degenere's on a commercial during Rachel Maddow's show. Now I picture them scissoring. Great.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Spoiler Alert: Chili makes you fart. Perhaps a few cold beers will stop this gas. Nope.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #ItsWorse</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dear Radio Stations: Summer's over. Please stop playing "California Gurlz." It fucking sucks. Sincerely, Everyone.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I was " Walking like an Egyptian" this morning, and @tinaannb told me to stop being "The Bojangles."</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #FAIL #NowIWantFriedChicken</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Being dyslexic would be pretty cool, cuz instead of going to church, you'd spend Sundays at the dog park.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;">#ThinkAboutIt<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I think the only reason the GOP is backing Chris Coons D-DEL is so FoxNews can talk about how the Republicans support Coons.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Ya know, it would be nice if every once in awhile, Apple asked me to download updates to iTunes, Safari, and MobileMe.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So LeBron James thinks people hate him because he's black? Nice try. People hate you because you're a fucking jagoff.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">There's more picks in the Seattle/St Louis game then you'll see at a Black Panthers meeting.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #Racist</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Turns out the NFL.com/Pink link has to do with breast cancer and is not in fact just pictures of Carson Palmer's vagina.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NFL</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Brett Favre sends texts, vmails, and pics of his weiner to a chick that's not his wife. Of course they get intercepted.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I wish I had some cash so I could buy gold and sell it for cash. #ImStupid</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Why is Nancy Grace angry all of the time? Is it because she's so fucking ugly?</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #RealLifeMissPiggy</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Not to be outdone by Apple/Beatles, Microsoft today announced that they'll offer the entire "The Monkees" catalog on Zune.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Saw an obese man sitting outside of Walmart eating an 8 piece box of fried chicken and drinking a 2 liter of Mountain Dew.#GodBlessAmerica</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Okay Peyton Manning, we get it, you can read defenses, but would it fucking kill ya to just walk up and snap the ball?</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #HumanRainDelay</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Jay Cutler just got sacked by his own offensive lineman. Dude's easier to hit than a Kardashian's poon.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NFL</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">The Saints defense is so bad that they're gonna bring in Michael Brown to coordinate it.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NFL #FEMA</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Is there a 5 second rule between a dog licking his dirty asshole and then my face?</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NotThatThatJustHappened</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><u><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i>My wife’s family came down for a visit over Thanksgiving:</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><u><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i><br />
</i></b></span></span></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My father-in-law really thinks that cheese pies are delicious. He says "cheese pies" because he can't pronounce quesadilla.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">"That girl from Dirty Dancing got some work on her chin and is gorgeous now." - @Tinaannb's fam. Chin? Really?#WhoNose</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">My Father-in-law just poured himself a glass of cabernet, didn't like it, so he added ice cubes and Kool-aid. He likes it now.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #FACT</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tried to explain Facebook vs Twitter to @</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;">Tinaannb</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;">'s fam tonight. Once you hear "the inter-what?", you know you're done.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">My In-laws favorite game: Let's all TALK REAL LOUD BECAUSE WE'RE ALL HARD OF HEARING BECAUSE WE ALL TALK REAL LOUD!</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #FML</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">My wife's parents just informed me they're buying a house near us. Well Merry Fucking Christmas to me, where's my vodka?</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #FML</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Father-in-law is pissed off that I don't have NFL Network, handed him my phone so he can watch via Verizon...drops my phone, blames me</span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">. <u>#FML</u></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><u><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></u></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My wife's aunt is trying to figure out Skype, just looked up, stared right in my eye and said "I'm stupid." My work is done here.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So @Tinaannb's family is Skyping with the fam back in Illinois and I'm the bad guy for pulling my cock out. Webcam, people, it's what I do.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I was able to get my entire fist in the turkey. It must have gone to Catholic school.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #Thanksgiving</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Today I am thankful for the guy that invented toilet paper, because I have the shits.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;">#Thanksgiving</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I'm thankful for vibrators. It frees up more time for me to watch football.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;">#Thanksgiving</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Ummm, why is there a big skinless cock and a bag of testicles in the cavity of this turkey?</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;">#Thanksgiving</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Having trouble finding a "turkey cock soup" recipe online. Thanks for nothing, Butterball.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;">#Thanksgiving</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">So there's a skinless cock and ballbag inside the turkey, and I rubbed butter on it's breasts. Pretty sure that's third base. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;">#Thanksgiving</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Carson Palmer would have been a great conquerer since he overthrows everything.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NFL</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #</span></span><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;">HistoryReference</span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Obama pardoned a turkey, which now opens the door for a terrorist turkey army. Nice going.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;">#Thanksgiving #FoxNews</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">My father-in-law is drinking a margarita. He is literally licking salt off of his hand before every sip.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #WTF</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><u><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">#Speechless</span></u></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;">#Thanksgiving</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My dog's name is Guinness, not Gingiss, @Tinaannb's dad. Though it would explain why so many high school kids call my dog before prom season.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I wish people would stop writing on my Facebook wall. That's MY fucking wall. MINE! Write on your own walls. Fucking assholes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sourdough pretzels are the greatest thing in the world, aside from the free handjobs my priest gave me as a boy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So I have my Skype account set up, pants around my ankles, and not one video call. Worst. CyberMonday. Ever.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So Cyber Monday has nothing to do with online sex? Talk about false advertising...<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Watching "Training Day" right now on HBO Signature. There should be an Oscar for hot women that go full frontal.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #EvaMendes</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's National Computer Security Day. Anyone know where I can buy a diaphragm for a USB port?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Eating spicy chili for 3 straight days was a horrible idea. It's as if Jackson Pollock painted the inside of my toilet.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">3 people were shot in a St. Louis funeral home today. Sure it's tragic, but also pretty darn convenient, am I right?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sorry Fleshlight, but I prefer more of a “hands on" approach to my masturbation.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dear Creedence Clearwater Revival: while you were looking out your back door, I came in through the front and stole all your shit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Chanukah starts today. I chope the Jews chave a chappy 8 days this choliday season.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A driver's license instructor got arrested for banging a teenage girl in exchange for a passing grade. Hope he didn't give her DMVD.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">So "push notifications" are NOT what ob-gyn's give women during pregnancy?</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #ComputerIlliterate</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I cut a hole in the mouth of the tiger on my box of Frosted Flakes. Then I used it to make my own milk.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #CerealRapist</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I don't fully understand politics, but do you still qualify for Bush tax cuts if you shave your pubes?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Ben Roethlisberger is 9 for 13 for 110 yards and a TD so far. Man, he is just RAPING this Miami defense.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NFL</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I thought the Octomom's vagina was a big hole until I watched the Tampa Bay rushing defense.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NFL</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Mike Shanahan is so dark that the Republicans are trying to deport him.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NFL #JerseyShore</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">When Jay Cutler retires from football, he's gonna make a fortune with his new bakery.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #Turnovers #NFL</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Mike Shanahan might be the only Redskin with actual red skin.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NFL</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">SeaWorld is laying off employees, though many are jumping through hoops to keep their jobs. </span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><u><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">#ThinkAboutIt</span></u></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><u><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></u></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I keep seeing signs around town for seasoned firewood, yet nobody carries lemon pepper. That's some bullshit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Gave my Father-in-law a check for $100 based on me underestimating the Chicago Bears. He doesn't like my signature, says it's inedible.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Anyone know if there's a "porn of the month" club? My pastor is so hard to shop for.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Eli Manning is just like Peyton Manning except exactly the opposite.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">If you aren't sure why we are still in Iraq you should watch some of this Army/ND game</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NoDefense</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If God really exists, wouldn't Notre Dame be undefeated every year?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Can't believe Wesley Snipes started his prison sentence yesterday and I haven't heard any "White Men Can't Hump" jokes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Ben Roethlisberger scores, and this time he didn't rape anyone.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">If I were an NBA referee, I would open a business that sells turkeys during the holidays and call it "Personal Fowls".</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;">#Thanksgiving</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Dan Dierdorf just said the boos are out in Giants Stadium, which is really racist</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #NFL</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Jay Cutler threw 4 TDs, Peyton Manning threw 4 interceptions. I am so fucking scared right now.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Santa Claus is to Kris Kringle what Andy Reid is to Krispy Kremegle. #SNF</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Probably a bad sign if your ob-gyn is wearing a shirt that says "We're not leavin' til we're beavin'".<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Nic Cage has a new movie coming out, which is great news for people that love terrible fucking films.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When you say "with all due respect", aren't you really just saying "fuck you"?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I am the Twitter of sex.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> #140PumpsOrLess</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Well, that's it, 12 months worth of being inside my head. Fucked up, huh? Welcome to my world. If you got a laugh out of it, forward it to your friends and follow me on Twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/Floridachad"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">http://twitter.com/Floridachad</span></a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">If you didn't laugh, then you really need to do some soul-searching, because you're obviously an asshole...and nobody likes you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-21710834952103503022010-09-29T10:52:00.000-04:002012-09-11T14:34:17.927-04:00Chad & Tina in Northern California (circa 2006)<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>It's been awhile since I've made a blog posting, though I do have a few uncompleted drafts laying around. I'm just really lazy. Tina stumbled upon this old one - the first I ever did - on her Mom's email account. Before this webpage, I used to send blogs like this in email form. We gave up looking for this one over a year ago (along with an old "Drinking Around The World at Epcot" one I wrote around the same time), but luckily, the search is over.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>There will be a new "Drinking Around The World" blog up in a few weeks, though, cuz we're going to the Epcot Beer & Wine Fest.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Day 1 (SF to Mountain View, 9/10/06):</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Arrived at San Fran airport around noon on Saturday, and shuttled over to Enterprise to pick up the car that we'd be driving for the next few days. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Since they didn't have the vehicle that we had already reserved (they know how to TAKE a reservation, but they don't know how to HOLD a reservation), they offered us this upgraded vehicle at a substantially reduced fee.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Yeah, that's the Mini Cooper convertible. I guess they thought I looked like a little bitch, but whatever, I took it anyways.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Tina and I headed down the coast to Mountain View where we would be seeing Dave Matthews Band at the Shoreline Amphitheatre that evening (It's my fifth DMB show this year, 29th overall; I may require an intervention). After checking into our hotel, we learned of an art and wine festival in town and spent our afternoon there visiting the multiple art booths while drinking numerous glasses of wine and eating some really terrible food.</span></div>
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Seriously, whoever came up with the idea for parmesan garlic fries can kiss my ass.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> With temperatures in the 80's all afternoon, I was expecting pleasant evening temperatures, but i was sadly mistaken. Even though Tina told me to dress warmly for a cold evening, I scoffed at the notion of wearing anything heavier than shorts and a tee to a concert where the temps would eventually fall to the 55 degree area. I am an idiot.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Luckily, as the show starts and the crowd starts singing and dancing, the temps seem to rise around me to a comfortable level. The show was great as usual (where else can you see people jumping around to a 5 minute fiddle solo?), and I was especially fond of the fat red-haired dude that kept running up and down the aisles playing air saxophone, air violin, air drums, etc. If that is your brain on drugs, then I might be interested in partaking of his herbal remedies, cuz that guy looked like he had more fun than of all of us. Well, it's off to bed, cuz we gotta drive up to Napa Valley tomorrow which is where we'll be spending the next 3 days of our vacation. G'night!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Days 2-4 (Napa - 9/11/06 - 9/13/06):</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> Absolutely beautiful. There's really no other way to describe it, well, there probably is, but I'm too lazy to use a thesaurus. Here's Tina and the Mini:<br />
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We spent our first two days in going up and down Napa Valley, sampling the various wines that the local vintners had to offer. We focused on the wineries we had never heard of, and steered clear of the big ones like Beringer, Sutter Home, Robert Mondavi, etc. We found a few wines we enjoyed like those from Mario Andretti's winery (seriously, Mario Andretti owns a winery)...</span></div>
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...and we found some that tasted like licking your armpit after working in 100 degree temps all day like V. Sattui and Francis Ford Coppola (I used to think that the movie "Jeepers Creepers" was the worst thing he's ever produced, but then I tasted his cabernet sauvignon).</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> And there was even a winery that capitalized on my family name:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> The winery that stood out was the Frank Family Winery. It was the best we'd tasted in our three days and was the only winery that we bought enough wine from that we had to have them ship it home. Here's the website for anyone that's interested: </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://www.frankfamilyvineyards.com./">www.frankfamilyvineyards.com.</a></span></div>
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We loved shuttling around from winery to winery, sipping on assorted wines and eating the occasional imported cheeses. As a matter of fact, after about the 8th winery, and the consumption of this much wine...<br />
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...I was so drunk that I talked to this guy for a good five minutes before I realized that he was a bronze statue and not a real grape picker like i was led to believe. I figured he was just ignoring me...and an asshole.<br />
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And how drunk was Tina, you ask?<br />
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She's pretending to work, isn't that adorable? This is actually the MOST physical labor that she's done in quite some time. You'll notice her left hand is hidden, and that's because it's on the statue's ass...she said he had "buns of steel".<br />
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We concluded our trip through the wine region with natural mineral spring spa treatments in Calistoga (North end of Napa Valley). Our 1 1/2 hr session started with a ten minute soak in a mud bath that was 140 DEGREES! (It's amazing how much the penis can retract on itself, much like a turtle.) </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">We entered a five minute mineral water shower, where we took turns trying to hose mud off of each others body (you think this would be kinda sexy, but you would be dead wrong). Then we spent another 15 minutes in an mineral water hot tub set at 104 degrees. As I was climbing in, Tina happily pointed out that I still had mud in my buttcrack (like I said, not sexy). </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> Once our hot tub soak was finished and my testicles had shriveled to the size of raisinets, we were ushered to a room where they wrapped us in towels and soaked our foreheads and necks with cold compresses. (At this point, I still can't believe that I'm paying these sadistic fuckers to "detoxify" me.) </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> Our final half hour is spent receiving a massage. I finally feel relaxed, my guy parts descend back to their proper perch, and somehow I manage not to fart. Never again.<br />
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Tomorrow we head back to San Francisco for the last three days of vacation. It's already going too fast. Gotta get some sleep.<br />
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G'night all!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Day 5 (San Fran - 9/14/06):</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After making the drive down to San Fran from Napa Valley, there were two things we wanted to do before we returned the car to the rental place. The first was to drive over the Golden Gate Bridge and take a spectacular photo of it.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> Unfortunately, it was foggier than Tina's recollection of all the nice things I've done for her.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> Our second task was to drive down San Fran's most crooked road, Lombard Street. It's a tad overrated, but fun just the same.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> Finally we checked into our residence for the next three days, the luxurious Hotel Nikko. I now believe that "nikko" is the Chinese word for "miniature".</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> After leaving our closet, I mean "room", we hopped on one of the world famous trolley cars and headed for the very touristy Pier 39, and that was where we saw The Rock.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> No, no, no, not that Rock. The other rock, Alcatraz.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> The prison cells are so small in Alcatraz that I'm surprised the Hotel Nikko hasn't tried to buy it.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> Over at Pier 39, there is a spot that wild sea lions come to relax.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> It's better than a zoo, cuz they come and go as they please and no one is allowed to feed them. Not only that, but they're just friggin adorable.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> Seeing the sea lions made us miss our little Guinness.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> We capped off the evening with dinner at some forgettable oceanfront restaurant, and a coupla beers at a downtown pub. Time for bed now, cuz we're going to a noon SF Giants baseball game tomorrow and they're playing the last place Rockies, so i figure if I get there early, the Rockies will let me play. Stay Tuned!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Day 6 (San Fran - 9/15/06):</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Started off this morning with some breakfast from Jack In The Box. If there is an unhealthier food option than this, I don't know of it.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <img height="400" src="http://edweb.tusd.k12.az.us/sped/images/reallifephotos/Jack%20in%20the%20Box.jpg" width="314" /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> With our stomachs full, we boarded a trolley car for the trip to the baseball game.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> The big food item at the ball game? Parmesan garlic fries. What is the deal is with this city and those (disgusting) garlic fries?! I was never very good at history, but I'm sure that at some point in time, San Francisco must have had a really bad vampire outbreak.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> From our seats in the right field bleachers, we had a nice view of the Bay Bridge, which crosses from San Fran to Oakland.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> If it's true what they say about the size of a man's hand as related to his penis, then you will know why Tina has such a big dreamy smile on her face.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> As I'm sure a few of you know, McCovey Bay is located directly behind the right field wall, and many fans gather there in various boats and kayaks to catch the home run balls that splash into the bay. These guys even go so far as to bring their grill along with them.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> After the game, we decided to walk up Telegraph Hill and possibly go atop Coit Tower, which offers panoramic views of the city. San Francisco is a very hilly city and alot of the roads are quite steep (5th grade Geography in the house). After we finally ascended Telegraph Hill, out of breath and dripping with sweat, we encountered this sign:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img height="300" src="http://www.edholden.com/images/photos/20050704-035%20-%20Coit%20Tower%20stair%20sign%20on%20Filbert%20Street,%20San%20Francisco.jpg" width="400" /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> You gotta be shittin' me! Oh, there were stairs, allright, and more stairs, and more friggin stairs! Just when I'm starting to feel the daggers that are shooting out of an exhausted Tina's eyes, we reach the base of Coit Tower, and board an elevator (yay!) to the top. However, after disembarking the elevator, we're instructed to follow a spiral staircase the rest of the way to the top. Seriously, the only way this could be more punishing is if upon reaching the top, you have to take a fucking mud bath! At least the views were quite nice.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> From there, we took the walk downhill to the Little Italy section of town and then checked out Chinatown. There are a lot of open air markets in Chinatown, and they hang alot of unrecognizable land and sea critters from hooks at these stores that I guess people eat. The smell is somewhere between rotting garbage and beer farts. Though we were pretty grossed out and borderline nauseous, we picked out a chinese restaurant where we enjoyed a good meal, with one exception...I had never seen an uncircumcised mushroom before...EVER.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Tomrrow is our last full day and it will be filled with lots of walking, so we're turning in. G'night.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Day 7 (San Fran - 9/16/06 - Final Day):</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This was the first day on our entire trip that we had nothing to do in the morning, so we finally got to sleep in. We were showered and out of the room by 11 am though, and enjoyed a breakfast/lunch of corned beef and cabbage at an irish restaurant around the corner from our hotel. Delicious!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Next we hopped the rail line west to Golden Gate Park. There's a ton to see here in this 5 block by 30 block park, but all we saw were homeless people...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">(At this point, I can feel a Dennis Miller-sized bitch coming on here, so I'm just gonna let it fly)</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Now I don't want to go off on a rant here... but San Francisco has a SERIOUS problem with homeless people. I've been to New York, Chicago, LA, Boston, Vegas, Miami, New Orleans (etc.) and this city has the worst problem of any I've visited, and it doesn't even matter what section of town you're in, cuz the homeless are there. If New York is the city that doesn't sleep, then San Fran is the city where people sleep everywhere. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There are so many people that are sleeping on concrete that you'd swear the sidewalks were built by Serta. It'd be nice if the powers that be in our country spent a little less time focusing on the well-being of people in foreign countries, and spent a little more time helping the displaced folks that wander our city streets, looking for a miracle. I can only hope that in my lifetime, our country will elect a leader that will give two shits about the itinerent members of American society, will tell the PACs to go fuck themselves, and will institute a Robin Hood type tax agenda - Steal from the rich, and give to the poor. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.</span></span></span></div>
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Sorry bout that, had to be done. Anyways, we left Golden Gate Park and headed East to the famous hippie capitol of North America.</div>
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I was really expecting a 60's tie-dyed, dope smoking, make love not war hippie vibe here. Instead, commercialization has reared her ugly head and spat out stores like "The Gap", "American Apparel", and stupid fucking shit like that. I wanted to see head shops and bead stores and girls that don't shave their pits. </div>
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From there we hiked to the top of Buena Vista Park (mountain), an exhausting uphill climb, but the payout was that we finally got to see the Golden Gate Bridge.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">(I can't emphasize enough how much respect I gained for Tina during this trip. We did a LOT of walking and a LOT of hiking and she powered through it like a champ. Kudos to her.)</span></span></span></div>
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After a brief rest atop Buena Vista, we descended to the Castro Street section of town. This neighborhood is the reason that San Fran gets the reputation for being a homosexual haven. And with businesses like this, i can see why:</div>
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Tina and I stopped in at the Moby Dick to have a drink. I was hoping to see the Ben Dover Ale, Butt Pirate Porter, maybe even Colon Reamer Light, but alas, all my stereotypical thinking led me astray. A gay bar is just like a straight bar; just as boring, and just as desperate. I love me some gay people.</div>
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After a beer at the Dick, We needed to head back to the hotel to change for dinner. Since it was our last night in town, we splurged and went to Morton's. I normally order a filet mignon when I eat steak, cuz though it's the smallest, it also tastes good as hell and is worth the couple extra bucks. Tonight, Tina ordered the filet, so I ordered the prime rib. Holy friggin crap! Look at the size of this beast!</div>
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That bitch was two inches thick! And the asparagus was as big around as my thumb. That being said, quantity is not the same a s quality. We've only been to a Morton's once before, and that was two years ago in New Orleans, so this was our second visit. After two visits, I can safely say that I've had better steaks with smaller portions for much more reasonable prices. Hell, the filet at Carrabba's tasted better than the one Tina ordered, and it's only $20 with salad and sides. With what we paid at Morton's, we could have had 440 Jack In The Box tacos. Though, 440 Jack tacos would prolly kill me. Tasty way to go, however.</div>
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After giving up about halfway through that prime rib, our dessert arrived at our table...lava chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream.</div>
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Quite delicious. We left the overhyped steakhouse and found a comedy club four blocks south. Some of the comics were funny, some were boring, and one was outstanding, but for only $10, seven comics, and three hours of standup, this was the best bargain we found the entire week. Our energy diminished by laughter, we ambled back to our hotel room. And then Tina started to dance...</div>
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I thought that was her "I wanna have sex, I'm gonna take my pants off" dance. It turns out it was the "I think I have to take a shit" dance. Yep. Damn you, steak place!!</div>
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So, as we pack our bags for our return flight tomorrow morning, I'd like to thank you all for the cool feedback you've been giving us on this trip. It was nice to share it with you. </div>
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Good night.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-72515373891077434092010-08-02T20:47:00.000-04:002010-08-02T20:47:49.372-04:00Another DMB weekend near the tip of America's wang<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Special Guest Blogger - Dr. Franklin McGigglepants, MD.</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As many of you will recall, I authored a wildly successful blog post last year about my adventures at the Dave Matthews Band concert weekend festivities in West Palm Beach: <a href="http://floridachad.blogspot.com/2009/08/monkey-see-monkey-do-yeah.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Monkey See, Monkey Do, YEAH!</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">. I have been asked by Chad to write another story about my DMB in WPB experiences at this past weekends' shows. In part because I'm a gifted writer, but mostly because Chad is a lazy piece of shit. But enough about that asshole, let's get to me:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Thursday, July 29 2010 -</span></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is the preparation day for the weekend trip down to West Palm Beach. Since I don't wear clothes, it takes no more than a few minutes to gather "the essentials", like concert tickets...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2CvCkgOacwREj1YsxEsoRNzhdI03tj5NgHEAFeewR2jDZjUkMtQL3247mu_u0IuEm8UF-qN3S1ajg7mTOkkmoPF54pAyO_OollS8fs0B8piDEVFWUqOJ3tSmFujuMcT37v2E4bL_J3Zc/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2CvCkgOacwREj1YsxEsoRNzhdI03tj5NgHEAFeewR2jDZjUkMtQL3247mu_u0IuEm8UF-qN3S1ajg7mTOkkmoPF54pAyO_OollS8fs0B8piDEVFWUqOJ3tSmFujuMcT37v2E4bL_J3Zc/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+002.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...vodka, margarita mix, vitamin B, and pain relievers:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf4UPyZkr382pNurjOEzqvH4-l7K1n3nsQ_bh0dwBo6pNde2pXIRu3n0Ip50yjUg2SS4km3v4HWFRtbyGvu453d-s-7XBejjcx4Q7JQiJi-WMZmab1YwSW-BjuEoElAbrIOFclU1NzQl8/s1600/P1000173.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf4UPyZkr382pNurjOEzqvH4-l7K1n3nsQ_bh0dwBo6pNde2pXIRu3n0Ip50yjUg2SS4km3v4HWFRtbyGvu453d-s-7XBejjcx4Q7JQiJi-WMZmab1YwSW-BjuEoElAbrIOFclU1NzQl8/s320/P1000173.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What has two opposable thumbs and plans on drinking all of his meals? THIS GUY! Speaking of which, I better at least get some food in me tonight. Chad made us all bacon mushroom cheddar burgers on the grill. He mixes breakfast sausage into the ground beef before cooking because it adds extra flavor, and apparently he thinks sweating grease is sexy.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMSWKWzoYie6MvYyoaplfdIOd-xgSjru5qPtxcz2-fgMnWrs-sgOY-nMHr810p7Y1bwN3frkIwztqB6XuM7ZKqnDcoHwX3Dr0CjWQCsQoU9K8ZDEfHrfiiMeJ3vm1sUoSO61cMuT2kUHE/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMSWKWzoYie6MvYyoaplfdIOd-xgSjru5qPtxcz2-fgMnWrs-sgOY-nMHr810p7Y1bwN3frkIwztqB6XuM7ZKqnDcoHwX3Dr0CjWQCsQoU9K8ZDEfHrfiiMeJ3vm1sUoSO61cMuT2kUHE/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+001.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I spend one more night at home in my bedroom hanging out with my buddies before turning in for the evening.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgsKc68yQOqaL89y5nAJiCD5LecF8KvVCpaOBv1i9e1HPLCGtxvquGwOYY5pDGd9c_aDB0pVtWYl7Yp7MfufFvm_4kNUKZpQoksOXbUF9pzwdIaQrVSR8DQEqYd90FoNNoV6V7UHLtS5c/s1600/2010+-+DMB+West+Palm+003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgsKc68yQOqaL89y5nAJiCD5LecF8KvVCpaOBv1i9e1HPLCGtxvquGwOYY5pDGd9c_aDB0pVtWYl7Yp7MfufFvm_4kNUKZpQoksOXbUF9pzwdIaQrVSR8DQEqYd90FoNNoV6V7UHLtS5c/s320/2010+-+DMB+West+Palm+003.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Friday, July 30th -</span></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Like last year, I navigated for the three hour drive. It normally only takes two and a half hours, but Tina has the bladder of an infant and required three piss breaks.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjVtF9BqYmJLBjeoA7pKLBplOmdAGsgJMVKiaJy2NvI3jrljJvqtMsPqybZRqVJiUp8b15axiOdYtK9cWAuaC8DsHLE2Gipr83JRVR3L4AGqfJueNZVYEQGHxrAzPgqrbcQoalKVJjBhA/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjVtF9BqYmJLBjeoA7pKLBplOmdAGsgJMVKiaJy2NvI3jrljJvqtMsPqybZRqVJiUp8b15axiOdYtK9cWAuaC8DsHLE2Gipr83JRVR3L4AGqfJueNZVYEQGHxrAzPgqrbcQoalKVJjBhA/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+004.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Before checking in at the PGA Resort, we headed over to MacArthur State Park Beach in North Palm Beach for an hour and a half of ocean fun. We parked and had to walk along a small wooded trail where we saw these lovely guys:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpej6jrCrQ4mZ77NkfF1iPeMt7SV2GvBHh0mi28_dtsQdEUJFGjdvOvR50gKL0-JjT0VSqaRZYMEOstIYmMPdlY9L-PlYm6xW7zPAMgokVwJzk_EM5FRw5ju5RiEFIojhhVg_BCpnN39Q/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpej6jrCrQ4mZ77NkfF1iPeMt7SV2GvBHh0mi28_dtsQdEUJFGjdvOvR50gKL0-JjT0VSqaRZYMEOstIYmMPdlY9L-PlYm6xW7zPAMgokVwJzk_EM5FRw5ju5RiEFIojhhVg_BCpnN39Q/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+005.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm from the jungle, and even I got a bit creeped out. Nevertheless, we marched on til we got to the sandy shore.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxGF1MxM22mr-JDyUAYxhvJ8RHIK5buZWdT5syw7XN1gCseHJaSnS_GdRL5OdnZin1VAyEYxdKm-SAlFD-cYJ0s9vNmj-8qZCTkLqeSLr000EgqTCVs5IvkFp8YsymHEuIPNFCZPVvPxE/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxGF1MxM22mr-JDyUAYxhvJ8RHIK5buZWdT5syw7XN1gCseHJaSnS_GdRL5OdnZin1VAyEYxdKm-SAlFD-cYJ0s9vNmj-8qZCTkLqeSLr000EgqTCVs5IvkFp8YsymHEuIPNFCZPVvPxE/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+007.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here we see Tina with Chad's cousin Mike, and Mike's wife Michelle. They came down from Chicago because they've heard that the WPB concerts are legen- wait for it -dary.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCO-Q5x2mELber3By9e6v8kOq4MFu-bXrdISScKyGHnU_2EZJzRyYj6r7aqXel-rtSwngkThTLzhWqgY3REVaESZ90bzYfRAbLPvUihJXfSU1UnjtLRf3F3LNkC8eHA0V3XaiqPr-uDDo/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCO-Q5x2mELber3By9e6v8kOq4MFu-bXrdISScKyGHnU_2EZJzRyYj6r7aqXel-rtSwngkThTLzhWqgY3REVaESZ90bzYfRAbLPvUihJXfSU1UnjtLRf3F3LNkC8eHA0V3XaiqPr-uDDo/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+008.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The water was exceptionally warm, especially near Tina. Man, she has a small bladder.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was going to go in, but salt water makes me smell bad...and because I have crabs:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFpFVm7VyKXm0o7OhlXZmA1ZEuwbzPubcjd1EU9Ojbrz_HlRHDpOeH8qZxL6BEvCAKLn-UYF16g8Z3T7WXbVpa_SCWtxSRrjdusYUuEZaLZn104fKy0GE1WMbkAs9OVHlvgw4cKG2KEcg/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFpFVm7VyKXm0o7OhlXZmA1ZEuwbzPubcjd1EU9Ojbrz_HlRHDpOeH8qZxL6BEvCAKLn-UYF16g8Z3T7WXbVpa_SCWtxSRrjdusYUuEZaLZn104fKy0GE1WMbkAs9OVHlvgw4cKG2KEcg/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+009.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We left the beach and checked in at the PGA Resort. After dumping our stuff in the room, we went to the pool for some more sunshine. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw12XBXZniAcIyXKtQNGZlB8bqIq0WnYt4YG1buev2yqTuqIlh2YcMrKAH13-VYb1wEoL2J9DKN0kfRTnMDTAps_ASPtLH11QD7EOOxob3j_z7VJTFsrbS3AWXijvQW4yn4iHQm2wf7lU/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+011.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw12XBXZniAcIyXKtQNGZlB8bqIq0WnYt4YG1buev2yqTuqIlh2YcMrKAH13-VYb1wEoL2J9DKN0kfRTnMDTAps_ASPtLH11QD7EOOxob3j_z7VJTFsrbS3AWXijvQW4yn4iHQm2wf7lU/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+011.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After getting in about 6 laps in the pool, and by laps I mean "vodka/lemonade's", I dried off on Chad's shirt:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU1rV0SzAGRngHnzZL_xi-Wu7rt0nqhTxVHoy3L2QUXz4IINlOBzi56-9QIJIdz92cejgR13oK8c0n6EilBtDHfqiElYuRy7ysic3WSN8Mn3hR4tqcysppaFt7KMjXyPEqZK4FF_O2H_k/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+010.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU1rV0SzAGRngHnzZL_xi-Wu7rt0nqhTxVHoy3L2QUXz4IINlOBzi56-9QIJIdz92cejgR13oK8c0n6EilBtDHfqiElYuRy7ysic3WSN8Mn3hR4tqcysppaFt7KMjXyPEqZK4FF_O2H_k/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+010.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Modesty is soooo overrated.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I ran into a girl by the pool wearing extremely tiny bikini bottoms. The terms "moose knuckle" and "camel toe" come to mind, but are such sophmoric phrases, especially for a doctor. Let's just say I gave her an official diagnosis of Ninja Foot.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">All five of us showered up (not together), and made our way down to the Cruzan Amphitheatre where we enjoyed a couple beers in the parking lot. Chad's wearing what is known as the "Antswolf" tee from Antsmarching.org. I'm not going to say it's the most powerful shirt in the world, but it gets him Chick-Fil-A on Sundays.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC7eE_KC2lxk0CVYtp5DNGd6YfcGtARhHnhA92vWQxn-4wk_NQh6W6PYjsXD0qre_31HPucmygdKhkuEoC1-c6UurHBo67XkIReyZISZSxV1a6owXs6-pNhjf6DOloxy2SB0obsuclfyY/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC7eE_KC2lxk0CVYtp5DNGd6YfcGtARhHnhA92vWQxn-4wk_NQh6W6PYjsXD0qre_31HPucmygdKhkuEoC1-c6UurHBo67XkIReyZISZSxV1a6owXs6-pNhjf6DOloxy2SB0obsuclfyY/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+013.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Just like last year, everyone wanted a picture with me:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4j7-FHPQYBtnWkYb586NaMM_TL7E8EJ1RnaUAhQTUIelIxNWzMImTpPFpIlO132Dg2zJ-KNyvF_vEKQPs0d5Z74yjSVp1M4T9vjQiWkFOcPXtU2eLIvPQVJuKAwOqqwpPvTI4X1sv2vo/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4j7-FHPQYBtnWkYb586NaMM_TL7E8EJ1RnaUAhQTUIelIxNWzMImTpPFpIlO132Dg2zJ-KNyvF_vEKQPs0d5Z74yjSVp1M4T9vjQiWkFOcPXtU2eLIvPQVJuKAwOqqwpPvTI4X1sv2vo/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+014.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6jyq9dVA0IJPXSm_kKJBQyZ4UiX1qsAhlz7jAh8tn_vuDTwZ7_1Oao2UV3YIEc1KCnPmdfNjMLybz7ayRxmDIKOJQ_d24gIRQ_9c_CAvuz_aXeQosLpM5EFSy36ZmS4xbK9YDh-zniHw/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6jyq9dVA0IJPXSm_kKJBQyZ4UiX1qsAhlz7jAh8tn_vuDTwZ7_1Oao2UV3YIEc1KCnPmdfNjMLybz7ayRxmDIKOJQ_d24gIRQ_9c_CAvuz_aXeQosLpM5EFSy36ZmS4xbK9YDh-zniHw/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+015.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Mike and Michelle are enjoying $10 beer night...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuRwJkflq8goBaW4qGPn7KEm72oW3JtDHYbSEb1qeyK9gGNEVNEQw49qMkNBW9Q79jOVXunIBCHO6LL2DbbSUcLfsIUcMSLWjChh0nXKjc3jbOTc8QifLwKK_UFhQKUVIZkMew1PwUZPY/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuRwJkflq8goBaW4qGPn7KEm72oW3JtDHYbSEb1qeyK9gGNEVNEQw49qMkNBW9Q79jOVXunIBCHO6LL2DbbSUcLfsIUcMSLWjChh0nXKjc3jbOTc8QifLwKK_UFhQKUVIZkMew1PwUZPY/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+016.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and I sit atop Tina's melon while Chad begins sweating out that burger from last night. Smooth move Ex-lax.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqAufs2f7sER3TkFdTOEytBoqUfMKrq3mBmw8VI67GXealPWTH-m1cyRPxH2K0bDn-7LxlcGXSldiJBmvypyEjyGZcPZxsIZn9auqZzq0TKqWW6lBB1NgzXE1AyPn4mXbg28EiGsQRs-0/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+017.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqAufs2f7sER3TkFdTOEytBoqUfMKrq3mBmw8VI67GXealPWTH-m1cyRPxH2K0bDn-7LxlcGXSldiJBmvypyEjyGZcPZxsIZn9auqZzq0TKqWW6lBB1NgzXE1AyPn4mXbg28EiGsQRs-0/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+017.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The folks behind us were big fans of me...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-TjKT8zteVE1IE0xWI5yh1b_gjbvcHhpXhQ-FmNcd20EaDrJOFhEmgl43zUyXSnn6mrgfsKsuGMbtUzHMURheUOERlvv90lJsEEBVdqqJrq_D-KjaIjsKxxRlOp9KU7Bw3EYjCMtoC_c/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+019.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-TjKT8zteVE1IE0xWI5yh1b_gjbvcHhpXhQ-FmNcd20EaDrJOFhEmgl43zUyXSnn6mrgfsKsuGMbtUzHMURheUOERlvv90lJsEEBVdqqJrq_D-KjaIjsKxxRlOp9KU7Bw3EYjCMtoC_c/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+019.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...as was the girl next to me, though her man sneakily threw up rabbit ears behind my head. He's lucky I'm not a silverback or I woulda slapped the taste outta his mouth.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgedbqBxkhnqs2M7udWFjCUOezUNKomBfgxEFyDkptcctxBCd-Ze9cQTeGrWha18LP2gPA5A0kGXgXodsA0A-GALuNBKXGqeQbV3TzB-x0w8kcoOUgUsM5CXyenHwJoEyBVJlaojvrjanI/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+020.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgedbqBxkhnqs2M7udWFjCUOezUNKomBfgxEFyDkptcctxBCd-Ze9cQTeGrWha18LP2gPA5A0kGXgXodsA0A-GALuNBKXGqeQbV3TzB-x0w8kcoOUgUsM5CXyenHwJoEyBVJlaojvrjanI/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+020.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The band was in fine form tonight.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkOMXK1BQQw6fdGsZcXVZubMwRFKByZHj7S_ADoFf-nN3VLItnWXz_degdU-X-xbjmlpUlRdR2kdQ03tDJprHlAQsggjzfjhZWBeVjwqH6ulEd0CNlKgHa0Z-hqJMjZsznj-bvOMp5mnQ/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+024.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkOMXK1BQQw6fdGsZcXVZubMwRFKByZHj7S_ADoFf-nN3VLItnWXz_degdU-X-xbjmlpUlRdR2kdQ03tDJprHlAQsggjzfjhZWBeVjwqH6ulEd0CNlKgHa0Z-hqJMjZsznj-bvOMp5mnQ/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+024.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">About mid-set, they broke into "Shake Me Like A Monkey" and the girl behind us did exactly that. I'm pretty sure I coulda tapped that.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRW6svf544tz6wOzaG_eHaCs20qai9-Ckkt-VYMqmter4OHLt8UcYiWy35q9_3pg1RqlckD2pH2ZZXlWYm2E0kf8GlzQS2DnO9omePhEr6fIKzz19lbdwQEXhYIksYQ6_d5yG57Q1Qsbg/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+023.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRW6svf544tz6wOzaG_eHaCs20qai9-Ckkt-VYMqmter4OHLt8UcYiWy35q9_3pg1RqlckD2pH2ZZXlWYm2E0kf8GlzQS2DnO9omePhEr6fIKzz19lbdwQEXhYIksYQ6_d5yG57Q1Qsbg/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+023.JPG" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I told Michelle I threw my back out after that shaking, so she offered to let me relax on her pillows. Made me keep my hands above the covers, though.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7nfL13RxBvWfl586aCeiG83FtaoQlfCX8RH-cgkT1V-yKz3CfMS2YExXUCyjg9ObnkhCyRvC5_vrrGVVdU1b8fP7zyec_oKeWD5uQ-6AZBqqOR_JUEO8yLNOsFxNjrY0gn-3sy4Jo6jE/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+030.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7nfL13RxBvWfl586aCeiG83FtaoQlfCX8RH-cgkT1V-yKz3CfMS2YExXUCyjg9ObnkhCyRvC5_vrrGVVdU1b8fP7zyec_oKeWD5uQ-6AZBqqOR_JUEO8yLNOsFxNjrY0gn-3sy4Jo6jE/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+030.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Coming out of the bathroom, I saw a dude selling beer out of a wheelbarrow..</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br />
</span></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEZBf93G3di8Iw29gA-5oZ0bTe6AuFRHIisELf2KuxVClTpNZX8c5W1mmgDHPIyFcc5WDlr7HTM2nPDbeo4XTRiTLMhDmY9Z3fz9h09n9joHQ1h_l7jJup3VDIz5wVK8qWWDJdagVknPw/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEZBf93G3di8Iw29gA-5oZ0bTe6AuFRHIisELf2KuxVClTpNZX8c5W1mmgDHPIyFcc5WDlr7HTM2nPDbeo4XTRiTLMhDmY9Z3fz9h09n9joHQ1h_l7jJup3VDIz5wVK8qWWDJdagVknPw/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+035.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...who I'm pretty certain was former NFL head coach Herm Edwards.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.georgeblowfish.com/hermanbioshot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.georgeblowfish.com/hermanbioshot.jpg" width="309" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After the show ended, we went back to the PGA Resort for the Antsmarching.org post-show party. I grabbed a beer and followed the Ants to one of the ballrooms...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCh5h22fcS4ggTojBDXIKM8jzZrVKNleKj-eKI6Os0CgyFX-o3607Mlwhny2p9yUBCZDz9_1nFaYB0sb9LcWA2wuuOwN2ET22Sm1DrY3xXvIKhOSgM_ntlgRd-i3_DSp6pDA8CnmiYpKQ/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+044.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCh5h22fcS4ggTojBDXIKM8jzZrVKNleKj-eKI6Os0CgyFX-o3607Mlwhny2p9yUBCZDz9_1nFaYB0sb9LcWA2wuuOwN2ET22Sm1DrY3xXvIKhOSgM_ntlgRd-i3_DSp6pDA8CnmiYpKQ/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+044.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...where we ran into our buddy Jake...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAEjLM8y5Wgj8ulz6ze5IzdYfUce7-znI7unbhzQ2nfkxf3P7_YmDsc0ZbgQan9rZOfwfTDHK1ZSPWW1IxLuCrSYIMAFESgUKs9zVsKw_g2Yez6jF_UpCojEWI7WhLs3p5rH6AResUc80/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+045.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAEjLM8y5Wgj8ulz6ze5IzdYfUce7-znI7unbhzQ2nfkxf3P7_YmDsc0ZbgQan9rZOfwfTDHK1ZSPWW1IxLuCrSYIMAFESgUKs9zVsKw_g2Yez6jF_UpCojEWI7WhLs3p5rH6AResUc80/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+045.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...met with the post-show entertainers (top-notch talents, BTW)...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs0KyY440ygQbnx1b_U93W_DxGFQST8h0ZXWiSv9l7SEajNcfLXZF7QIJ8U9cMCBUCj9NU9R16dlRC8eRozUJdK4Gdop4ozK4b-YEawrsp3LbHrnb-DJOiYjUFLSkDevZl0HVVt3wLb-M/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+050.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs0KyY440ygQbnx1b_U93W_DxGFQST8h0ZXWiSv9l7SEajNcfLXZF7QIJ8U9cMCBUCj9NU9R16dlRC8eRozUJdK4Gdop4ozK4b-YEawrsp3LbHrnb-DJOiYjUFLSkDevZl0HVVt3wLb-M/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+050.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...grabbed some swag...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrtG0x_DTfMYBPI4TxqfMTAoSBxI7b2AcSBuvTbBWxsEWwGsJFGgFlzMLHgs2rSgPCorVFFhX5SThKkcbFe6HjLA-tPsKODlpRKzHL_7pRn-sA84dFNah-4oB5TG2dAHtjUZC47nvk03o/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+048.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrtG0x_DTfMYBPI4TxqfMTAoSBxI7b2AcSBuvTbBWxsEWwGsJFGgFlzMLHgs2rSgPCorVFFhX5SThKkcbFe6HjLA-tPsKODlpRKzHL_7pRn-sA84dFNah-4oB5TG2dAHtjUZC47nvk03o/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+048.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and partied with all these beautiful people...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkBtkiTR6iNQauZhy8G6ig2cLO4ywiQYu9QUGyENAX9BqTQO6U9oPDAWzrBAfqxuUPwyalTisWKyd3BpcwxB2p0khaXHGJbxRyRwSnLs029cg6NFzrgPKZVgGS7XA8Ok6jR6qhck6iygA/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+047.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkBtkiTR6iNQauZhy8G6ig2cLO4ywiQYu9QUGyENAX9BqTQO6U9oPDAWzrBAfqxuUPwyalTisWKyd3BpcwxB2p0khaXHGJbxRyRwSnLs029cg6NFzrgPKZVgGS7XA8Ok6jR6qhck6iygA/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+047.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and of course the family.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY-BjdiDeBdtDivkEiA2wAaXOciFzVxBkQH0gxsjYYIdZGoXnjOpw9qOEnUhea5fX3eNC6UIqG7DbGoh1xMNMME-s5-rcodMt7HBLfqut9rfmAOFfS85xcCNahdPCiy27RPnKJJqitvsg/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+051.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY-BjdiDeBdtDivkEiA2wAaXOciFzVxBkQH0gxsjYYIdZGoXnjOpw9qOEnUhea5fX3eNC6UIqG7DbGoh1xMNMME-s5-rcodMt7HBLfqut9rfmAOFfS85xcCNahdPCiy27RPnKJJqitvsg/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+051.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I drunkenly stumbled back to my room, but before I passed out, I graciously helped push this sea turtle back into the ocean.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo81OzV_K9AJelECHRQhwnIcG3PzXkLW9bc31Q6WzpLSbz1Cwmxrw8RyrkkbMZBWq06aQ7hWBgHvLQI7jqvyhUcyfbAupsmV9ZhaTXeMGYCzOq2Ah9fDwB05d10xLAQZD52BOgVWxK7ww/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+042.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo81OzV_K9AJelECHRQhwnIcG3PzXkLW9bc31Q6WzpLSbz1Cwmxrw8RyrkkbMZBWq06aQ7hWBgHvLQI7jqvyhUcyfbAupsmV9ZhaTXeMGYCzOq2Ah9fDwB05d10xLAQZD52BOgVWxK7ww/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+042.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My buddy Captain Screamers helped push too:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhudkCHS1QlnMRMmR5n1l30rxnFsDUXLcjjpgG2qtVOtrNLffpfJzuuzV_HSJkvZCs7sBRrcnVcGoan2w_RCjoQP5t5GXMwh2d6g0EzIaIKlFjggn9xARDt7zjVbRrbSpFbC4xp2XgwFTU/s1600/DMB+-+West+Palm+043.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhudkCHS1QlnMRMmR5n1l30rxnFsDUXLcjjpgG2qtVOtrNLffpfJzuuzV_HSJkvZCs7sBRrcnVcGoan2w_RCjoQP5t5GXMwh2d6g0EzIaIKlFjggn9xARDt7zjVbRrbSpFbC4xp2XgwFTU/s320/DMB+-+West+Palm+043.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Okay, so we weren't exactly pushing her back in the ocean, but before you condemn me as taking advantage of my newfound celebrity status, just ask yourself one question: Where the hell did you think Sea Monkeys come from? Duh.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Man I'm spent, time for bed.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Saturday, July 31st -</span></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What a gorgeous morning! I headed out to the pool early to relax in a cabana...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig8lyvI4gCfy3YJbI70LxoJQStroRrt2XpIqVAVVsvfV_8xG3T9VoliBya67KVxyrN44eOQDj-Xefc8R040ziAYgA3OgZ5mUBez6to4_ldAS_BOSztRzQUqEywHBnCPr2aX99aH77x_x8/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig8lyvI4gCfy3YJbI70LxoJQStroRrt2XpIqVAVVsvfV_8xG3T9VoliBya67KVxyrN44eOQDj-Xefc8R040ziAYgA3OgZ5mUBez6to4_ldAS_BOSztRzQUqEywHBnCPr2aX99aH77x_x8/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+005.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...before grabbing some lounge chairs at the pool.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGglzX4oqe4O7GFJeQqhzrxJhXz95YqSDdym33W4081qGNgkECqhx0RFczIzzLlBxRVvQnl1zj_WjwbEdXhRo4WMjBloy_cLsm3ubp_xzfDTc9LTxSNm3EeqW9RecgFD3EfhDSBb4kAQ4/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGglzX4oqe4O7GFJeQqhzrxJhXz95YqSDdym33W4081qGNgkECqhx0RFczIzzLlBxRVvQnl1zj_WjwbEdXhRo4WMjBloy_cLsm3ubp_xzfDTc9LTxSNm3EeqW9RecgFD3EfhDSBb4kAQ4/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+003.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I enjoy the solitude out here at 9am...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMIWacOR5VpfXEh5Um7eA_ujysbwNuMpA4V8IOg1uCme1Cm46e5LARm8BANcx5WKBkRybMsfl_z2zstqFejjogWTgWnntIeD2BBdEwhNSEzgf1G0U8XIktjz3Cpx6vrVnRN1zwTYR7ldk/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMIWacOR5VpfXEh5Um7eA_ujysbwNuMpA4V8IOg1uCme1Cm46e5LARm8BANcx5WKBkRybMsfl_z2zstqFejjogWTgWnntIeD2BBdEwhNSEzgf1G0U8XIktjz3Cpx6vrVnRN1zwTYR7ldk/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+004.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...but it's even better at noon:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimZ_pciY32MurM5ElXJVL6Lr6dPj5yo4SMOoZPc5VG416ELGBCe3iuZtVcUPd1SC0PxhR5npRUGcXstjswf_57OV5gO99qLvzW806v_rAgtr7az0FREEGKcQGesXStsrbeeum1nuX2M6Y/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimZ_pciY32MurM5ElXJVL6Lr6dPj5yo4SMOoZPc5VG416ELGBCe3iuZtVcUPd1SC0PxhR5npRUGcXstjswf_57OV5gO99qLvzW806v_rAgtr7az0FREEGKcQGesXStsrbeeum1nuX2M6Y/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+015.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I got to meet a falcon that was really into S & M.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMKKYG4SxGwvBnwdtORYrXz-5wHSh97REQaNbTjqSWO8vta4pOTx6fQo0MfoQC04kcR22rRUXgZy6xr0eJBjJVGcc6p1ufG8vKcpRQ-wsi6jnF3NqWxvHtwdEQFqor7L-DF4_EtuWHi2I/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMKKYG4SxGwvBnwdtORYrXz-5wHSh97REQaNbTjqSWO8vta4pOTx6fQo0MfoQC04kcR22rRUXgZy6xr0eJBjJVGcc6p1ufG8vKcpRQ-wsi6jnF3NqWxvHtwdEQFqor7L-DF4_EtuWHi2I/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+009.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">For the next several hours, we listened to music poolside, including an unreleased soundboard recording of a DMB show from 1996. I got drunk on vodka/lemonades...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidBa3BsDmHGXox77FhHAPlNhQIpcy00_1kSOWK6-GPwdl2e6HzpSjg5HGqGlW_n__V5ih9dUSMqVyC4BSQv1UHxOZwf2w3eJY2nGjclm_5QmY7mxrO30HklW0voSPrWvh-r4szkqfODlA/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidBa3BsDmHGXox77FhHAPlNhQIpcy00_1kSOWK6-GPwdl2e6HzpSjg5HGqGlW_n__V5ih9dUSMqVyC4BSQv1UHxOZwf2w3eJY2nGjclm_5QmY7mxrO30HklW0voSPrWvh-r4szkqfODlA/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+013.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...until Tina cut me off. What the french, toast?!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCMXy5lWLOcdag5pjACvqqIwOU79ipkmrbgRcDXjFnmGJ4DC6l13TN31MkNVHyjDRCmYFzpMeKh0oM43owJbNG6EZmiyaHV46mxt5acGLSPHY89LtSfgrQdtM47zaCRQqivKAleWTAfsA/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+010.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCMXy5lWLOcdag5pjACvqqIwOU79ipkmrbgRcDXjFnmGJ4DC6l13TN31MkNVHyjDRCmYFzpMeKh0oM43owJbNG6EZmiyaHV46mxt5acGLSPHY89LtSfgrQdtM47zaCRQqivKAleWTAfsA/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+010.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">How sad is this photo? Stupid Tina, you're not the boss of me.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkn79GZzpJq6TJ3q3UWM-owUH1nrg3iP4ytq1fqyZ4pCY1zADhUVDJJtQOvrdKFNegMa90YjPDjLoVjmMEIkk5yQUaABCYgBcdaYHFgWJuAPhGswK8xrfeHcNhjgVZYWeKR4pRnXntmfE/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkn79GZzpJq6TJ3q3UWM-owUH1nrg3iP4ytq1fqyZ4pCY1zADhUVDJJtQOvrdKFNegMa90YjPDjLoVjmMEIkk5yQUaABCYgBcdaYHFgWJuAPhGswK8xrfeHcNhjgVZYWeKR4pRnXntmfE/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+012.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And now for some random pictures:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBWA3XJy7NaOxSz3OIhKafIkvpCzJLG69gVylas7dRdf653tcHIYz9A6dA-7tFFHo9D7l5ThQZBCyuzUBiK11odGPO_90jM46Z5QR3rMY-OImV0BoMr4ufSPXR3hm9S58a8kqGwX5o-n0/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+024.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBWA3XJy7NaOxSz3OIhKafIkvpCzJLG69gVylas7dRdf653tcHIYz9A6dA-7tFFHo9D7l5ThQZBCyuzUBiK11odGPO_90jM46Z5QR3rMY-OImV0BoMr4ufSPXR3hm9S58a8kqGwX5o-n0/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+024.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEoJ6jiNj_l_ZS5gDPidtsjw5mAViGgbjsSXdtaPrUJGydooZ-_Te2G1HyjM6E0FzWOEH1oFCzEHLBJr1cTnMVb7PxSzRw9wv9kRzDAcHej4OHsP6idd_t6_Spj3-COxTkec-eHJWc63s/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+018.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEoJ6jiNj_l_ZS5gDPidtsjw5mAViGgbjsSXdtaPrUJGydooZ-_Te2G1HyjM6E0FzWOEH1oFCzEHLBJr1cTnMVb7PxSzRw9wv9kRzDAcHej4OHsP6idd_t6_Spj3-COxTkec-eHJWc63s/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+018.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCBtmPOtgLkiAXYUfpFwXkRWFjG8SZbIvVtlk2hWZSQRoxxPeIIBW-6n-0HkhXc6i4J6wq0ez27Q0lZ5qH46cFHTJlyKIkEcPs_3_vUP0SVa2IFIZIpoI8_x1q4v31YTZFld7v3yvFLKs/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+030.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCBtmPOtgLkiAXYUfpFwXkRWFjG8SZbIvVtlk2hWZSQRoxxPeIIBW-6n-0HkhXc6i4J6wq0ez27Q0lZ5qH46cFHTJlyKIkEcPs_3_vUP0SVa2IFIZIpoI8_x1q4v31YTZFld7v3yvFLKs/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+030.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjV_tPb-7DmtSNFUkB6rb9acxi1lVXALL3ZCS0Al3Lsr6A-ii2v0zOrk_5JiBTV-ESpECnPc4KkFhfvPP-OvX-XmR2A3qesTrhB46MyPlvUo9ZDriNsIhZZJEfsduRiHluSC2zZR6pvmw/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjV_tPb-7DmtSNFUkB6rb9acxi1lVXALL3ZCS0Al3Lsr6A-ii2v0zOrk_5JiBTV-ESpECnPc4KkFhfvPP-OvX-XmR2A3qesTrhB46MyPlvUo9ZDriNsIhZZJEfsduRiHluSC2zZR6pvmw/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+016.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwZNCCCuwfhdCuEFM5Dvps4kk0uYvBDQR2sXrLWku78_F7L2pmBgHFEJRKbclZ6SiUux8h34wLcmAJvmew2Uw3z-6PpGSgQhbTqld0RdZb3_z_ge204aW_6r7mqxQh6zbeq3LoY3ZjJpE/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+019.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwZNCCCuwfhdCuEFM5Dvps4kk0uYvBDQR2sXrLWku78_F7L2pmBgHFEJRKbclZ6SiUux8h34wLcmAJvmew2Uw3z-6PpGSgQhbTqld0RdZb3_z_ge204aW_6r7mqxQh6zbeq3LoY3ZjJpE/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+019.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There was one BIG drawback to drinking all day:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoLJ-8QK54F3w2g3xtIOmNvIroFrY7fjX6C043yiNJeqI1SQQCfvxmRFz7H7yWMmORgUl9GIf37LyeSgzj10kP97J0hqLcI0ex8itUQ7sAZKrUnNUkFMUJiUyY4KV2VW5ybenIUYgZtRk/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+026.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoLJ-8QK54F3w2g3xtIOmNvIroFrY7fjX6C043yiNJeqI1SQQCfvxmRFz7H7yWMmORgUl9GIf37LyeSgzj10kP97J0hqLcI0ex8itUQ7sAZKrUnNUkFMUJiUyY4KV2VW5ybenIUYgZtRk/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+026.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With my bladder emptied, we packed it up and headed down to the concert. Mike picked up his own Antswolf shirt...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiWAtOXfKA0rJGp8_wj8l5bgtra7H_Gho0DZRVsXYpe_gP-ra9Og-fPfn8GpCol4SGqBZy8ttoV2pA5Nq0NzfZ7K5ZfBHNT0U2GYlblbbGbbFaUHA_a5PNtqr9pcb3cFhqvflDL2u9N_Q/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+037.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiWAtOXfKA0rJGp8_wj8l5bgtra7H_Gho0DZRVsXYpe_gP-ra9Og-fPfn8GpCol4SGqBZy8ttoV2pA5Nq0NzfZ7K5ZfBHNT0U2GYlblbbGbbFaUHA_a5PNtqr9pcb3cFhqvflDL2u9N_Q/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+037.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...Tina was cooling off her sunburned lip (who even knew that was possible?)...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuocPJ4PA1dV5Z-CI-CFnutpXO2G68RnmOcXMT_zN9q0cF2lHHF41uzXtHZvVe9kZiTdto7MHB5XyZ9SgCxB9A-gtXIUngjKI3I_JuVtehGDj4WfaPwt00xqduvoOoY-LqxAhdSmE1ny8/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+032.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuocPJ4PA1dV5Z-CI-CFnutpXO2G68RnmOcXMT_zN9q0cF2lHHF41uzXtHZvVe9kZiTdto7MHB5XyZ9SgCxB9A-gtXIUngjKI3I_JuVtehGDj4WfaPwt00xqduvoOoY-LqxAhdSmE1ny8/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+032.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and I made a new friend.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJhsLdlW95UMajjgneeRzxHJ3IhprVMTkEiXZTxqo7rg7f6XG4_XetWorirsLHbhSMq79cd89Kl2Eq35DpHU9LGgAhxkkb2xAHuiu-p_XpCPE6qyLQhHOCil8huwmkxMbiUlKGDB3Nsro/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJhsLdlW95UMajjgneeRzxHJ3IhprVMTkEiXZTxqo7rg7f6XG4_XetWorirsLHbhSMq79cd89Kl2Eq35DpHU9LGgAhxkkb2xAHuiu-p_XpCPE6qyLQhHOCil8huwmkxMbiUlKGDB3Nsro/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+034.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I also made everyone laugh with my impression of what I would do if I became one of those guys that wore Ed Hardy t-shirts and played "Bros icing Bros".</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCOcJridyHoxMalmU5VS9SxqRz_0B44U3o-RvS4dPN2hJmimW97_1MBvNf9UsoGPfevmZ6JxoZGsAwBAWZJR3MJj6kzVU4uLJCmUG5tIXznfGlUFQAaTGQhjALrUzQkiZEN72rOSJp-3Y/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+036.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCOcJridyHoxMalmU5VS9SxqRz_0B44U3o-RvS4dPN2hJmimW97_1MBvNf9UsoGPfevmZ6JxoZGsAwBAWZJR3MJj6kzVU4uLJCmUG5tIXznfGlUFQAaTGQhjALrUzQkiZEN72rOSJp-3Y/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+036.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One final tailgate photo before heading into the venue.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg828aOTgxGTKL7XMsSVvQtrHIVZw0-Fq28fztdL52f8SONc7SDvOo9g1Fdgwk5FRgvJ0mRxVMpRHyl7mPzaiK9r6Rl69C-Gs8vWiKMh7168YOq-Z0RM0FmofsISc3gAUxh0mtKGyC9glA/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+038.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg828aOTgxGTKL7XMsSVvQtrHIVZw0-Fq28fztdL52f8SONc7SDvOo9g1Fdgwk5FRgvJ0mRxVMpRHyl7mPzaiK9r6Rl69C-Gs8vWiKMh7168YOq-Z0RM0FmofsISc3gAUxh0mtKGyC9glA/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+038.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It nevers ceases to amaze me how many women want a piece of this USDA Primate...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheb8jFqH4UA6ben2t2B_FI8FSKNFi2rrNX_dwWX_lnRZb7CRlnaqFzsmBJwK05eaCMC6bVZ6iE-ESMeOwRWm0gBqdt99jqQQW-Cxt9XLar0fod75boZ4OPfwDb0_yGZIxc37NUYy-MERA/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+039.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheb8jFqH4UA6ben2t2B_FI8FSKNFi2rrNX_dwWX_lnRZb7CRlnaqFzsmBJwK05eaCMC6bVZ6iE-ESMeOwRWm0gBqdt99jqQQW-Cxt9XLar0fod75boZ4OPfwDb0_yGZIxc37NUYy-MERA/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+039.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgomh9opqAzYpBRE5Hu_BXaGmERyIz55J7K0z-gZAOarEok1bCuUeSYaQUaJfBSdk-QderSHgcYA_uAdCJMiK8Q7IAICet8JmL5GtJjqKIDUOWoQ7xy5SqBE41ndzC_a_D8ThrjwKhVb2Y/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+046.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgomh9opqAzYpBRE5Hu_BXaGmERyIz55J7K0z-gZAOarEok1bCuUeSYaQUaJfBSdk-QderSHgcYA_uAdCJMiK8Q7IAICet8JmL5GtJjqKIDUOWoQ7xy5SqBE41ndzC_a_D8ThrjwKhVb2Y/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+046.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8zZm1jsFmBFYBcFsev1uwVUrvD00wKXoqR9ggyi2BWcXtrj2yXSxczZArQSORJbHJDJd9wO52HioUHVHlprSx_UuowgBvWoark9EVO4OCujkDvVlFazf2yLl1n0EOKhjjqbWCkxZO99Q/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8zZm1jsFmBFYBcFsev1uwVUrvD00wKXoqR9ggyi2BWcXtrj2yXSxczZArQSORJbHJDJd9wO52HioUHVHlprSx_UuowgBvWoark9EVO4OCujkDvVlFazf2yLl1n0EOKhjjqbWCkxZO99Q/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+057.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIt8GzA0qs2ZKytOUACw39w1XjddnYPm0TthYUAX_RjDdZOMr84SpOIKNYcN_jpx3ebqkX0S5MxTqJ95104FXH3OscgXoxg4jYgUTSEv3BfgpIu_s4OfYEd2-h01iC7LQium-8T8nNaNw/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+066.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIt8GzA0qs2ZKytOUACw39w1XjddnYPm0TthYUAX_RjDdZOMr84SpOIKNYcN_jpx3ebqkX0S5MxTqJ95104FXH3OscgXoxg4jYgUTSEv3BfgpIu_s4OfYEd2-h01iC7LQium-8T8nNaNw/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+066.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and one dude who was kinda monkey-curious.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj24cwVSyRy4Me0yzV8NodxlzKVHP0Z28GlSXvHfqcccuks4yKZtd4mSdfMkIkv0DW7f1NAPJ9-_-pl2lJ8KDBTaDBbJ3WntPOy6b1JsrVOZC6M6ENfMsoyNagHj1Yc9rKOAQAeIQerkis/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+059.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj24cwVSyRy4Me0yzV8NodxlzKVHP0Z28GlSXvHfqcccuks4yKZtd4mSdfMkIkv0DW7f1NAPJ9-_-pl2lJ8KDBTaDBbJ3WntPOy6b1JsrVOZC6M6ENfMsoyNagHj1Yc9rKOAQAeIQerkis/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+059.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This fella was giving me the eyeball too.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIpK-ARZxD7JcjRpFWGP6o7JIcr1Ck9z96qkLwLoWjT_FOrsRAl2LzVP7HkRYMygSZMJPcGFXplIpWMrbPu4XtgHrZoqJnW1EW3RyUKpnTqMOoI-6kr2a4B8UDYX-Y1ms63O6coYmZoYU/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+040.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIpK-ARZxD7JcjRpFWGP6o7JIcr1Ck9z96qkLwLoWjT_FOrsRAl2LzVP7HkRYMygSZMJPcGFXplIpWMrbPu4XtgHrZoqJnW1EW3RyUKpnTqMOoI-6kr2a4B8UDYX-Y1ms63O6coYmZoYU/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+040.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sorry they're not playing the three songs you know from the radio, boys, but either stand up and dance or get the fuck out...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxzFPSUiH9K5Xn9Q7etsSVgIvqG2UgFfRpHCALPNjuX7ukbYBshR7fOJrCuEj4PBLJklp2TLrP6tZ4K06GXzrk2_f8Y1hvQN_0iCxXaFVOjQm4DsFFjJGwr2N_wp1rzM_vtWs5JDPowA0/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+047.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxzFPSUiH9K5Xn9Q7etsSVgIvqG2UgFfRpHCALPNjuX7ukbYBshR7fOJrCuEj4PBLJklp2TLrP6tZ4K06GXzrk2_f8Y1hvQN_0iCxXaFVOjQm4DsFFjJGwr2N_wp1rzM_vtWs5JDPowA0/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+047.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...because the band is ON FIRE again tonight.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUJC9oH2VrSziHiZc7JhAOzzSsRSDfyaQy9G0d8yeD-9UTMioZOB-b_VL3r51_DUDe01I2xKkpJL3AsH6SHRsGB5984xNJU7TFs4zs1__mmgPztefOlOYw18bKB1Q0Qpj4hyWHWBzPZMc/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+053.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUJC9oH2VrSziHiZc7JhAOzzSsRSDfyaQy9G0d8yeD-9UTMioZOB-b_VL3r51_DUDe01I2xKkpJL3AsH6SHRsGB5984xNJU7TFs4zs1__mmgPztefOlOYw18bKB1Q0Qpj4hyWHWBzPZMc/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+053.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Mike ate his first-ever arepa, followed soon after by his second one. For those that don't know, an arepa is basically a grilled cheese sandwich on cornbread and is excellent.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXXyeH3vq87X_D_imXpsPrwJ0bPgy6K9cCohlafsP__VEpFelBhosCUUwfzngkAdcyllswVoFm6m67DlEEIseYB8qwLy9nl4X1KTMgNNBhwmwLE-bDAMatqW8RtiSKcyw2V555pOBarPU/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+060.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXXyeH3vq87X_D_imXpsPrwJ0bPgy6K9cCohlafsP__VEpFelBhosCUUwfzngkAdcyllswVoFm6m67DlEEIseYB8qwLy9nl4X1KTMgNNBhwmwLE-bDAMatqW8RtiSKcyw2V555pOBarPU/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+060.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With the concert over, we were ready to go back to the hotel for another post-show party, but not before Mike poured out a couple of beers...through his urethra.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihp6ZI_rvVeT1yeGdt7LqpUJKFE9B_msTbXCQvv0oTx6SNTd3rsoZAaxqk9J0qsTxdwWYSnmS-FnDx4an5N6_94MHL4UaWG-jdnGDJdentiAVZ9h825qkMtuaEZpDNcA3VdLsa_GVqh_g/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+061.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihp6ZI_rvVeT1yeGdt7LqpUJKFE9B_msTbXCQvv0oTx6SNTd3rsoZAaxqk9J0qsTxdwWYSnmS-FnDx4an5N6_94MHL4UaWG-jdnGDJdentiAVZ9h825qkMtuaEZpDNcA3VdLsa_GVqh_g/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+061.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We got back the hotel, met some more folks,...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSPeGoMZpeQ6wHIWFpXhBvHfOSgmeTeV4cp9b6qfKuQJKWJwUTvd4Je1fFCxzVac0u85PYuAM1QvFHD82vP_fXtGjdy6hmgEqCYnmmg9vlrmXrEx72aH5FVpqgWOLwJOM7kLc8Zq24RNs/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+065.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSPeGoMZpeQ6wHIWFpXhBvHfOSgmeTeV4cp9b6qfKuQJKWJwUTvd4Je1fFCxzVac0u85PYuAM1QvFHD82vP_fXtGjdy6hmgEqCYnmmg9vlrmXrEx72aH5FVpqgWOLwJOM7kLc8Zq24RNs/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+065.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and drank some delicious beer.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8h3qKkHIU09C67czUyC4L0BIy6HPWLBpVA7Zluf-oskUOJINTfZnLzsgspHOloi0IJU2tNnOcrATI5_VRsh_tAi1FdIdII_On6gKSaTlyEfSfpTCSfrvnGegPJz-MqrMbIwJ9YScxmhs/s1600/West+Palm+Beach+N2+063.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8h3qKkHIU09C67czUyC4L0BIy6HPWLBpVA7Zluf-oskUOJINTfZnLzsgspHOloi0IJU2tNnOcrATI5_VRsh_tAi1FdIdII_On6gKSaTlyEfSfpTCSfrvnGegPJz-MqrMbIwJ9YScxmhs/s320/West+Palm+Beach+N2+063.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So that's about it. Another fantastic weekend of sun, sand, music, booze, friendship, and of course...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="http://www.mylovesign.com/images/photo1_68rx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="http://www.mylovesign.com/images/photo1_68rx.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To the turtle from my room that told me Sunday morning she was pregnant, see ya in court bitch.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As for everyone else, I'll see you in 6 weeks when I hit up my second DMB weekend of the year:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="http://www.scrink.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/header-300x107.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.scrink.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/header-300x107.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">P.S. I still need night 2 tickets...make it happen interwebz.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Follow Floridachad on Twitter:</i> </span><a href="http://twitter.com/Floridachad"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">http://twitter.com/Floridachad</span></a></div>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-44888906069597254562010-07-28T23:00:00.002-04:002010-07-29T07:04:45.123-04:00Has it been a year already?<i>The following blog has been uploaded by my monkey buddy formerly known as Proudess:</i><br />
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How's it hanging, you turds? <br />
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I can't believe it's been a year since the last time I put my opposable thumbs to keyboard to grant you all a look into a weekend of my life. I hope you've all had as productive of a year as I have, but I doubt it, since I've completed 8 years of med school in only 2 semesters. That's right, I'm licensed to practice medicine now.<br />
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Here's a pic of me and my fellow surgeons Chang-Youw, Kim-Suo-Brah, and Ted (Teddy is the one with the slanted eyes).<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimdCqzuTwgGocb-kDDOvKEUOjmVibw_rOjlYr3Vr0zSeSKQ3NFrtiezwQZYCDN6EpIGoajffBHP_XQ073zy-wj_Ll7Vu7M1PlhjJV5YoKbY2jADMYjhPMOx4o7iYlOG2kx_U_PqbacMvU/s1600/2010+-+DMB+West+Palm+004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimdCqzuTwgGocb-kDDOvKEUOjmVibw_rOjlYr3Vr0zSeSKQ3NFrtiezwQZYCDN6EpIGoajffBHP_XQ073zy-wj_Ll7Vu7M1PlhjJV5YoKbY2jADMYjhPMOx4o7iYlOG2kx_U_PqbacMvU/s320/2010+-+DMB+West+Palm+004.JPG" /></a></div><br />
It's funny, none of these guys can drive worth a shit, but they're great with a knife. All three trained at the illustrious Benihana school.<br />
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Due to the popularity of my guest blog last year on this asshole's page, I've felt the need to change my name, kinda like Chad Johnson ---> Chad Ochocinco ---> Insecure Twitter Jagoff With A VH1 Dating Show.<br />
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I will now be know as Dr. Franklin McGigglepants, MD. The MD of course stands for Monkey Doctor. Duh.<br />
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I look forward to meeting many of you in West Palm Beach this weekend...so you can buy me mojitos.<br />
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More to come...<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Follow Floridachad on Twitter: </span><a href="https://twitter.com/Floridachad"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">https://twitter.com/Floridachad</span></a>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-56130131501253724572010-05-20T15:13:00.002-04:002010-05-20T17:57:53.827-04:0010 Sure-Fire Tips To Unlimited Potential Wealth<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With bankruptcies and foreclosures at record levels, and nearly 10% of the US population out of work, people are in a panic to stay afloat. Sure the economy is in the shitter, but don't despair, because I've come up with a handful of brilliant ideas that you can use to become one of the beautiful "haves", instead of the pathetic "have-not" you are right now.</span><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">#1 - Market skin bleach to immigrants in Arizona -</span></b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As long as you haven't had shit stuffed in your ears over the last few months, then you'll agree that this one practically sells itself. All you need to do is set up a few kiosks outside of Home Depot, the alley behind a restaurant, the service entrance to a hotel, a factory; basically anywhere else you'll find low-paying jobs, like a public school.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Look at these Slammin' Sammy before and after shots. He'll never have to worry about being pulled over for "looking suspicious" again:</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://epicturd.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/sammy-sosa-bleached-white-skin-before-and-after.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="216" src="http://epicturd.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/sammy-sosa-bleached-white-skin-before-and-after.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Welcome to the Baseball Hall of Fame, Cracker Sosa.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">#2 - Record a music CD of children's songs -</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.pennfield.net/students/images/wiggles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="318" src="http://www.pennfield.net/students/images/wiggles.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Step 1: pick a topic - animals, colors, pooping. Step 2: pick a melody - "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star", "Old MacDonald Had A Farm", "I'm A Little Teapot", "Itsy Bitsy Spider." Step 3: write nonsensical lyrics - <i>"Skies are blue, eyes are blue, smurfs are blue, and balls are too.</i>" Step 4: blend the 3 ingredients and sing in a "stereotypical homosexual male" voice. That's it! You're gonna need a bigger bank account.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">#3 - Open a sushi stand at an amusement park -</span></b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is a completely untapped market. How many times have you hopped on a roller coaster, dropped over 400-ft straight down at over 100 mph, shot through a series of loop-da-loops, inverted corkscrews, and hairpin turns, and then got off the ride and said, "Man, I could really go for an Octopus and Squid Roll topped with fresh Eel juice." Me too!</span><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><object height="289" width="360"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/erdjqI4IcU8&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/erdjqI4IcU8&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="360" height="289"></embed></object></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">#4 - Sell "miracle weight-loss" pills to fat people -</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.uniquedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/obese-man-calendar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.uniquedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/obese-man-calendar.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yeah, I know that diet and exercise is the only thing that actually works, but you're trying to get rich, not help people. A couple of options to work with here:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You can create your own drug by mashing together different appetite suppressants and metabolism boosters, shaping them into tablets, and market them under a made up name. For example, blend chitosan, hoodia, and green tea extract, and call it "</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Fat Fuck No More</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Another great idea is to make-up your own diet plan. It doesn't matter how ridiculous the menu, people will do it anyways. Veal Piccata for breakfast? Green seedless grapes and Corn Nuts for dinner? Instead of ice cream eat fat-free mayo with honey? Why not? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm currently designing one that consists of eating only Taco Bell and Jello. I call it the "</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Shits and Jiggles</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">" plan.</span><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">#5 - Accuse a priest of sexual misconduct -</span></b><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://thehostess.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://thehostess.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/unknown.jpeg" width="232" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">All this talk about separation of church and state when they should be working on the separation of church and altar boys...<i>bah-dum-bum</i>. A number of priests have been fingered, and the negative press can be hard to swallow, so they gotta suck it up or risk being exposed <i>(giggle)</i>. Let's face it, the Catholic Church has some pretty deep pockets and the last thing the former Nazi Pope needs right now is another sex scandal involving a man of the cloth, so now's your opportunity to get some of that tithing money back before they piss it away on wafers and grape juice.</span><br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">#6 - Hawk "I ♥ Arizona" T-Shirts outside of a Tubby Queef, er, Toby Keith concert -</span></b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://thebovinecomedy.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/tobykeithlookingsmooth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="http://thebovinecomedy.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/tobykeithlookingsmooth.jpg" /></span></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So what if he exploited the armed services to make millions of dollars? He'll put a boot in your ass, that's the American way! So what if he said President Obama "...don't talk, act, or carry himself as a black person." He's not a racist, that's just courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue! So what if he pulled the corners of his eyes back to represent "slant eyes" in reference to the word "yellow" at a Nobel Peace Prize party last year? He's not a racist, he's just Shock'n Y'all! So what if one of his songs promotes lynching? He's not a racist, he's just...actually...shit, I starting to think he might be a racist.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">#7 - Make a porno and distribute it online -</span></b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://s48.radikal.ru/i120/0907/bd/02c65d7d063e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://s48.radikal.ru/i120/0907/bd/02c65d7d063e.jpg" width="223" /></span></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The porn industry worldwide has larger revenue than Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo, Apple, and Netflix...<b>combined</b>. If I need to explain it to you any further, then you're a moron and deserve to eat ramen noodles.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">#8 - Build and rent timeshares on Twilight star Robert Pattinson's forehead -</span></b><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWFDq7fXQQntyYOUs1j-sjhB5QDpuGVBGsJnmvXFuX-rYy16UKqk4yM5q8eK0LSUnA74tnCw76qHDvPshQk1OILt032HOKVgFqwtXwv9840MQ5iEKE8LaR5XOdaRllxmoCiaQMSbUlCReU/s1600/Robert-Pattinson-Hairstyle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWFDq7fXQQntyYOUs1j-sjhB5QDpuGVBGsJnmvXFuX-rYy16UKqk4yM5q8eK0LSUnA74tnCw76qHDvPshQk1OILt032HOKVgFqwtXwv9840MQ5iEKE8LaR5XOdaRllxmoCiaQMSbUlCReU/s320/Robert-Pattinson-Hairstyle.jpg" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Look at all that real estate between his Don King hair and caterpillar eyebrows. I used to say that you could show IMAX films on that frontal bone, but I vastly understated the available acreage. I'm actually shocked that Donald Trump hasn't purchased this kid's melon and started building massive skyscrapers on it. But you better buy in quickly, cuz as this dude's popularity soars, his head's gonna swell along with it, netting you a pretty hefty return on your investment.</span><br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">#9 - Sell Kleenex to Fox News talking head Glenn Beck -</span></b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.bvblackspin.com/media/2009/08/glen-beck-crying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="190" src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.bvblackspin.com/media/2009/08/glen-beck-crying.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Glenn Beck's show is great because you get to see a grown man have a fake emotional breakdown on a daily basis. "Everyone is out to get me! WAHHH!", "I have a hangnail! WAHHH!", "This grocery store won't accept competitor's coupons! WAHHH!", "Walgreens stopped carrying my tampons! WAHHH!", "Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sundays! WAHHH!" <i>(actually, that last one is my gripe)</i>. I bet you need hip waders just to stand in his studio. Look Glenn, I know you're a recovering alcoholic and drug addict with diagnosed ADHD <i>(it's true, look it up)</i>, but grow a pair of fucking balls, you whiny little bitch.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">#10 - Become a celebrity via a television appearance -</span></b><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://socialitelife.celebuzz.com/bfm_gallery/2009/12/jersey_shores_nicole_snooki_polizzi_and_the_saturday_night_live_parody/gallery_main/gallery_main-nicole-snooki-polizzi-saturday-night-live-photos-12202009-02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://socialitelife.celebuzz.com/bfm_gallery/2009/12/jersey_shores_nicole_snooki_polizzi_and_the_saturday_night_live_parody/gallery_main/gallery_main-nicole-snooki-polizzi-saturday-night-live-photos-12202009-02.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm not talking about the people that have ACTUAL talent like Kelly Clarkson, Terry Fator, Daughtry, etc. I'm talking about the dickholes that have no discernible skills. Some are at the right place at the right time (Joe the Plumber), others spit 8 kids out of their twat (Octomom, Kate Gosselin). Some can imitate a horse face (Greta Van Susteren), others just sell their soul to the devil (Elisabeth Hasselbeck). </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Look, you could work hard, keep your nose clean, be nice to your fellow man, and all that bullshit, but that's not gonna pay the bills. So get out there and get your millions, no matter how many people you have to step on to get it. Sure it may be hard to sleep at night, but at least you'll be sleeping on a pile of money.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0807/my-bed-motifake-money-bed-pwnd-demotivational-poster-1215361947.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="271" src="http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0807/my-bed-motifake-money-bed-pwnd-demotivational-poster-1215361947.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Follow Chad on Twitter:</span></b></i> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><a href="http://twitter.com/Floridachad">http://twitter.com/Floridachad</a></span></span>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-10907732049745026952010-04-18T09:46:00.010-04:002010-04-18T10:09:43.063-04:00Double Down = Triple Bypass<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So the geniuses that brought you the Famous Bowl (mashed potatoes, chicken nuggets, corn, cheese, and gravy) and Kentucky Grilled Chicken (KGC?) have created a new bun-less chicken sandwich. For $4.99 you get two pieces of cheese and two strips of bacon covered in spicy pepper sauce, then they cram that between two pieces of fried chicken. But it's white-meat chicken, so you know it's good for you. Since I'm such a proponent of healthy eating, I stopped by my local KFC on Saturday to try their new offering. For presentation, I give it a 1.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgILKNisrJGX0JFuLJxUytJttmiYo24zb2CfLZ1Yme0WXCgSR0SDXVUY72Wdj7VvfrWrlZp3wI37dAEEpiYVDhG5ZupKCPBy2Vrp1XBEkF9ll4Hk5alDIdbHJO8k6WzlzH38JWlQzTrpOA/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgILKNisrJGX0JFuLJxUytJttmiYo24zb2CfLZ1Yme0WXCgSR0SDXVUY72Wdj7VvfrWrlZp3wI37dAEEpiYVDhG5ZupKCPBy2Vrp1XBEkF9ll4Hk5alDIdbHJO8k6WzlzH38JWlQzTrpOA/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+008.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">For tastiness, I give it an 8.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzGD0p8V5Iflr9Nn6JcXch3xMe8LeMySZls0iDho_yM3q2Eg7KAJZE_lCTCnLl34Rr70vH9z1yLbOZW2iw7OG-6b2rvA6aJQHKFFjsXGaAfHUkrvQap6zuSm-f8vrdegF8AeuaBmaPXs8/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzGD0p8V5Iflr9Nn6JcXch3xMe8LeMySZls0iDho_yM3q2Eg7KAJZE_lCTCnLl34Rr70vH9z1yLbOZW2iw7OG-6b2rvA6aJQHKFFjsXGaAfHUkrvQap6zuSm-f8vrdegF8AeuaBmaPXs8/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+009.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Wow, the deep-fried goodness really goes straight to your pores. I start to sweat halfway through eating it.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmZgt29s_KCx1T29-eLzBliyI9fgFuGbVoUf4W1c0n1NvFRqiDTLMkgEZNG9kRHSN24UUWnakQR6I0P-BCmewMTcDM1Fah4m2s8m56vQlYUtmCs2-qNyKK2PpnQhTeOuwxeW6HL8QaXnM/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+011.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmZgt29s_KCx1T29-eLzBliyI9fgFuGbVoUf4W1c0n1NvFRqiDTLMkgEZNG9kRHSN24UUWnakQR6I0P-BCmewMTcDM1Fah4m2s8m56vQlYUtmCs2-qNyKK2PpnQhTeOuwxeW6HL8QaXnM/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+011.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tina gives it a whirl as well.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_TxSVfODidWMNB3HYLLbq3vNGk7whuPlx0Ayo3wghNptDJadXn2xTKTAxidRjaPrs3K2rkIo3UKrEbUuucwWo31-KJmNOuIzL5_omwmyDM57toGT8oke89CcF_dZMeXYnMtbjjqL8xUY/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_TxSVfODidWMNB3HYLLbq3vNGk7whuPlx0Ayo3wghNptDJadXn2xTKTAxidRjaPrs3K2rkIo3UKrEbUuucwWo31-KJmNOuIzL5_omwmyDM57toGT8oke89CcF_dZMeXYnMtbjjqL8xUY/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+014.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Overall, I'd have to say it was better than I expected, but I started thinking "Ya know, there's got to be a way to make this cheesy, bacony, fried chickeny sammich even more unhealthy and tastier."</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So after a quick trip to my local grocery store, it was game on.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I started with a flour tortilla, because everything, EVERYTHING, tastes better when made into a burrito.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2zxkyT1ymNiujCuWFMSz8z8Ro9x2L7jJW0EegeV9_5Jb7ZO_5Q1XpCMVS0bxXgKLdoItnYcNUWfwfD1Ju8lcc3NEiBVSK4r9Ot3VtrI8nQ6-b7vPgrlf5VZrZb6OJuZ9mpfDJp5unSdw/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2zxkyT1ymNiujCuWFMSz8z8Ro9x2L7jJW0EegeV9_5Jb7ZO_5Q1XpCMVS0bxXgKLdoItnYcNUWfwfD1Ju8lcc3NEiBVSK4r9Ot3VtrI8nQ6-b7vPgrlf5VZrZb6OJuZ9mpfDJp5unSdw/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+015.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now we add some diced KFC Double Down...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFfPB9hw-JNSRudHzrYdJHuse1_b56vzB6RFCmwtahcXfHKq5X8jcE0m8XX-hEZ5wi5rF8Ubt3XsQlZt5taBO8MbO5HNnr5PSBNoCzmc-Ff-w88nSqQuViF00bWTFnyh9UHbB1CG12-50/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFfPB9hw-JNSRudHzrYdJHuse1_b56vzB6RFCmwtahcXfHKq5X8jcE0m8XX-hEZ5wi5rF8Ubt3XsQlZt5taBO8MbO5HNnr5PSBNoCzmc-Ff-w88nSqQuViF00bWTFnyh9UHbB1CG12-50/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+016.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...a slice of ham...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi530JPshFEniqJbWTlh8FIFtW7p8J-qzC1fmjvQyY0ttEosSpLZN24joaDOcdASyFUgcXbXetXigBe1_Pd2dVf0ED3Yor73-vE3Oe2FHS1sFmzrR2cmRWNFRNy0UQ9WNBMfioyMJXO4GU/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+017.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi530JPshFEniqJbWTlh8FIFtW7p8J-qzC1fmjvQyY0ttEosSpLZN24joaDOcdASyFUgcXbXetXigBe1_Pd2dVf0ED3Yor73-vE3Oe2FHS1sFmzrR2cmRWNFRNy0UQ9WNBMfioyMJXO4GU/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+017.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...some philly cheesesteak...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3AMuZb-NJ0c-8F-_HvmbqOMnKWG7g4PLN3vdWZ1PV8WpYhR49nQT-WIost-lq2GKiYkgp5snClYCqOAkZpLI-wi3toZ0UaknFyWXSTf5hUBhQWhFPFcJdr9hOEqDaDyOWqVd0NSQPpks/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+018.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3AMuZb-NJ0c-8F-_HvmbqOMnKWG7g4PLN3vdWZ1PV8WpYhR49nQT-WIost-lq2GKiYkgp5snClYCqOAkZpLI-wi3toZ0UaknFyWXSTf5hUBhQWhFPFcJdr9hOEqDaDyOWqVd0NSQPpks/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+018.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...gotta add a handful of tater tots in there...</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEjc1T3dM3Ti7X993fCd70s95SkmtonHLBeSA2kHheROfV3wO3678fjtSF4H8npjVMF6LKr2cR3vh-TrHCRUovbJUyKqsuNiz6qr23EA8hjVwKxHj_iNQrblzlMBroIyPHiP8C4ne93LY/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+019.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEjc1T3dM3Ti7X993fCd70s95SkmtonHLBeSA2kHheROfV3wO3678fjtSF4H8npjVMF6LKr2cR3vh-TrHCRUovbJUyKqsuNiz6qr23EA8hjVwKxHj_iNQrblzlMBroIyPHiP8C4ne93LY/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+019.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...everyone loves macaroni and cheese...</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTQZl77M2JZ1Hh6LP7Fn7gGIItD3uvTy1DBUtGmQKkXIIvDjC1_qShI30Z7e8xd7dSsrImhIE_E3lKyPy0vrvleZ7MPNglouFXNG-Yzhyh9VpyB-y0fLdrWMdu3V-FIitZWrPh8kTkJRo/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+020.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTQZl77M2JZ1Hh6LP7Fn7gGIItD3uvTy1DBUtGmQKkXIIvDjC1_qShI30Z7e8xd7dSsrImhIE_E3lKyPy0vrvleZ7MPNglouFXNG-Yzhyh9VpyB-y0fLdrWMdu3V-FIitZWrPh8kTkJRo/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+020.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...definitely need to throw some chili in there. Chili rules...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcVpnYfYrV9odG7YUB7ghODXUAI40GbzBhrEOW9_zmI1c6DJemVuJdw4S67prK4mx20t7wdsax2HgGcYsBBc5UBSagEsjX6Tnb68DFldUBTkqgFyyafDhm-cnogaCarnyYUUlwhgQ0WL8/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+021.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcVpnYfYrV9odG7YUB7ghODXUAI40GbzBhrEOW9_zmI1c6DJemVuJdw4S67prK4mx20t7wdsax2HgGcYsBBc5UBSagEsjX6Tnb68DFldUBTkqgFyyafDhm-cnogaCarnyYUUlwhgQ0WL8/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+021.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...can't have chili without Fritos...</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggMWlVj9_gOMxRAn_i5x8Nh8XmGykAcYa8OrpNB6w_egW4VkE64ABKCrn00C_iKQnId7-J5jONSEn7aq7I75HWewcbMsAa7To_xudvlKBTxu-Fg2PVwCpe52NdkBdtl4ImKaTWDUW-RkY/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+022.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggMWlVj9_gOMxRAn_i5x8Nh8XmGykAcYa8OrpNB6w_egW4VkE64ABKCrn00C_iKQnId7-J5jONSEn7aq7I75HWewcbMsAa7To_xudvlKBTxu-Fg2PVwCpe52NdkBdtl4ImKaTWDUW-RkY/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+022.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and after much struggle, I'm finally able to roll it up, wrap it in foil, and put it in the toaster oven. One for me, one for T.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnhUSxtan8d4xwmruw0I92EeIJx4k2typaugV62S8UkybHU98PXyjoNkPXyaK_Lbu4skxzr3O941km7zoMSYBwQFqQWq2PBZs-9VsvuC8F7WaYxVDUFwZuRY26zSQhhxkwki6v0UgbIV8/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+023.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnhUSxtan8d4xwmruw0I92EeIJx4k2typaugV62S8UkybHU98PXyjoNkPXyaK_Lbu4skxzr3O941km7zoMSYBwQFqQWq2PBZs-9VsvuC8F7WaYxVDUFwZuRY26zSQhhxkwki6v0UgbIV8/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+023.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After about 10 minutes, it's dinnertime! <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;"><a class="fav-action non-fav" href="http://twitter.com/#" id="status_star_12367056819" style="background-image: url(http://s.twimg.com/a/1271213136/images/sprite-icons.png); background-position: -32px 0px; color: #990000; cursor: pointer; display: inline !important; height: 15px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; visibility: visible; width: 15px;"> </a>My buddy tweeted this:</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><ol class="statuses" id="timeline" style="font-size: 14px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><li class="hentry status search_result u-ApathyXnext" id="status_12367056819" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; border-bottom-color: rgb(238, 238, 238); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 8px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px; position: relative; zoom: 1;"><span class="status-body" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 56px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 48px; overflow-x: visible; overflow-y: visible; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; width: 425px;"><span class="thumb vcard author" style="display: block; height: 50px; left: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: absolute; width: 50px; z-index: 10;"><a class="tweet-url profile-pic" href="http://twitter.com/ApathyXnext" style="clear: right; color: #990000; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="Usc_normal" src="http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/321525997/USC_normal.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-color: transparent; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-color: transparent; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-color: transparent; border-top-width: 0px; height: 48px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; width: 48px;" /></a></span><a class="tweet-url screen-name" href="http://twitter.com/ApathyXnext" style="color: #990000; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">ApathyXnext</a> <span class="msgtxt en" id="msgtxt12367056819" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">I just wrote down the number for the Orlando Emergency Line in preparation for <a class="tweet-url username" href="http://twitter.com/tinaannb" style="color: #990000; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">@<b style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">tinaannb</b></a> and <a class="tweet-url username" href="http://twitter.com/floridachad" style="color: #990000; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">@floridachad</a>'s dinner. <a class="tweet-url hashtag" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23EnjoySweatingGrease" style="color: #990000; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" title="#EnjoySweatingGrease">#EnjoySweatingGrease</a></span></span></li>
</ol></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Just look at how excited I am.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Qa5vmuZulSWGsykBsgAm3QCWu9cXS867455oGwKIbAsMDw3LLk5HiP62Vbo-d61_op3851e0G5hYVVSljKk5jAIGBthIwHV-Q3O2oxmrx20OsYG1RT9YtRerV5gQmrZeI_J8Ox9lUK8/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+025.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Qa5vmuZulSWGsykBsgAm3QCWu9cXS867455oGwKIbAsMDw3LLk5HiP62Vbo-d61_op3851e0G5hYVVSljKk5jAIGBthIwHV-Q3O2oxmrx20OsYG1RT9YtRerV5gQmrZeI_J8Ox9lUK8/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+025.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">LET'S DO THIS!!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb0bYkffb-hC9fJ8JP-9QAmA2vwM2mFd277UXs594WUQgoHSLyxoCclEWKRkkZRIOxOPGVQ3RR33SBhBu6E8YYRI-c4hZRZbvcdSROPHnobkKZNAZ4XJWFCy8W8kbCOKPNc3M3sM-gE4g/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+026.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb0bYkffb-hC9fJ8JP-9QAmA2vwM2mFd277UXs594WUQgoHSLyxoCclEWKRkkZRIOxOPGVQ3RR33SBhBu6E8YYRI-c4hZRZbvcdSROPHnobkKZNAZ4XJWFCy8W8kbCOKPNc3M3sM-gE4g/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+026.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Feast your eyes on this delicious blend of ingredients. Emeril Lagasse can kiss my ass. BAM!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx10mN4y7LsxaB1_v68dANxZfHs8K6Qs4rqTYvrMGq63N7wbMHxgZoxbN4LWJcVJia06UdMIvsdjQkloXx_PSUSlyHxGNbOEMLj_kbHikTDRTSyNnXSe0EKt5IiZsRUYuBSXyxQtIOwSk/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+029.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx10mN4y7LsxaB1_v68dANxZfHs8K6Qs4rqTYvrMGq63N7wbMHxgZoxbN4LWJcVJia06UdMIvsdjQkloXx_PSUSlyHxGNbOEMLj_kbHikTDRTSyNnXSe0EKt5IiZsRUYuBSXyxQtIOwSk/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+029.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tina pairs hers with a pinot noir, because she has an appreciation for fine dining.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoSxq-3bmfRaCkcJta9Pp7acKjJ5xRAA8zBUiyrFt1fxPDAjYhMdO38V8T1D5R26i0wT4wSctDHMwGB54aN0qMcqvOs9RGSCREoPhrRhu4GI5gYOLAjiwm-eGVkAk5sR3CI_k8Dwc3az4/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+030.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoSxq-3bmfRaCkcJta9Pp7acKjJ5xRAA8zBUiyrFt1fxPDAjYhMdO38V8T1D5R26i0wT4wSctDHMwGB54aN0qMcqvOs9RGSCREoPhrRhu4GI5gYOLAjiwm-eGVkAk5sR3CI_k8Dwc3az4/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+030.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Who likes heart palpitations?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijszLWtgheMnye4Q5fGui6g0qe3RjKhZgg0MCFoF2-yKlqKGUyZzisSXJ1Lt_JDkysiX4lz3ENN8sRSctgDdFZwNKpKv9FOIeg0XnPbkBBlNdObQ7sAPPP5bEd8xbNoCHKG7O9wqrX52E/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+032.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijszLWtgheMnye4Q5fGui6g0qe3RjKhZgg0MCFoF2-yKlqKGUyZzisSXJ1Lt_JDkysiX4lz3ENN8sRSctgDdFZwNKpKv9FOIeg0XnPbkBBlNdObQ7sAPPP5bEd8xbNoCHKG7O9wqrX52E/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+032.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Though later, she did tweet this: </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<a class="tweet-url profile-pic" href="http://twitter.com/tinaannb" style="clear: left; color: #990000; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="Manga_normal" src="http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/686554559/Manga_normal.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-color: transparent; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-color: transparent; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-color: transparent; border-top-width: 0px; height: 48px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; width: 48px;" /></a><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a class="tweet-url screen-name" href="http://twitter.com/tinaannb" style="color: #990000; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">tinaannb</a> <span class="msgtxt en" id="msgtxt12367629875" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a class="tweet-url username" href="http://twitter.com/ApathyXnext" style="color: #990000; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">@ApathyXnext</a> My tummy hurts & my heart aches! I think<a class="tweet-url username" href="http://twitter.com/Floridachad" style="color: #990000; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">@Floridachad</a> is trying to kill me. Death by heart disease. Plz send ambulance & Pepto</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">About an hour later I really started to feel it.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsQp0Nd8LI1P9xAGJAg4mI6wbxa9Qj1zhwCihzuol8SOU1-eptdWZP2boucRz6BrkJa10e-sd71ZtjOfSArM9RPjhKXJ8DT7GXE2-8FmrSrpaRpg72EJnKOVQNauBkPy3X3NqyLw7ARhM/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsQp0Nd8LI1P9xAGJAg4mI6wbxa9Qj1zhwCihzuol8SOU1-eptdWZP2boucRz6BrkJa10e-sd71ZtjOfSArM9RPjhKXJ8DT7GXE2-8FmrSrpaRpg72EJnKOVQNauBkPy3X3NqyLw7ARhM/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+034.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yep, this is what America is all about - overindulgence and oneupmanship. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now if you'll excuse me, I've suddenly grown very tired and am going to bed at 10pm...on a Saturday. But I'll be seeing you in the morning...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWBdGFNA3a4BSJDrjSThcTaaSvHuP3hmddQ0mnRw9-qTPVupYVvqA-t4feUWOuMf_BE5z19wOfKGiqRoufS1a2N9Ql5rCiCoasyB4vh3aYCmaLNvGdXaxUyn6zFzek3QoD7nMS3bsGoNE/s1600/Fireplace+Remodel+035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWBdGFNA3a4BSJDrjSThcTaaSvHuP3hmddQ0mnRw9-qTPVupYVvqA-t4feUWOuMf_BE5z19wOfKGiqRoufS1a2N9Ql5rCiCoasyB4vh3aYCmaLNvGdXaxUyn6zFzek3QoD7nMS3bsGoNE/s320/Fireplace+Remodel+035.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Your move, Colonel Sanders.</span></div>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-35751402720884187492010-04-05T16:43:00.002-04:002010-04-05T20:35:12.583-04:00Happy Meatster!!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Ah, Easter Sunday, when we celebrate the birth of Zombie Jesus with rabbits shitting multi-colored plastic eggs, and for some reason, folks eat those disgusting Peeps. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://blogs.citypages.com/food/PeepShow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://blogs.citypages.com/food/PeepShow.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tina and I decided to throw a twist on the traditional Easter brunch this year, and instead dined at Nelore Churrascaria in Winter Park. At first, some would find it odd to dine at a Brazilian steakhouse on Easter Sunday, but rest assured those Brazilians love them some Jesus. They even erected a "Christ-zilla" statue in Rio de Janeiro. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.allpics4u.com/www/slike/place/Statue%20Rio/Statue_Rio8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="249" src="http://www.allpics4u.com/www/slike/place/Statue%20Rio/Statue_Rio8.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We got seated around 2:30 pm - dinner prices started at 3pm...SCORE!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Our waiter brought us a bowl of cheese bread and fried bananas, and two glasses of the blood of Christ.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixFv-kT3rdXPJcosJdj7m_wEbABbCYMtlzk6Sur706pntnbe8BxeQzRtTtIg1zFxIKk7IyME4xuhfFzsrN1JlFYSnY-NZPsn3jnde4ZKJ0AAA9i0DQqYGXU5kTjF8AVF0A_qYBZr_6X0M/s1600/Happy+Meatster+268.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixFv-kT3rdXPJcosJdj7m_wEbABbCYMtlzk6Sur706pntnbe8BxeQzRtTtIg1zFxIKk7IyME4xuhfFzsrN1JlFYSnY-NZPsn3jnde4ZKJ0AAA9i0DQqYGXU5kTjF8AVF0A_qYBZr_6X0M/s320/Happy+Meatster+268.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Speaking of which, if red wine is the blood of Christ, does that make white wine the piss? You know, cuz it IS yellow. Is "Pinot Grigio" Hebrew for penis juice? Hmmm, anyways...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tina and I went up to the salad bar for some asparagus, hearts of palm, artichoke, artisan cheeses, smoked salmon, lobster bisque, etc. Very important not to load up at the salad bar, just grab 1 or 2 pieces of whatever looks good, and save the rest of the room for dead animals.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Back at our table, toasted our Jesus juice, and it's game on. Green means go...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBN_V-qv2ZoL9vCzz3cwHgk7r41_I3Sfk8QdlZYug7V1fxUD-06eTskFpUNhpZqOyhkDJUX9QGnRMBjFIkZZ89PRpn_YPKcOk45wmseQZ0JIViKRAIZOHIGdGYTmFv40Aol1ouRjRvDGg/s1600/Happy+Meatster+279.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBN_V-qv2ZoL9vCzz3cwHgk7r41_I3Sfk8QdlZYug7V1fxUD-06eTskFpUNhpZqOyhkDJUX9QGnRMBjFIkZZ89PRpn_YPKcOk45wmseQZ0JIViKRAIZOHIGdGYTmFv40Aol1ouRjRvDGg/s320/Happy+Meatster+279.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Within seconds, we were swarmed by servers with skewers of meats. I love that their uniform consists of Hammer pants and knee boots...badass.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijR8W84M0rPPRppNtUBtQdXohRT-ZEPklkMOyRKkDcNKUrh3hwDeBmEeYCBURI0amVc5cm8jPx_EHHXufObbiOXh2cp6VcXHGyB8928dTjjBxMyY6veHBs-96SpgyT1QR3HBzxxQ-KaiA/s1600/Happy+Meatster+281.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijR8W84M0rPPRppNtUBtQdXohRT-ZEPklkMOyRKkDcNKUrh3hwDeBmEeYCBURI0amVc5cm8jPx_EHHXufObbiOXh2cp6VcXHGyB8928dTjjBxMyY6veHBs-96SpgyT1QR3HBzxxQ-KaiA/s320/Happy+Meatster+281.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">They brought us bacon-wrapped filet mignon, bacon-wrapped chicken breast...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioXI74GhuI7zB3zT1-PCk4_U1X96lLCPdbcWnLR5xyd03RzWqeiRLYVQYu_PeQQGpJZMdlp5cq7C7mvGjcET_s_o8SnLzrSeB9JPJBo8yRTL4tnu2Ugw3l46T1c-3AY4zxlE5mvIRa8U8/s1600/Happy+Meatster+269.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioXI74GhuI7zB3zT1-PCk4_U1X96lLCPdbcWnLR5xyd03RzWqeiRLYVQYu_PeQQGpJZMdlp5cq7C7mvGjcET_s_o8SnLzrSeB9JPJBo8yRTL4tnu2Ugw3l46T1c-3AY4zxlE5mvIRa8U8/s320/Happy+Meatster+269.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...spicy sausages, chicken legs...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3uJMcxmy_pBQKlITU7jV5co_8-BoX3k6dFWZLoCkf-YO10nheFF9-J35AwTHb0-086X1vaKqnr-yRx6JZOEAAxmW-l-Upwvp_vnJ-a1n3tqrm843BbzOgJEwtzzlHjXo4DFujbhiEcDc/s1600/Happy+Meatster+267.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3uJMcxmy_pBQKlITU7jV5co_8-BoX3k6dFWZLoCkf-YO10nheFF9-J35AwTHb0-086X1vaKqnr-yRx6JZOEAAxmW-l-Upwvp_vnJ-a1n3tqrm843BbzOgJEwtzzlHjXo4DFujbhiEcDc/s320/Happy+Meatster+267.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...a house special sirloin that was unbelievable...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVuSdttFZhWkKhJguKE6Pyqg6Z0r7DcXe2KfBVnuEs-ZDocIWUtd48nxzz0Nyn6vesHl0kDvFUu-wrqAYzxOobsSNgcC6e7n7tP-s5N-XERPbJf7wUP0u44DNyinAi7gtZmIvpkP8bZ9U/s1600/Happy+Meatster+274.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVuSdttFZhWkKhJguKE6Pyqg6Z0r7DcXe2KfBVnuEs-ZDocIWUtd48nxzz0Nyn6vesHl0kDvFUu-wrqAYzxOobsSNgcC6e7n7tP-s5N-XERPbJf7wUP0u44DNyinAi7gtZmIvpkP8bZ9U/s320/Happy+Meatster+274.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...I don't even know what you are, but I'm gonna fuckin' eat you...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie4n5eFc9QWOWuP0AcpDtvSDKBIBIep5Q9_m_ulsT-pMnjRUjK0JvpNN_QHvtDNd-3tfvYTM3eF7D5GsRfrz0dPrgNmNsSBdFBGMZhAtso2UeqbG8T6Ll26JZuEbI_MYAm2XN0W7RIheE/s1600/Happy+Meatster+270.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie4n5eFc9QWOWuP0AcpDtvSDKBIBIep5Q9_m_ulsT-pMnjRUjK0JvpNN_QHvtDNd-3tfvYTM3eF7D5GsRfrz0dPrgNmNsSBdFBGMZhAtso2UeqbG8T6Ll26JZuEbI_MYAm2XN0W7RIheE/s320/Happy+Meatster+270.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...with all these carcasses being served so rapidly, I had to set down the camera and eat. They brought by some leg of lamb and lamb chops which prompted Tina to say, "Poor Bambi". I just stared at her until she said "Oh, wait..."</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We ate garlic beef, BBQ baby backs, flank steak, ribeye, and some beef ribs that were so damn huge they coulda knocked over Fred Flintstone's car.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tina quit first, after complaining that she felt like she was gonna give birth to a meat baby. I followed soon after I began profusely sweating gravy. NO MAS!!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvRretzHxvSRHjaBioDEu9x6Wa0QCRQJN0PzvySEwDTL8O_-3MYbj3SHuwGmX8YyL0wm-UL7nKwa6Slw9pFZCE1f7KoPkaF3KJHbK2Ht5rdH0k9Pswfqads4d6WdKLTGUOArWEWqUWRkg/s1600/Happy+Meatster+278.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvRretzHxvSRHjaBioDEu9x6Wa0QCRQJN0PzvySEwDTL8O_-3MYbj3SHuwGmX8YyL0wm-UL7nKwa6Slw9pFZCE1f7KoPkaF3KJHbK2Ht5rdH0k9Pswfqads4d6WdKLTGUOArWEWqUWRkg/s320/Happy+Meatster+278.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Oh man, I can't eat another bite of...oh, what's this?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVVDT2uBWyJrgEp86f11rdSeIU6KC54FKUoTHQlu3ebuHN_tdY4r2wT-HmrwRenmd63YsHQureGzdjVq8v7eu7pJYcX_fPGV32uYsmaRTMotz7XN59Pkygjo5ACKKulbC2fyyJxlNRxVg/s1600/Happy+Meatster+280.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVVDT2uBWyJrgEp86f11rdSeIU6KC54FKUoTHQlu3ebuHN_tdY4r2wT-HmrwRenmd63YsHQureGzdjVq8v7eu7pJYcX_fPGV32uYsmaRTMotz7XN59Pkygjo5ACKKulbC2fyyJxlNRxVg/s320/Happy+Meatster+280.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We finally left after over an hour of sport-eating and for some reason stopped for gelati on the way home because we are obviously stupid. We spent the rest of the evening fully reclined on the couch, reeking of gluttonous shame but sporting Cheshire smiles.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now if you'll excuse me, there's a toilet with my name on it...</span></div>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-26076404897068110152010-03-12T18:06:00.000-05:002010-03-12T18:06:20.791-05:00Chad and Tina cruise the Southern Caribbean (Part 3 of 3)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Previously on Chad and Tina cruise the Southern Caribbean:</i></span><br />
<a href="http://floridachad.blogspot.com/2010/03/chad-and-tina-cruise-southern-caribbean.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Part 1</i></span></a><br />
<a href="http://floridachad.blogspot.com/2010/03/chad-and-tina-cruise-southern-caribbean_10.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Part 2</i></span></a><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>And now for the exciting conclusion...</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Day 7 - 3/5 - Dominica</i></b></span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjQwApKpxNIjX6NIk8SK-ALseJM3-yl2tvzt2XSK-On0s7z6IJDFXhwxJ-rMe7W22Z-N-3YHz3kBAH3vqQQyqlOBhbIqcvsSyTFZWdl6m3Y3uEqaaj2z-sTQe2UcCJTJ_nqyD52p2NjJ4/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+212.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjQwApKpxNIjX6NIk8SK-ALseJM3-yl2tvzt2XSK-On0s7z6IJDFXhwxJ-rMe7W22Z-N-3YHz3kBAH3vqQQyqlOBhbIqcvsSyTFZWdl6m3Y3uEqaaj2z-sTQe2UcCJTJ_nqyD52p2NjJ4/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+212.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Either champagne has a funky morning-after taste, or a cat came into our stateroom in the middle of the night and took a huge dump in my mouth. Either way, toothpaste has never tasted so delicious.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But enough about that, we have a new island to explore! We began our day with a ride to the top of one of the many mountains of Dominica (pronounced dahm-in-EE-kuh)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">. Here we snapped a photo of downtown Roseau with our ship in the background.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKx8wCzytZgYAnY4HbPZck7Rjse95pKe-2eRjCR2gP8mRDnj5Ril05IP5l-OgXQ5CKiUNK87wWhku4UFBiSMgGkCt4l8_tr1WpJ00Nrfa1REezR6PGylmUBEOtFJ9zHxCUQwDm5DPMZbA/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+189.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKx8wCzytZgYAnY4HbPZck7Rjse95pKe-2eRjCR2gP8mRDnj5Ril05IP5l-OgXQ5CKiUNK87wWhku4UFBiSMgGkCt4l8_tr1WpJ00Nrfa1REezR6PGylmUBEOtFJ9zHxCUQwDm5DPMZbA/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+189.JPG" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here's a shot of the professional cricket stadium.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjieyzXdOE0i0mTcQOy4Uh5uvMqFnghn7zvPmK6DIFpVKg5E7usp-zvmiFAQBFWnn1Zf_nyPo6htnlAE6keKA9XxLZqKjao18zyXdMuuoabBl7O7rkCaVyFO2IkBrp_B7ZuZ1YLkZs_xQg/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+190.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjieyzXdOE0i0mTcQOy4Uh5uvMqFnghn7zvPmK6DIFpVKg5E7usp-zvmiFAQBFWnn1Zf_nyPo6htnlAE6keKA9XxLZqKjao18zyXdMuuoabBl7O7rkCaVyFO2IkBrp_B7ZuZ1YLkZs_xQg/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+190.JPG" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I guess the grasshopper's still maintain their amateur status...hmmm, that joke sounds funnier when you're still champagne drunk on 5 hours sleep. Hopefully they'll get better.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I can't quite decide which caption works best here: "School Bus For Sale: Needs Body Work." -OR - "The dangers of trunk driving." - OR - "Woody fell down on the bus before his first day of tree-school."</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg50_QEbrW9FvQoHvz47l0_fqkS1ZqFteaF7OEuNzeZSNg5Pbapj_vpkka8sGQimkY8IWhbVpfnYrdwMOO3dS6xL8ynamJnHlE7HvX__9Q1Z3fMvgtkIfjYOGc4vwiDlldGU2UPW5pXp3E/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+191.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg50_QEbrW9FvQoHvz47l0_fqkS1ZqFteaF7OEuNzeZSNg5Pbapj_vpkka8sGQimkY8IWhbVpfnYrdwMOO3dS6xL8ynamJnHlE7HvX__9Q1Z3fMvgtkIfjYOGc4vwiDlldGU2UPW5pXp3E/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+191.JPG" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">During our island tour, we stopped at the Morne Trois Pitons National Park and hiked about 15 minutes through the rain forest to Emerald Pool.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgySmY2dZBAcBEa_FIIoYnG8V0gy6vecU4bwNkpnEqlpx_yAJ2ss_lwhUCFiEuETRZ2AoPqECuDX2NpFBiNlvakxY5ITyEph-e6w_yw96ZhwkF68vzuVUwWhKldf-1C38fhMxlAW4qXAhU/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+198.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgySmY2dZBAcBEa_FIIoYnG8V0gy6vecU4bwNkpnEqlpx_yAJ2ss_lwhUCFiEuETRZ2AoPqECuDX2NpFBiNlvakxY5ITyEph-e6w_yw96ZhwkF68vzuVUwWhKldf-1C38fhMxlAW4qXAhU/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+198.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The water wasn't "extremely" cold, but there was definitely some shrinkage. Here's a picture of me enjoying the cool water while my weiner impersonates a scared turtle.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvtH45vTcBXtJM3gUfeGYteMHv883lEsVT-cSchduM7rIvk7zTZ_vuNEXMqKwiRRUYlQqXzKoFovB_OEQt1-g80GS8CDsIDg9obhA96A6gyzSgtJ9dhSZXWy1iXSaiXUxBSCHUX50NO4g/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+199.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvtH45vTcBXtJM3gUfeGYteMHv883lEsVT-cSchduM7rIvk7zTZ_vuNEXMqKwiRRUYlQqXzKoFovB_OEQt1-g80GS8CDsIDg9obhA96A6gyzSgtJ9dhSZXWy1iXSaiXUxBSCHUX50NO4g/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+199.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It was too cold for Tina, but she did manage to get in all the way to her knees. Coward.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1pTgkkdq4QooUT-K64WF-KdHhfAwo69_rrZHtDW_rkvrR6g-OhpfibbPtkXuecblCXmmK_GjhAb4OhSHTz3aGEDTtmKAN1-65WvdZ4e5BHDgpB_UMs8t-hCfCd5eHmW8raarvgH7T-0M/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+200.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1pTgkkdq4QooUT-K64WF-KdHhfAwo69_rrZHtDW_rkvrR6g-OhpfibbPtkXuecblCXmmK_GjhAb4OhSHTz3aGEDTtmKAN1-65WvdZ4e5BHDgpB_UMs8t-hCfCd5eHmW8raarvgH7T-0M/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+200.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Our next stop was the nearly deserted Mero Beach, one of the many black sand beaches of this volcanic island.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiVLixjlJZg0ksFHY7Mh_4lX2hdxIeqFwrHM6GsEulM4AXA7uufKI6O1TPQNmK_OLlJL4a1fD2rjrms84L0ID-5O-_Hg5BdUK6VdGRrZX7a6_zmxubudyCiq5DH8cBX973tkT6pQPki2I/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+201.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiVLixjlJZg0ksFHY7Mh_4lX2hdxIeqFwrHM6GsEulM4AXA7uufKI6O1TPQNmK_OLlJL4a1fD2rjrms84L0ID-5O-_Hg5BdUK6VdGRrZX7a6_zmxubudyCiq5DH8cBX973tkT6pQPki2I/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+201.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After an hour or so, we headed back to the ship. Each little town that we passed through had the same roadside planters.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_-AaJFYfAKunRUWbo3fpZF9-ESst094GI_KDY0lOaeWmok2GWa3OpfKdOLwr6gR1tti77V2yLJ2xzEkBnVTVgxbFM8uFEs1WGxnkLAAo5r3V-7he96PKr1molCb5eG1HC2scKLFYpnpg/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+205.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_-AaJFYfAKunRUWbo3fpZF9-ESst094GI_KDY0lOaeWmok2GWa3OpfKdOLwr6gR1tti77V2yLJ2xzEkBnVTVgxbFM8uFEs1WGxnkLAAo5r3V-7he96PKr1molCb5eG1HC2scKLFYpnpg/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+205.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm not sure if they got "tired" of using clay pots or just wanted to start a new "tread" in landscaping.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We get back on the ship, bid adieu to Dominica...</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim4o1h1_QdNvg4cLFT15mplO2RwIFbCepqfb1bfzNyka4FaxNbvYyIR4_A9PLJndRTNZrBQTCLGKXNRWxFDBNNZAqx9V1AXCy4muuLJJiZnVQmOp-9ziSEbeTPmF0k0-1fDMdpt5WJidM/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+207.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim4o1h1_QdNvg4cLFT15mplO2RwIFbCepqfb1bfzNyka4FaxNbvYyIR4_A9PLJndRTNZrBQTCLGKXNRWxFDBNNZAqx9V1AXCy4muuLJJiZnVQmOp-9ziSEbeTPmF0k0-1fDMdpt5WJidM/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+207.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...took naps, cleaned ourselves up, and headed to dinner where Tina once again tries to master the cork trick we learned on our last cruise (link <a href="http://floridachad.blogspot.com/2009/08/chad-and-tina-cruise-western-carribean_07.html">HERE</a> for those that missed it). </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvPnc-MVRajiKPD5QvPri8cJXS9T7WT2VROscG3hmdiiBeaEitGGBaYz8rC55ttawYiaqWTe89wEGm-V9AHxm41FSIJ6T_x_xECNTylfRFHyOZFKAXr5PdFX4swx8RiR9dV-hinpPJW3s/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+215.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvPnc-MVRajiKPD5QvPri8cJXS9T7WT2VROscG3hmdiiBeaEitGGBaYz8rC55ttawYiaqWTe89wEGm-V9AHxm41FSIJ6T_x_xECNTylfRFHyOZFKAXr5PdFX4swx8RiR9dV-hinpPJW3s/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+215.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After that, we played some late night trivia. The category was movie quotes - The host reads a quote from a film and you have to guess what movie it's from, what character said it, and which actor played the role. I'm fairly confident going in that we're gonna be leaving with another free bottle of the bubbly. Some other passenger spotted me walking in and "somewhat" jokingly said that I've won enough bottles of champagne and I should let someone else win. My response?</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQfnY6xBMqJ3o09cB8yxYiKHHWEQI6yMrS1PnScCSFo8KkjJN36KwLIdNlGBxjhnlppofVOuMP3RG_lhOCb11N782lLPMqKc4jLeK9kroKrojWGLhDBEYrqZtBeQi8n5zUiqSOR7duHso/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+220.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQfnY6xBMqJ3o09cB8yxYiKHHWEQI6yMrS1PnScCSFo8KkjJN36KwLIdNlGBxjhnlppofVOuMP3RG_lhOCb11N782lLPMqKc4jLeK9kroKrojWGLhDBEYrqZtBeQi8n5zUiqSOR7duHso/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+220.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We destroyed those fools!! ALL HAIL THE KING AND QUEEN OF FREE CHAMPAGNEVILLE!!</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We were pretty tired at this point so rather than crack it open, we decided to save it for the next night. We went back to our room and caught a bit of Transformers 2 on TV. What an awful, awful movie. Nothing quite puts me to sleep like the storyline of a Michael Bay film.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Day 8 - 3/6 - St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands</i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We awoke bright and early to a rainy, overcast day...</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCv43C_4W87lTOnQK3LOH2XUUIMSJMj5UC8_v2MzjLZmYr_4-PT0KVWAyAiNqVq-nyo900yzflucXbzQogaaGQFtFpiss4cVxJfo14et5yV0ZgTP4ZzGVT55vcWTr_1sYKk6j8kPfXIv4/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+225.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCv43C_4W87lTOnQK3LOH2XUUIMSJMj5UC8_v2MzjLZmYr_4-PT0KVWAyAiNqVq-nyo900yzflucXbzQogaaGQFtFpiss4cVxJfo14et5yV0ZgTP4ZzGVT55vcWTr_1sYKk6j8kPfXIv4/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+225.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...but luckily it did clear up right before we left the ship at 8am. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">These big suckers were everywhere, like cockroaches in NYC, gays in San Fran, and morons in Texas.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeBvv3aPYWkfPFTkdYYtnr2uVyPVGhBuN0evxgiYzEmDqOE4dfR5CWWIkl0n9KM06YqtKDf3wQgq1bIXqClkUAOu3n-pg9VfV0uG-7AGNjzLAUpBLx6sO0391BG9tVmVD6qxe7YraeVXY/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+224.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeBvv3aPYWkfPFTkdYYtnr2uVyPVGhBuN0evxgiYzEmDqOE4dfR5CWWIkl0n9KM06YqtKDf3wQgq1bIXqClkUAOu3n-pg9VfV0uG-7AGNjzLAUpBLx6sO0391BG9tVmVD6qxe7YraeVXY/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+224.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY4ZTTVAhYsW-cfV48aKvW45Y8hghyphenhyphenqV3ahOCN8r3HoIlWBjKsAi0brXcN3AkcHoTNCt8Sfr0I5_1DccSLF_OzmEqbVabsoMzYZsU17jocTMEONFvx8Vua1_3jslbjJfRxnVGrAlZjgAg/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+246.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY4ZTTVAhYsW-cfV48aKvW45Y8hghyphenhyphenqV3ahOCN8r3HoIlWBjKsAi0brXcN3AkcHoTNCt8Sfr0I5_1DccSLF_OzmEqbVabsoMzYZsU17jocTMEONFvx8Vua1_3jslbjJfRxnVGrAlZjgAg/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+246.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Since St. Thomas is the patron saint of snorkeling and booze cruising, that's what we booked. We hopped aboard a catamaran and set sail for a deserted island.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0wS3UJiv1fUz7Y50HTE9wAz_iN36zuZkC50KWkaQ9kSu1bK34dHkQxufdrmeoiQ4CWhWKNZFpkPCl5ZZwAOCKFyeAFlda5dFsvtILmL3fVfiB_tIYBN3sSnE-d_V6CW4mnWpBqHWHhFk/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+227.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0wS3UJiv1fUz7Y50HTE9wAz_iN36zuZkC50KWkaQ9kSu1bK34dHkQxufdrmeoiQ4CWhWKNZFpkPCl5ZZwAOCKFyeAFlda5dFsvtILmL3fVfiB_tIYBN3sSnE-d_V6CW4mnWpBqHWHhFk/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+227.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Our first stop was at a shallow reef where Tina saw a manatee:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1j8YPTviVoDGj0xurKDQs1ZyYSiugfmSZCb3H_JeXUev_IleO7FiWPJor5WuXP4wNSaCQndShcuIf2a5xrAa5SuNhOFnrKlgxyGo424Dth9I-I0mO4OIwH_4G_5wyp6u5Qzr4lF6L25U/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+231.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1j8YPTviVoDGj0xurKDQs1ZyYSiugfmSZCb3H_JeXUev_IleO7FiWPJor5WuXP4wNSaCQndShcuIf2a5xrAa5SuNhOFnrKlgxyGo424Dth9I-I0mO4OIwH_4G_5wyp6u5Qzr4lF6L25U/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+231.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">At our second stop, the aptly named Turtle Cove, we enjoyed swimming around with the sea turtles. Because they were eating about 20-30 feet below the surface, you had to hold your breath and dive down for a closer look.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTZ87YeZTMlWf783J7CJM8dKaGTUmah_OygJCriJt51h6JvslGP6Al5oinWXDZf85g9gC1zabuB8DoEqrT9e5i85YkIFT9zzO_ou2CSpuL0qIL9HciWrJ9hm0qHxImaqZIs8QEve8fTyY/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+232.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTZ87YeZTMlWf783J7CJM8dKaGTUmah_OygJCriJt51h6JvslGP6Al5oinWXDZf85g9gC1zabuB8DoEqrT9e5i85YkIFT9zzO_ou2CSpuL0qIL9HciWrJ9hm0qHxImaqZIs8QEve8fTyY/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+232.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After about 1 1/2 hours of snorkeling, we got back on the catamaran, the captain killed the motor, hoisted the sails, and the crew passed out cup after cup of delicious pineapple-orange rum punch. Tina liked this cocktail...ALOT. About an hour and 10+ drinks after we left Turtle Cove, we arrived back at the ship.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhklSHUxJ9LJ2P7sHkWZS4sviDU4aEBTfNch8KrELEoz3r7CnDkO9EXMkThT8nq59VFu5LLVCBaKB0UfKh2WrjEMRtAQKMhDeD18CNnOOOJ6iV8MxiWMJ4p3cJteq0ze8cQNiof__-whlU/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+241.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhklSHUxJ9LJ2P7sHkWZS4sviDU4aEBTfNch8KrELEoz3r7CnDkO9EXMkThT8nq59VFu5LLVCBaKB0UfKh2WrjEMRtAQKMhDeD18CNnOOOJ6iV8MxiWMJ4p3cJteq0ze8cQNiof__-whlU/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+241.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tina was feeling bulletproof and decided to do something really outrageous. She's a regular Evel Knievel.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPeJBUofkSHL7NJy6A1bS8IP6OdGq3djhJRTcKY4SGeilXCxZoRTCtwnumWZa_io0WnSOGv_mBVpKTeQdHsdlQcqsjV6Ha20D9gyPUGBcpYM29jwRTZrUo_ctgK32Y2fnFnI1TmfUGE-g/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+242.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPeJBUofkSHL7NJy6A1bS8IP6OdGq3djhJRTcKY4SGeilXCxZoRTCtwnumWZa_io0WnSOGv_mBVpKTeQdHsdlQcqsjV6Ha20D9gyPUGBcpYM29jwRTZrUo_ctgK32Y2fnFnI1TmfUGE-g/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+242.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We took a short cab ride downtown to do some shopping and I saw these great Blackety Ann dolls. I assume that the the Blackety Andy dolls are in prison.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUDoBvsPROrZ-z_tmG9p66TAsNF44OiborUYe29xhzqkREKxN7cxaN7nclrH9i_WJjfBvAXUDwBl_9do-fe9zWxrFIJ80btEXPYQSbC3CMDYC8Fjlt33ZUuaDw5k6zvUQkxtb5cn4Rd18/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+249.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; color: black;"></span></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUDoBvsPROrZ-z_tmG9p66TAsNF44OiborUYe29xhzqkREKxN7cxaN7nclrH9i_WJjfBvAXUDwBl_9do-fe9zWxrFIJ80btEXPYQSbC3CMDYC8Fjlt33ZUuaDw5k6zvUQkxtb5cn4Rd18/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+249.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUDoBvsPROrZ-z_tmG9p66TAsNF44OiborUYe29xhzqkREKxN7cxaN7nclrH9i_WJjfBvAXUDwBl_9do-fe9zWxrFIJ80btEXPYQSbC3CMDYC8Fjlt33ZUuaDw5k6zvUQkxtb5cn4Rd18/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+249.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After relieving ourselves of rum punch in this 5-star bathroom...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEharL3PO5PnE_tCoNBLrzkYHSm9AB58ddxMHiS0MYGiZkivt2suL1iFilGZyhqS-FbeTBCxLwrbccB67UNhUzwVGdmf2axKiiUyQ4oZXtcyyRcevUzj_ztGF6CSXUYrX1l3_1HadfJy5iA/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+250.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEharL3PO5PnE_tCoNBLrzkYHSm9AB58ddxMHiS0MYGiZkivt2suL1iFilGZyhqS-FbeTBCxLwrbccB67UNhUzwVGdmf2axKiiUyQ4oZXtcyyRcevUzj_ztGF6CSXUYrX1l3_1HadfJy5iA/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+250.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...we sampled some of the local brew.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf4_RKea3a32-iDbO33fyNkAen67n6-bJJbi6qV1BUoezagnYmIyQvX8W72cfFVUalMsabU0rA2BFRtBV00luMjjzXoOg0G13hrPu11noNtmwXutrZnLwYXTqBbKAvY6Yh-MLb7FhwKC0/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+251.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf4_RKea3a32-iDbO33fyNkAen67n6-bJJbi6qV1BUoezagnYmIyQvX8W72cfFVUalMsabU0rA2BFRtBV00luMjjzXoOg0G13hrPu11noNtmwXutrZnLwYXTqBbKAvY6Yh-MLb7FhwKC0/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+251.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">How does a piss warm shot of rum sound?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjcIIPqQV5nDisVMGdftM9xbFhfjs5GvzNeV4kyi2oGvHcAcbaGjvygdW-C_ovLddoJ-vnlZduz1OsdR3kVflbiQwqKKhy_JrAzWx5SUUWICZXZ_KKVIlmAFqBlXKladhWeaPwJ98Kjh4/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+254.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjcIIPqQV5nDisVMGdftM9xbFhfjs5GvzNeV4kyi2oGvHcAcbaGjvygdW-C_ovLddoJ-vnlZduz1OsdR3kVflbiQwqKKhy_JrAzWx5SUUWICZXZ_KKVIlmAFqBlXKladhWeaPwJ98Kjh4/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+254.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With some ice cold banana daquiris in our bellies, we headed back to the ship for some hot tub action and a long nap to sleep off the alcohol. We awoke at 6 pm, pulled our bottle of champagne out of the ice...and put it in our luggage. Neither of us wanted any more booze or to even leave the room for that matter. Instead we packed our bags, grabbed some pizza and burgers, and spent the last night aboard the cruise snuggling in our bed.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Day 9 - 3/7 - Coming Home</i></b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Up at 6am, quick shower, breakfast, off the ship at 8:15, and at San Juan International Airport by 9am with 2 hours to spare before our 11am flight.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I didn't pay any attention to the airport the first time around, but now that we got to spend some time there, I have to say that it's pretty disgusting. They must have exported all the good maids, tile installers, drywallers, and painters. I didn't want to set my carry on down for fear that it would become part of the floor. It's as if maintenance said "instead of remodeling, why don't we just cover the floor with millions of pieces of chewed up gum and rub dried boogers on the walls?" But I digress...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We boarded the plane, me at the window, Tina in the middle, and Puerto Rican "Precious" next to her. This girl was so big that in the event of a water landing we could have used her as a floatation device. Luckily, she moved to the back before takeoff, which is good because it's unlikely that the nose of the plane would have gotten off the ground had she stayed up front with us. But enough about that "cerda". It's spanish, look it up.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Right now we're cruising at 33,000 ft, and watching "The Blind Side". And while it should never have been nominated for Best Picture over "500 days of Summer", it's not terrible, and Sandra Bullock will win Best Actress.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm hoping we get home in time for the 2:30 game between the Magic and the LA Lakers. I predict that Kobe Bryant will miss a last second shot and the Magic will win 96-94.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So I guess that's about it. I'm certain that's there's things I've forgotten, but overall it was a great trip. If you would like to read more Chad and Tina travel misadventures, please send us money and we will book more vacations. Or at least click on a couple of those Google ads on the left side of the screen. Seriously though, send us money...and aloe.</span></div>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-36168216630580726232010-03-10T19:48:00.000-05:002010-03-10T19:48:29.170-05:00Chad and Tina cruise the Southern Caribbean (Part 2 of 3)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Previously, on Chad and Tina cruise the Southern Carribbean: </span><a href="http://floridachad.blogspot.com/2010/03/chad-and-tina-cruise-southern-caribbean.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">http://floridachad.blogspot.com/2010/03/chad-and-tina-cruise-southern-caribbean.html</span></a><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">(This is the part where you pretend we have a really cool photo montage set to some badass music, like in CSI:Miami. YEAHHHH!!!!!!!!)</span></i><br />
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Day 4 - 3/2 - Aruba</span></span></i></b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After another restless night's sleep on what I believe to be a bed of nails with a sheet over it, we got cleaned up before breakfast. One of the best things about the staterooms on cruise ships are the efficient bathrooms. Where else can you wash your hair WHILE taking a dump?</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPYh_L-4R82I_lMfDsLaW7K9zVluUIWY0IfvoIfFEtTlT-6crLczi1DjOTjYAzS059w-h6haEGBM9iRq1EhbBbVbCdCVR5Ecj-QHkUDW96Z0WsU5zNiAsQE19nGKQaksjTvkwePq0tBNs/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+062.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPYh_L-4R82I_lMfDsLaW7K9zVluUIWY0IfvoIfFEtTlT-6crLczi1DjOTjYAzS059w-h6haEGBM9iRq1EhbBbVbCdCVR5Ecj-QHkUDW96Z0WsU5zNiAsQE19nGKQaksjTvkwePq0tBNs/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+062.JPG" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Then it's on to the buffet for another heart healthy meal.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9l9SHp80pzKmluIJCkZatc79JnYRofTF987FWJDkuhfYhYQ0VO57BRr1Q6wW0zm5B6Rf5i4_0MJY4vfRNhyphenhyphenw4CKq7dRxHCpFb1O7Scxe14-rD-PcoTo_Cjydz3HgazMkMfQEqrydpI-0/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+064.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9l9SHp80pzKmluIJCkZatc79JnYRofTF987FWJDkuhfYhYQ0VO57BRr1Q6wW0zm5B6Rf5i4_0MJY4vfRNhyphenhyphenw4CKq7dRxHCpFb1O7Scxe14-rD-PcoTo_Cjydz3HgazMkMfQEqrydpI-0/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+064.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To quote Chris Rock, "I'll eat a pig's ass if they cook it right!"</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We disembarked the ship for some shopping in the capital city of Oranjestad.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU9mf31A-SA-z5-N5RqEjve3sadNOjVu2OLMIeDNMl4FRaK03TQ90jKPF3vrDgQTzK4byuk94C4SFhPG6jcYrs7SCezIBBJTrr8PyusEsO0POHIKL0Jvwx7oL8g9K8rIdpR3wiw_gzLbc/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+065.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU9mf31A-SA-z5-N5RqEjve3sadNOjVu2OLMIeDNMl4FRaK03TQ90jKPF3vrDgQTzK4byuk94C4SFhPG6jcYrs7SCezIBBJTrr8PyusEsO0POHIKL0Jvwx7oL8g9K8rIdpR3wiw_gzLbc/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+065.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Awww, look at this adorable little goat-horned figurine.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvtnYxVqqM9eo21elBuP70CzQyR2ELR9M0THXybGMmE9VY4nsw6WXcIx63KsGMORnsDX9uDlcP06tTs7USqI85s_T0Hya2bH8NLiNH8bRMtCSIA-Eoswkk41XcqxK7KYkpl3t1L-2akuU/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+066.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvtnYxVqqM9eo21elBuP70CzQyR2ELR9M0THXybGMmE9VY4nsw6WXcIx63KsGMORnsDX9uDlcP06tTs7USqI85s_T0Hya2bH8NLiNH8bRMtCSIA-Eoswkk41XcqxK7KYkpl3t1L-2akuU/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+066.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm just gonna pick it up and take a closer look and OHMYGOD HE'S GOT A KNIFE!!!!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCCs8VjCCYg6IrmEreNOSzZEnSTbonR7Qz0nGW13bsKNxSfmDelUC3SgCXf2UEKYLUcllVmVrMx4X3abFApvXK1B0MC9K8VJIcdcNWNcjOajioDqdON86N0_kFJ9Dic6QYumI1-c3VXIw/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+067.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCCs8VjCCYg6IrmEreNOSzZEnSTbonR7Qz0nGW13bsKNxSfmDelUC3SgCXf2UEKYLUcllVmVrMx4X3abFApvXK1B0MC9K8VJIcdcNWNcjOajioDqdON86N0_kFJ9Dic6QYumI1-c3VXIw/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+067.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To ease our nerves, we made a quick stop at Senor Frogs for a morning daquiri. How adorable are we?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaolNRUxr_C5PgUP1whP8MXotTpvU-T0ocxM7cDdPCOt4mn9ONbEU_yFira-jnrLKy9xUI6aCHuZSsr6xYJfxxbrMmfxeXoVGjrCTP9tWEGYavsSdiqqq8O6vK9TZSbstkLJ674V5dHMs/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+070.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaolNRUxr_C5PgUP1whP8MXotTpvU-T0ocxM7cDdPCOt4mn9ONbEU_yFira-jnrLKy9xUI6aCHuZSsr6xYJfxxbrMmfxeXoVGjrCTP9tWEGYavsSdiqqq8O6vK9TZSbstkLJ674V5dHMs/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+070.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy5vOKxdcYoZtmnC2HMS_ddmeBiR2qQ1BoyTgQtDLHWti7z4xI1n6BfCCyunPjVRHI4oDf82eNOossIkPSjEyikQySeS_LGur0VXuGnM5Nc87W6u-29VKw8zq6XRl5oQH8R1sufalh48M/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+071.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy5vOKxdcYoZtmnC2HMS_ddmeBiR2qQ1BoyTgQtDLHWti7z4xI1n6BfCCyunPjVRHI4oDf82eNOossIkPSjEyikQySeS_LGur0VXuGnM5Nc87W6u-29VKw8zq6XRl5oQH8R1sufalh48M/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+071.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Next, we took a $15 cab ride to Palm Beach. The beach was extremely crowded and it was really windy out so it wasn't really that enjoyable. I'm quite certain that I'm peeing in the ocean here.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkbkrTtFI5AuYq91ZAgGnEYN61L3sBpi5IWowt2vCTTAEtI_ajBD9VHxrqUI43rlX67bp101IbUBjV9MWoo7hBJ7-C2QxnaYTrHbeAK8mjyFJJCs56FZphliG_qC43ZeJcXHCdf_jqsSs/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+072.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkbkrTtFI5AuYq91ZAgGnEYN61L3sBpi5IWowt2vCTTAEtI_ajBD9VHxrqUI43rlX67bp101IbUBjV9MWoo7hBJ7-C2QxnaYTrHbeAK8mjyFJJCs56FZphliG_qC43ZeJcXHCdf_jqsSs/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+072.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After a couple hours, we headed back downtown. On a tip from a fellow traveler, we took the bus back. It only cost $2.60. The lesson here: Bus>Taxi. While waiting for the bus to arrive, I got a can of the local beer, "Balashi," which is the same word that Tina's used for years to describe my manhood. I'm starting to believe that she's not being complimentary.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM60D5srGi7R1SCz__CMQ0T-8RK4HBOp3GR0F9HgqqwtdZNhtksG7YZQu3f8Su6lqgJf7y0thFXhUBRRJm8G9DTBaQ6wXuvmK8xacUE9GWO1zu0uxhlCjEA-f3OhRBQi6XydKIVCzXpF0/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+075.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM60D5srGi7R1SCz__CMQ0T-8RK4HBOp3GR0F9HgqqwtdZNhtksG7YZQu3f8Su6lqgJf7y0thFXhUBRRJm8G9DTBaQ6wXuvmK8xacUE9GWO1zu0uxhlCjEA-f3OhRBQi6XydKIVCzXpF0/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+075.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We went back to Senor Frogs for a few more cocktails. Our last one was called a "Poison Frog" which contains 4-5 types of liquor topped off with red wine. I've had erections that weren't this stiff.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi8rYCZtT08qm_I-Wxhil6oBoACm9aDOVCHpJCtKq4cH4GintFLGNvTCBtAnfO_esXocyOvrwegb7Dz_7LpIt6YKQIcil0DW7MsINWHiegV_gdg__MLHQVbX0Hl7whErGNPWlz3QhgG64/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+076.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi8rYCZtT08qm_I-Wxhil6oBoACm9aDOVCHpJCtKq4cH4GintFLGNvTCBtAnfO_esXocyOvrwegb7Dz_7LpIt6YKQIcil0DW7MsINWHiegV_gdg__MLHQVbX0Hl7whErGNPWlz3QhgG64/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+076.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tina bought that hat on the island. It appears to be equipped with a built-in maxipad, so she's got that going for her, which is nice.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-Av2agsDTuuVMgPVymAVccCbV7pL1Fp7d1nYDMWDqvdKCF2Lw7Ve8qVdt-nFxjubT6pmJ3kSEBcRJxE-2j2OTVi2DxDKJVNZkpKIdcs3UOfMywJ6U_iqL0pO9MvoUP0dyq7cqrBe0O0o/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+086.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-Av2agsDTuuVMgPVymAVccCbV7pL1Fp7d1nYDMWDqvdKCF2Lw7Ve8qVdt-nFxjubT6pmJ3kSEBcRJxE-2j2OTVi2DxDKJVNZkpKIdcs3UOfMywJ6U_iqL0pO9MvoUP0dyq7cqrBe0O0o/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+086.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We bought a bottle of red wine and a 6-pack of Amstel Light, then went back to the ship and took a nap. That night, we had the Bavarian-themed dinner in the buffet. It was a total sausagefest.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjooHPWvDy8lbEA7nxJ3h5MPd27pQntTs63rZFMz9YG5VgZV-HqnnCwb_Vml6gnXHVzJ7vJhmsH1g1JnR_HrwHc5Ixl3ZOCZCS3-Fi0M2T2pXxzclV6tEZwVNmLVVyz8tmw9S42ZR33sjU/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+081.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjooHPWvDy8lbEA7nxJ3h5MPd27pQntTs63rZFMz9YG5VgZV-HqnnCwb_Vml6gnXHVzJ7vJhmsH1g1JnR_HrwHc5Ixl3ZOCZCS3-Fi0M2T2pXxzclV6tEZwVNmLVVyz8tmw9S42ZR33sjU/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+081.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Wow, they actually HAVE pig's ass...AND they cooked it right.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgooODuLx9MhK4hyphenhyphenreyqAQ5Ra8gNAWeya_CvQPgc-w3AHxqusHnvD1mtX6eOCwkcQC48Qv3kJDcPB9lsDXLBMozG-aelFjmzRytOOjvKNKiFi57DIKCDmHTrL9RN0Hskvn3eFTPhzyUR5s/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+082.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgooODuLx9MhK4hyphenhyphenreyqAQ5Ra8gNAWeya_CvQPgc-w3AHxqusHnvD1mtX6eOCwkcQC48Qv3kJDcPB9lsDXLBMozG-aelFjmzRytOOjvKNKiFi57DIKCDmHTrL9RN0Hskvn3eFTPhzyUR5s/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+082.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We went to two shows that evening. The first was Fernandez, "America's premiere comedy hypnotist." Not only wasn't he funny, but he failed to hypnotize most of the folks on stage. He did, however, succeed in convincing many audience members to walk out. Well done, sir.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The second was "hilarious comedian" Cary Long. The moment they announced him as a "5-time winner of Star Search", I looked at Tina and groaned. That show hasn't been on the air in 15 years, and that's your claim to fame?! Time to retire; him from comedy and us to our stateroom.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Day 5 - 3/3 - Bonaire, Netherlands Antilles</span></span></i></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The name of this island makes me giggle like an 7th grader learning about reproduction. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTFfM-7zCj9ozKPDnO8sXPFIUMeRQ0djZ-iBvGEwx_tfckqRco-DwBn5Q2A1Agef-IqDMG-s90xYKrddN_OC1igbx-eFcOY4Ws4beWl2KlneljBHjML2udkbqsl3hKiwAC2lYQ7TIJ1Io/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+087.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTFfM-7zCj9ozKPDnO8sXPFIUMeRQ0djZ-iBvGEwx_tfckqRco-DwBn5Q2A1Agef-IqDMG-s90xYKrddN_OC1igbx-eFcOY4Ws4beWl2KlneljBHjML2udkbqsl3hKiwAC2lYQ7TIJ1Io/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+087.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's pronouced Bow-Nair, as in "Sacre Bleu! That beautiful mademoiselle is giving me a Bonaire!"</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The last time we were on this island, Tina retired from scuba diving because of difficulties equalizing the air pressure in her ears at depth. It's unfortunate because it's one the world's top diving destinations. Here's the beach where she quit last time:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIhPzojiuVpcNX0EbXCMs9qDx5visl0PGZhIH7jb-8ZLC18I0_WhHNUNaztItAO5AbQGy16J-jVcQ8xvh-K-1ymwqb6mGww-YogxDfCeLhH7_tMohHfxpNvBftEFDIkNZMjiWRP8QxRBw/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+099.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIhPzojiuVpcNX0EbXCMs9qDx5visl0PGZhIH7jb-8ZLC18I0_WhHNUNaztItAO5AbQGy16J-jVcQ8xvh-K-1ymwqb6mGww-YogxDfCeLhH7_tMohHfxpNvBftEFDIkNZMjiWRP8QxRBw/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+099.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We did a bit of shopping, grabbed a daquiri, and walked along the beach.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggPbX5NTNvz_qQkH_vnv0scC8y9iDAI5scmZ3qXq5roKlSncPI98zf-Dy3MJohDnQ8LgTUI-GKff0nIG3Mzb4BO-_bVIc4bXsnTzNZqe_QILI18dhZBH6souJvhDlkL4eM0xXnNBtgrDE/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+083.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggPbX5NTNvz_qQkH_vnv0scC8y9iDAI5scmZ3qXq5roKlSncPI98zf-Dy3MJohDnQ8LgTUI-GKff0nIG3Mzb4BO-_bVIc4bXsnTzNZqe_QILI18dhZBH6souJvhDlkL4eM0xXnNBtgrDE/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+083.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Since this was an early departure day and there wasn't alot to do in town, we headed back to the ship, but not before spotting this old man at an internet cafe...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzuZYwg7CoVIN9FBBGlfe2iLthZwSTOPq2tXZzn579-ofrD_tRyBlmPbvK6tHXiuWGYZ3Ioxj51UdycGjcg5pJAkhXbg8s3_tNFoHjY7XytSnAZM_dkE05fvhMIVNKWzzc_Qhkjb_r7o8/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+085.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzuZYwg7CoVIN9FBBGlfe2iLthZwSTOPq2tXZzn579-ofrD_tRyBlmPbvK6tHXiuWGYZ3Ioxj51UdycGjcg5pJAkhXbg8s3_tNFoHjY7XytSnAZM_dkE05fvhMIVNKWzzc_Qhkjb_r7o8/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+085.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...playing Farmville. So sad.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We got back on the ship in time to watch the ice carving demonstration. The sculptors begin with two 300+lb ice blocks...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrCzH_67XQMcx13dPsEIp3K7VoOGsaHXPjaObjbWIh85bTqec8hZddBr3Bxw_MmqIbG6aPcjgT6Lr8TC1M62I5-ZDkAleXUK5IUHLUcwPZU-xbSQFQc_PInJ2VQZDNvdBO2A7sbYv5ywk/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+088.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrCzH_67XQMcx13dPsEIp3K7VoOGsaHXPjaObjbWIh85bTqec8hZddBr3Bxw_MmqIbG6aPcjgT6Lr8TC1M62I5-ZDkAleXUK5IUHLUcwPZU-xbSQFQc_PInJ2VQZDNvdBO2A7sbYv5ywk/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+088.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and started chiseling them down...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkD_ydmEHYTNEu4idSdfI42wLH4Iano6w1Koe4yr1m-IcMFjUjx3bvEzcZzHYMUKdQpN74oO7fGqIdRLJA3G8O776gwTbQo_VyN45ZxZ_m6ptXr3kIWLfdcdqB6u1mDCEWFxEs8dWiJWQ/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+089.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkD_ydmEHYTNEu4idSdfI42wLH4Iano6w1Koe4yr1m-IcMFjUjx3bvEzcZzHYMUKdQpN74oO7fGqIdRLJA3G8O776gwTbQo_VyN45ZxZ_m6ptXr3kIWLfdcdqB6u1mDCEWFxEs8dWiJWQ/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+089.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOFWLUzJgdnRVj4n5cRWfPtwcOftE3h1Ycn19solK84i9q0Z7BBzVnAR8WZuYzBIdr0XTXSwRYnvImtL-9HSuuAUqHSy801wCDEkBw525FTLdXfeQWMSICPjM0z2i4czHFD1spn9T-frw/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+090.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOFWLUzJgdnRVj4n5cRWfPtwcOftE3h1Ycn19solK84i9q0Z7BBzVnAR8WZuYzBIdr0XTXSwRYnvImtL-9HSuuAUqHSy801wCDEkBw525FTLdXfeQWMSICPjM0z2i4czHFD1spn9T-frw/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+090.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...to a finished sculpture.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFMFW42wOBSRghEtpNsLIAm6XhcqPmjUVsY_2tEMLn89hUFsWVPrytWgX4dia_kqE0LYtZMWVbFaMPJrDl4fiFmop4eMj4xjHnvizlQmtbmcoNN8hfQ6FAzfdRDP-bx4xoXaj2cv2OzXI/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+096.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFMFW42wOBSRghEtpNsLIAm6XhcqPmjUVsY_2tEMLn89hUFsWVPrytWgX4dia_kqE0LYtZMWVbFaMPJrDl4fiFmop4eMj4xjHnvizlQmtbmcoNN8hfQ6FAzfdRDP-bx4xoXaj2cv2OzXI/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+096.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3LlbhUUzU5L2dBFTivEIVZHDgrAq65SNYI0vfluwrr3C4emoJFmC7dDqIf4zpDPONuNig3lqeltkSIqewMSZJBAVHFjYKECtUWcG16Q_UGEndxRZ32WYVUVmFuHJPp3un32Alk2RSFgo/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+097.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3LlbhUUzU5L2dBFTivEIVZHDgrAq65SNYI0vfluwrr3C4emoJFmC7dDqIf4zpDPONuNig3lqeltkSIqewMSZJBAVHFjYKECtUWcG16Q_UGEndxRZ32WYVUVmFuHJPp3un32Alk2RSFgo/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+097.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Unfortunately, we failed to elect a Pope while onboard.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXYi_y8zkVoKo97DKpBfX81sqCRs77JWixkP-FhCOEAprhw36NKDrouqgucOhIetY7l2zTtwrRn5mcCQD1XmaUE8NN3sdVBUdxep-HfpkQt6FLrmghWg16snlzt1R3RWW3S9zCOJIRmc/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+091.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXYi_y8zkVoKo97DKpBfX81sqCRs77JWixkP-FhCOEAprhw36NKDrouqgucOhIetY7l2zTtwrRn5mcCQD1XmaUE8NN3sdVBUdxep-HfpkQt6FLrmghWg16snlzt1R3RWW3S9zCOJIRmc/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+091.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Bonaire (hee-hee) is a big exporter of sea salt. I believe half of this is used to season the food at Macaroni Grill.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpQ7HH4cYFoxXSXGPxnmTF9r7YPwInRQ7_XRqXY7dvOtLHNN6LQh47O4-RzDxf3uvD0Y0oaMLK51k7sO7KVGOyBHaoELKkYSYc1A8yZKSpjdySkbBOE0vGGTR2tktFxAVw2LiBL-DgX3Q/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+101.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpQ7HH4cYFoxXSXGPxnmTF9r7YPwInRQ7_XRqXY7dvOtLHNN6LQh47O4-RzDxf3uvD0Y0oaMLK51k7sO7KVGOyBHaoELKkYSYc1A8yZKSpjdySkbBOE0vGGTR2tktFxAVw2LiBL-DgX3Q/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+101.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I wish I had some of that salt now so I could rub it into my eyes.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2H5VEJFEKM4NYLyRwQzJCVV955ZurA-b3XcDxEh2cwQCy-yk84ntHFl_tU3gUbKygV3sd2j3Up-_bcXFbfMG61c0xqqYaOOegVF2Um3zpLAZmQ7QvM6vgfxVBQWIosTI4TDD-ZHyp6Y4/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+102.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2H5VEJFEKM4NYLyRwQzJCVV955ZurA-b3XcDxEh2cwQCy-yk84ntHFl_tU3gUbKygV3sd2j3Up-_bcXFbfMG61c0xqqYaOOegVF2Um3zpLAZmQ7QvM6vgfxVBQWIosTI4TDD-ZHyp6Y4/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+102.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We went below deck for another trivia beat down followed up by another waste of $20 at Tina's favorite.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4WShBrSIjSzEu3_-uQOp6HmGuf0N49kb_nr3U4ftKclDoupk1qmuA5_i5oGjIG41ZCvz1OiFQgVohyYXnOed2WXPxUlbPLoj5wIjiduJfHGjrJKv0_7cKHXgpwa-1WMV2LLN-wX6Sfg4/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+103.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4WShBrSIjSzEu3_-uQOp6HmGuf0N49kb_nr3U4ftKclDoupk1qmuA5_i5oGjIG41ZCvz1OiFQgVohyYXnOed2WXPxUlbPLoj5wIjiduJfHGjrJKv0_7cKHXgpwa-1WMV2LLN-wX6Sfg4/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+103.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Feeling dejected on this winless cruise yet elated with alcohol, Tina and I shower up, eat dinner, and go to an invitation only Captain's cocktail party for return customers. Tina met the Captain...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj35Pbxa_G7WDN2hfqS7Ajq2rseJGLPMRHG99K7P0ji_2hizDl58nqYnSMhAq-OspKz6vjbyaKCTws4lhT-qYJP-aRoKoZSRDU5vlsUCuRbfCW6AGXyeox60gjMhvLKpkmopDlnvEPb-tQ/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+105.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj35Pbxa_G7WDN2hfqS7Ajq2rseJGLPMRHG99K7P0ji_2hizDl58nqYnSMhAq-OspKz6vjbyaKCTws4lhT-qYJP-aRoKoZSRDU5vlsUCuRbfCW6AGXyeox60gjMhvLKpkmopDlnvEPb-tQ/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+105.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and I won a raffle for a bottle of champagne.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRLfyqzYORqimQN1Dw_aQokKI7Bpg9cB_ORBdiwOmlO2uXCBItcqAhuy8zs03pmTUCC2dsyPEc48bjssZghfPJMQr9t-IZrwgSEq4QK9u0iP_0kqnx0ZCzQ0zAgdU-aQff28bXVHArzX4/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+115.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRLfyqzYORqimQN1Dw_aQokKI7Bpg9cB_ORBdiwOmlO2uXCBItcqAhuy8zs03pmTUCC2dsyPEc48bjssZghfPJMQr9t-IZrwgSEq4QK9u0iP_0kqnx0ZCzQ0zAgdU-aQff28bXVHArzX4/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+115.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Next, we played the Passenger Family Feud gameshow onstage and destroyed every team we played. Our prize? Another bottle of champagne!! Time to get drunk...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6lu-mlAc1w2iE4aB3w6QgqAqBA0Y9bflmtw113pXCV4ZqdF2t4iIX3kP8eRgeVshYmjrWUk5gTbhcGLu8ytd6GKXWF4W0xKaGpaCsPWn7FVQSOvCXXTfktX2nSeEHtTNxT2qBZu3Fsd0/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+107.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6lu-mlAc1w2iE4aB3w6QgqAqBA0Y9bflmtw113pXCV4ZqdF2t4iIX3kP8eRgeVshYmjrWUk5gTbhcGLu8ytd6GKXWF4W0xKaGpaCsPWn7FVQSOvCXXTfktX2nSeEHtTNxT2qBZu3Fsd0/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+107.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWNbmRthq7KdQ4RXaz6aXT_fU0wzgDm586JZg7AZCKaYfp1p8cUxUiamggEb7ReApmTqWSjC9rRG8Ogk8xue6cWBpcjjCT31S3zcoaRXyepLtGGWJKMlRbQYGDBZJo985pr8_TPjmdydw/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+109.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWNbmRthq7KdQ4RXaz6aXT_fU0wzgDm586JZg7AZCKaYfp1p8cUxUiamggEb7ReApmTqWSjC9rRG8Ogk8xue6cWBpcjjCT31S3zcoaRXyepLtGGWJKMlRbQYGDBZJo985pr8_TPjmdydw/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+109.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDQEp-eoCGrDp5KoYUlH4Mjw2RzlPXwRS6kpkGjZdkMiiYZ11hHxFgk-3yI6JC5FgzbEMhY_ejuOH4ekASFDquMb2w9XJ_qoDTmigCBKePpf0Kwv8-lv9YX0h4TivNs0EdbFI1RawJ7-w/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+108.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDQEp-eoCGrDp5KoYUlH4Mjw2RzlPXwRS6kpkGjZdkMiiYZ11hHxFgk-3yI6JC5FgzbEMhY_ejuOH4ekASFDquMb2w9XJ_qoDTmigCBKePpf0Kwv8-lv9YX0h4TivNs0EdbFI1RawJ7-w/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+108.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and check out some more produce sculptures...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhScYC70ja52U338Wdo4x7RUiRIwqaUJ5nMen8zaKj_hCGJrRoS9BFZ8M7q74wggH0-sYtB9OccUydHpL4ur1YmwHEwZGyduria4Sa74kqULhMWpoa9YUrm1jDS5veAQrB0dODSSpZnvhs/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+110.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhScYC70ja52U338Wdo4x7RUiRIwqaUJ5nMen8zaKj_hCGJrRoS9BFZ8M7q74wggH0-sYtB9OccUydHpL4ur1YmwHEwZGyduria4Sa74kqULhMWpoa9YUrm1jDS5veAQrB0dODSSpZnvhs/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+110.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ1AlSiXQluMHJZICLcIWIdV0QlDJNiF-TeZU29uaDMdSHBa67V4Ee7zfnHiHPXvpza3bZCMhh10AOJ6nVRrs9pKnhUuRsyVcGMi5LRU5Kqc7e2aS1TEeFF_dww04GeMJ2WQGoD2po1Q4/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+114.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ1AlSiXQluMHJZICLcIWIdV0QlDJNiF-TeZU29uaDMdSHBa67V4Ee7zfnHiHPXvpza3bZCMhh10AOJ6nVRrs9pKnhUuRsyVcGMi5LRU5Kqc7e2aS1TEeFF_dww04GeMJ2WQGoD2po1Q4/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+114.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...before this creepy eggplant baby scared us away...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAMmUELRjnIUOpkT3QDGcJnlIsXbBbbuFiTitsVfc72vsoFYJUWPG9Bpufsb46n9MDzga8guDJEXEE6sNKilujWZ12pf8l61suSWGdafq1KhivMbJmsq4A1Wy9Uy01pwDJIZ6et0EfCLk/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+112.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAMmUELRjnIUOpkT3QDGcJnlIsXbBbbuFiTitsVfc72vsoFYJUWPG9Bpufsb46n9MDzga8guDJEXEE6sNKilujWZ12pf8l61suSWGdafq1KhivMbJmsq4A1Wy9Uy01pwDJIZ6et0EfCLk/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+112.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and we wound up at the top deck for a PARTY!!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRBX-cVXGIFXxN4lUbAe39eoXcYjU1Tb04YT_HVfWOBwIaKuMqkd7Y3oCWGCdr1kAiyzZVh6R4pRw6i9j-7lFMEe5zcZ-l1kG-cs3exxmk-QQ4qBTWK7v12HXeRyPg3vRkNzhTeG37GlI/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+118.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRBX-cVXGIFXxN4lUbAe39eoXcYjU1Tb04YT_HVfWOBwIaKuMqkd7Y3oCWGCdr1kAiyzZVh6R4pRw6i9j-7lFMEe5zcZ-l1kG-cs3exxmk-QQ4qBTWK7v12HXeRyPg3vRkNzhTeG37GlI/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+118.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0YexdgEarBjFYaJmiejNCwOB1uJb0r1MfuB1L6j0WqaDt8msifgxlhSlyUsDaIpRGgwOlXV286gPgchMXJ4Yf4iLJLLG8oYnbilkZ_rFpm7IdJh5TbOyvvp_B5beMbuILo5C5d66Owxg/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+125.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0YexdgEarBjFYaJmiejNCwOB1uJb0r1MfuB1L6j0WqaDt8msifgxlhSlyUsDaIpRGgwOlXV286gPgchMXJ4Yf4iLJLLG8oYnbilkZ_rFpm7IdJh5TbOyvvp_B5beMbuILo5C5d66Owxg/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+125.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We drunkenly stumble back to our rooms with a plate full of snacks. The rest is a none of your business (wink).</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Day 6 - 3/4 - Grenada</span></i></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_3veBON52a2n1-tLMHNd8uq7nzaigNkngcw-BsijcTj0D8odmnvlQHALHCJgq-RkSDHnVH85-PRRxaQjJVCKKbjU3wrnXwD_n8pS-x8ByQujwhq6rAdJ-wP0Vt79dSOMRB5pvQoL6YGs/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+127.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_3veBON52a2n1-tLMHNd8uq7nzaigNkngcw-BsijcTj0D8odmnvlQHALHCJgq-RkSDHnVH85-PRRxaQjJVCKKbjU3wrnXwD_n8pS-x8ByQujwhq6rAdJ-wP0Vt79dSOMRB5pvQoL6YGs/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+127.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Pronounced "grah-NAY-dah", which is coincidental because this island should be blown up. We'd been here before and found the vendors to be very aggressive. They'll grab you and pull you towards their wares, and you have to yell at them "LOOK! I didn't travel 500 nautical miles to buy your fucking nutmeg! PISS OFF!!"</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With that in mind, we decided against going into town and instead booked our first shore excursion, which of course was a "booze cruise." Here's the boat that we hopped on:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbczNEFuUQN62zxR6W8fzjb1LmgCxWwuz_uV26ZQcklfcwAbJ_TskObJxDkwzSvMTtEePJ5YOFclvenlobtzPqsSFgqs0VuLPNFuNj-u3Vv0TqJ6DuuV6-MvUWhLxLfFe27NtKm0-p8LQ/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+131.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbczNEFuUQN62zxR6W8fzjb1LmgCxWwuz_uV26ZQcklfcwAbJ_TskObJxDkwzSvMTtEePJ5YOFclvenlobtzPqsSFgqs0VuLPNFuNj-u3Vv0TqJ6DuuV6-MvUWhLxLfFe27NtKm0-p8LQ/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+131.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The crew began handing out rum punch right away. Tina did not like it at all because it was flavored with nutmeg, and instead grabbed a beer. I wasn't a big fan of the punch either, but after the first 3-4 glasses, it was just lovely. We took a few photos on the way to a private beach...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOURwwUc8cuhuqFHmB8LVIogDvMCkK9uaYMWAhz5z0ocrMHJQ_kSQ4XnK4Fejl7tL9pYoV-igOqJvyoK779nrjbrtQReGmcXSpaOthCrl3wnGHGhxVvqN5OzN-Je3-IXq_I61ITngiSwY/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+132.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOURwwUc8cuhuqFHmB8LVIogDvMCkK9uaYMWAhz5z0ocrMHJQ_kSQ4XnK4Fejl7tL9pYoV-igOqJvyoK779nrjbrtQReGmcXSpaOthCrl3wnGHGhxVvqN5OzN-Je3-IXq_I61ITngiSwY/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+132.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYaDHKy_Kobaw54ut5IQk6WMmVMs5E_epzs9YLB5seZPols4y6zYdrZQ37FzG1ylHVkHRPnyDfGnTUMzjP1BqAPWy9DdnaQ4EEBxn220rCo24PocGwuVcjv6O2_Bebx6JxWM55zGCVeIQ/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+133.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYaDHKy_Kobaw54ut5IQk6WMmVMs5E_epzs9YLB5seZPols4y6zYdrZQ37FzG1ylHVkHRPnyDfGnTUMzjP1BqAPWy9DdnaQ4EEBxn220rCo24PocGwuVcjv6O2_Bebx6JxWM55zGCVeIQ/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+133.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...as Tina sipped on beer...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXjIk8NpN0b4bsA-GTepeHx6-YuVGVZb5s78SypgouaKrywNLzU11H0p_H8Yr3HlCUWxtMJpT53AdJVu_eUaK6YROZF__5e5gC0qlNILGP3SouquaU2AE8-LHznz0TipUBuzsf8DzTaEQ/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+136.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXjIk8NpN0b4bsA-GTepeHx6-YuVGVZb5s78SypgouaKrywNLzU11H0p_H8Yr3HlCUWxtMJpT53AdJVu_eUaK6YROZF__5e5gC0qlNILGP3SouquaU2AE8-LHznz0TipUBuzsf8DzTaEQ/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+136.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and we listened to the steel drum band.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDq_OBD6_z42C07mph47JI7fxa85zXARX5jdszX_tH9dTF_6MspTAgLr60ULh0UrcETD8raqcpi7gT3ANM0dWE1xvTQDBkimDKSu-0pTT-HGg9VE8Lbbp9QvEUY1H5mQ3j0D5SFADluRk/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+143.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDq_OBD6_z42C07mph47JI7fxa85zXARX5jdszX_tH9dTF_6MspTAgLr60ULh0UrcETD8raqcpi7gT3ANM0dWE1xvTQDBkimDKSu-0pTT-HGg9VE8Lbbp9QvEUY1H5mQ3j0D5SFADluRk/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+143.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We stayed at the beach for about 2 hours, splashing in the ocean as the crew was bringing trays full of rum punch off the boat and wading out to us in the waist high water. After about 10 drinks, I began calling our waiter "LeBron."</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimMWFLtglkm3RYRaYY8L-41qN1-8VBQgkE27w0CV4gBnGXO_BwASNaoubU2xizvbZPYlkXgKvWzLlqmcmfZyrAkPr8RUlPPxgTNL7nLkSuWTKLxupuR2MXUEm8iZ_TVjpPIFZPihdBiNQ/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+148.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimMWFLtglkm3RYRaYY8L-41qN1-8VBQgkE27w0CV4gBnGXO_BwASNaoubU2xizvbZPYlkXgKvWzLlqmcmfZyrAkPr8RUlPPxgTNL7nLkSuWTKLxupuR2MXUEm8iZ_TVjpPIFZPihdBiNQ/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+148.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And I think this lady was on Everybody Loves Raymond.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZr090hdF9NncQMEZ3eE990d2Bc9abIZ5uhs619ElmueidcQZfbRI3faxxmZyG569NBx77PhxjXPvP8xDrRrPYhQE12iTxmjU-uJB0ZlZUgvRWzHTQuzomDDjTJMQ1IYcdA9KNApeH9-Q/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+147.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZr090hdF9NncQMEZ3eE990d2Bc9abIZ5uhs619ElmueidcQZfbRI3faxxmZyG569NBx77PhxjXPvP8xDrRrPYhQE12iTxmjU-uJB0ZlZUgvRWzHTQuzomDDjTJMQ1IYcdA9KNApeH9-Q/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+147.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">On the way back to the cruise ship, all the drunken people starting doing the conga...</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOg3IklCvn7iAGuAXpM0bIUB8BTfAUnPZosk_QzkJoQ2jBjMdE0GFgYBMzEBuSjYcdiMNpuZ26GP_EY6Z6FdGQQI0Ea7PHptECHlOb83pgd-80xoiIviUpBS6a1gy1g-0EB6tFn4KuTsw/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+159.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOg3IklCvn7iAGuAXpM0bIUB8BTfAUnPZosk_QzkJoQ2jBjMdE0GFgYBMzEBuSjYcdiMNpuZ26GP_EY6Z6FdGQQI0Ea7PHptECHlOb83pgd-80xoiIviUpBS6a1gy1g-0EB6tFn4KuTsw/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+159.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...and the limbo.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8cgbPXQNnkO3PpKjFr2jauc4ruen8zO3pdHR1WV5QMQkfaVUfrdTQNWPCiJdlLTSXtQhylL4WVuvB8Zny3sMZl15M-WSQMo7W1jNPe91_y5AM1mojkSyNEzWZ8lK5jyZg-xvqbqEokM8/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+160.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8cgbPXQNnkO3PpKjFr2jauc4ruen8zO3pdHR1WV5QMQkfaVUfrdTQNWPCiJdlLTSXtQhylL4WVuvB8Zny3sMZl15M-WSQMo7W1jNPe91_y5AM1mojkSyNEzWZ8lK5jyZg-xvqbqEokM8/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+160.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrVHITV8jHaiGnLg30jyfYTS4miipBXYystz93AWBfOMd2hzPbNjzRQx8nPtsPjI8zvBPqvjiavREyF4Lox97e1CafAenQka6V_8gCgvI__1B9k0ETrjPdT_esIwDobib4gVyUytmlgJc/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+163.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrVHITV8jHaiGnLg30jyfYTS4miipBXYystz93AWBfOMd2hzPbNjzRQx8nPtsPjI8zvBPqvjiavREyF4Lox97e1CafAenQka6V_8gCgvI__1B9k0ETrjPdT_esIwDobib4gVyUytmlgJc/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+163.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1EGjS6xuQTko5fxeKY7aIAjyziBxL28ZbBUXb0SJhLxSxEYv4n4UHZC0GRJNA9VrdMALYmkJH7xXz1B2uK-8ArPcVXhPgXcbayQEEGZjq8QCJVXEqpQP1re5tM6E2alisMIJDTKYbqOs/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+167.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1EGjS6xuQTko5fxeKY7aIAjyziBxL28ZbBUXb0SJhLxSxEYv4n4UHZC0GRJNA9VrdMALYmkJH7xXz1B2uK-8ArPcVXhPgXcbayQEEGZjq8QCJVXEqpQP1re5tM6E2alisMIJDTKYbqOs/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+167.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Raise your hand if you're drunk!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf14ATeFFbuBDfvYJmbXyaGUgLt9FNyKbO13WPgCPNMkWiTVPqKLje1cvjbG2HOnZNsp1SfP1RSLWfkVUlCYgSHO-VJVEB2SF0KYxJ5lkhq_lHACO8IMiJ1PRuGD36kAdTeFPzWc5WLvU/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+170.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf14ATeFFbuBDfvYJmbXyaGUgLt9FNyKbO13WPgCPNMkWiTVPqKLje1cvjbG2HOnZNsp1SfP1RSLWfkVUlCYgSHO-VJVEB2SF0KYxJ5lkhq_lHACO8IMiJ1PRuGD36kAdTeFPzWc5WLvU/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+170.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We got back to the pier, high-fived our fellow booze-cruisers, and ambled back to our ship. We went to a wine and cheese tasting before drinking a bottle of cabernet with dinner and to be honest the rest of the evening was a blur. We did take this photo for some reason:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh7IjnOn-Nd7YrX13u0LRkenYV1HHJLYzKipoKS8tL0JEYpErC6aTl07mNco_dT6KV7MiB4aWWskCYMg9maE5_y5nS82YToJuJdKJvtpfPQXEBsVSGKfitIeAsSfm59l6MYUpcyrXg4Vk/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+188.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh7IjnOn-Nd7YrX13u0LRkenYV1HHJLYzKipoKS8tL0JEYpErC6aTl07mNco_dT6KV7MiB4aWWskCYMg9maE5_y5nS82YToJuJdKJvtpfPQXEBsVSGKfitIeAsSfm59l6MYUpcyrXg4Vk/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+188.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yeah, we definitely need to go to bed before we embarrass ourselves any further.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion on Friday...</span></span></span></b></i></div>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-9168002628811663652010-03-08T20:51:00.001-05:002010-03-08T20:56:31.053-05:00Chad and Tina cruise the Southern Caribbean (Part 1 of 3)<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px;">Tina received an email from Princess Cruises on February 19th in which they offered us a heavily discounted price to take a cruise because we were repeat customers. This trip normally costs nearly two grand, but they offered it to us for under eight hundred dollars. The catch was that the ships leaves out of San Juan, Puerto Rico on February 28th, which was a mere 9 days away. Since I still had the two free roundtrip airfares to anywhere JetBlue flies that I won at the Magic game last season, we booked it.</span></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tqqruQd5RsQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tqqruQd5RsQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br />
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<div style="text-align: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Day 1 - 2/27 - Travel Day:</span></span></i></b></span></div></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">On our way to the airport, we dropped off the kids for boarding: Vino, Guinness, and Liberty (not pictured). Vino shit all over the floor right after this picture. Good boy.</span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIk7BBSad_DdJl5zIWRMD0lessvF1jB7nCBp3Ktd265VHSTgVt2SMOr-AbGY-3G87byCAu_haouAHqu_m2bojL4SmSGuZ7XzzlZNSGiAVfayzpV1xdzS3vAjynqYb63jPt4MR7OB70mcA/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIk7BBSad_DdJl5zIWRMD0lessvF1jB7nCBp3Ktd265VHSTgVt2SMOr-AbGY-3G87byCAu_haouAHqu_m2bojL4SmSGuZ7XzzlZNSGiAVfayzpV1xdzS3vAjynqYb63jPt4MR7OB70mcA/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+001.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As we were sitting at our gate at Orlando International Airport, I spotted a Puerto Rican midget. I believe they prefer to be called "Specks". You may need to think about that one.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So we get on the plane, and after the seatbelt and emergency exit spiel, the flight attendant makes the announcement that there are baby stations in the washrooms and people should <b>NOT</b> change their child's diaper on their tray tables. Yeah, that's right...they actually had to <b>TELL</b> the passengers that this is frowned upon. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Besides the huge legroom, unlimited snacks and drinks, and the babyshit-stained tray tables, JetBlue also has live television.</span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6eTMckYlWJ94Vchqu0zU3iHwhLXGXlLNjh3y8NPWdk_bdMANj_QLAcPMuRsmaRGZjZEBJ-vPhMxBeUHzRGuRso_C7jQMWKQS5tb9QFF4-2VK15M8nxG8vTxuLi8-WsGwvwuDKj8cHKFY/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6eTMckYlWJ94Vchqu0zU3iHwhLXGXlLNjh3y8NPWdk_bdMANj_QLAcPMuRsmaRGZjZEBJ-vPhMxBeUHzRGuRso_C7jQMWKQS5tb9QFF4-2VK15M8nxG8vTxuLi8-WsGwvwuDKj8cHKFY/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+002.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Hey Look! A cruise ship!</span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcoXaCc09R6UXo1G0s7NG6LS3TBOavslQrpYH1YDW4lmp3C0WGLwgEQ-a9GfNp2HKIzaqhvwLyeq9hHPaXkst_DhYACLCE5_RWJOXo0Q-3KVr1DfcpuyJsGvsKiKC5Bs_AcAmT8rreGWk/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcoXaCc09R6UXo1G0s7NG6LS3TBOavslQrpYH1YDW4lmp3C0WGLwgEQ-a9GfNp2HKIzaqhvwLyeq9hHPaXkst_DhYACLCE5_RWJOXo0Q-3KVr1DfcpuyJsGvsKiKC5Bs_AcAmT8rreGWk/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+004.JPG" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span> </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm enjoying a lager while Tina has an ale. She was still hungover from the night before when she stayed up until the wee hours of the morning packing her bags and drinking wine. Big dummy.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIqCz3dyi8qiURs6CMjdGYOfC-R8PB2KI5BqZi7jZ4HprHEoWZabA3zRv47S25oHmcVfvAzDdivadBHWg1hF5h9o1GRVwHWJfS_p78x3CqYG773VexwWM9Exr8o_UmjMi2Lcl0qgmWrLk/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIqCz3dyi8qiURs6CMjdGYOfC-R8PB2KI5BqZi7jZ4HprHEoWZabA3zRv47S25oHmcVfvAzDdivadBHWg1hF5h9o1GRVwHWJfS_p78x3CqYG773VexwWM9Exr8o_UmjMi2Lcl0qgmWrLk/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+005.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We had dinner in San Juan. Tina had a shredded chicken quesadilla while yours truly feasted on a shrimp and bacon (!) burrito and drank a couple of STRONG margaritas.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWG75EHmwWTULpeafEaSYr0yjTPGe-Mk8bxgsCe4ZKQ4irNc8Vqq1jo79KR3fBUdrOaC5-PvWqHCIRGvjS8TJm1TCCcto5QbZCkws4OcH3jN5SJ3nRtRZHKl-4Zjt4LShIkMADBrcDK8U/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWG75EHmwWTULpeafEaSYr0yjTPGe-Mk8bxgsCe4ZKQ4irNc8Vqq1jo79KR3fBUdrOaC5-PvWqHCIRGvjS8TJm1TCCcto5QbZCkws4OcH3jN5SJ3nRtRZHKl-4Zjt4LShIkMADBrcDK8U/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+008.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiiqiY96Ft1W5NmGXAXaAjqFS299UpfwO2dfpAy7QSR-4KGaN0XK8p2T_0AcTdveLCkYboqb3oBh4O6TC-nhULwQ5VEeH0tG7qclZquYTaaKf5x7hPry-95ZATBJvulS0ylnglpM7lYG4/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiiqiY96Ft1W5NmGXAXaAjqFS299UpfwO2dfpAy7QSR-4KGaN0XK8p2T_0AcTdveLCkYboqb3oBh4O6TC-nhULwQ5VEeH0tG7qclZquYTaaKf5x7hPry-95ZATBJvulS0ylnglpM7lYG4/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+007.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We walked around a bit and wound up at the Marriot Hotel and Casino. I won a whole $10 playing craps, we were served complimentary Medalla Light, and we listened to a Puerto Rican rock band whose name I can't remember but I called them Kings of (Ponce de) Leon. On the way back to our hotel we stopped by a gas station to grab a beer for the walk. They sell energy drinks in Capri-Sun packages here, which is probably why the kids talk so damn fast.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGvrm4h338JTD1hFRSEh494BR5d5psWfDe4wOKgAGyAqz13Xi4AjJ_4-HM55byEUmZCBSK7QnI5-6KZNqUDdEQELzBKlYVo_lOa_pvnS_FGG_iT7tH52hA9Bm_1fkRno_8XdN8ijMkEQU/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+011.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGvrm4h338JTD1hFRSEh494BR5d5psWfDe4wOKgAGyAqz13Xi4AjJ_4-HM55byEUmZCBSK7QnI5-6KZNqUDdEQELzBKlYVo_lOa_pvnS_FGG_iT7tH52hA9Bm_1fkRno_8XdN8ijMkEQU/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+011.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Day 2 - 2/28 - Old San Juan, PR and Embarkation:</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Our cruise ship wasn't leaving port until 11PM, so we spent about five hours walking around Old San Juan. This is the original downtown, and is still surrounded by a 20-ft thick stone wall that was constructed in the 16th century to guard against a British invasion. I had no idea they hated The Beatles that much.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6bi2cb6HlaBwcmSMarvr1_ErrFV61fe5MbEfW2sX87gvHEMWsLpHwP0DW1TJ-aSbCxod0FLwGpY6AZb_bIcnU2sxKkL4O7Ytfzb7RH8yoJa83SnXZLy8sUSWHCGF-VOrOt9Rhiq9pXkA/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6bi2cb6HlaBwcmSMarvr1_ErrFV61fe5MbEfW2sX87gvHEMWsLpHwP0DW1TJ-aSbCxod0FLwGpY6AZb_bIcnU2sxKkL4O7Ytfzb7RH8yoJa83SnXZLy8sUSWHCGF-VOrOt9Rhiq9pXkA/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+014.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbgWmQlfObx9CcAzV3tsKL_GRKxgykk3PUjxkgGpsPn50xV4r1l7gdKaBn94nKLKw8Wwk-RBN8aZqJv66SAUEM1sRELu9ZD5GkJwdtltZ7Smbuu6GshnCVdEdHS7cmznZg8DDQhrBELHM/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+025.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbgWmQlfObx9CcAzV3tsKL_GRKxgykk3PUjxkgGpsPn50xV4r1l7gdKaBn94nKLKw8Wwk-RBN8aZqJv66SAUEM1sRELu9ZD5GkJwdtltZ7Smbuu6GshnCVdEdHS7cmznZg8DDQhrBELHM/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+025.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMYgSJONyYfhu1WFejUurhqyZNBCv5qcAeU_ILoEnKiTRzx5xDGTYbypWIUiFQdF-ND6fsqELu6D0dq3liVl-KV0i6bOS4UNXMydyRUK9i9Z9OlTe1DA6v9RL5ssN7KEzSb09oOxE85pQ/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+027.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMYgSJONyYfhu1WFejUurhqyZNBCv5qcAeU_ILoEnKiTRzx5xDGTYbypWIUiFQdF-ND6fsqELu6D0dq3liVl-KV0i6bOS4UNXMydyRUK9i9Z9OlTe1DA6v9RL5ssN7KEzSb09oOxE85pQ/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+027.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">This is a sculpture of a wingless rooster with a human head and a duck tail, and is wearing a fish for a hat. In the background is a dachsund with a giraffe neck, baboon face, and dolphin tail. Puerto Rican marijuana must be AMAZING.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7isHOfTm4wmoA6ulTD-haocsYMYiSCi_uUVz03Wo_-L5I0wr1ko0rv7OV8SNH5BFogBkRpwax3Mn045064hO8Yi2Kg9Hz_5ceXu34s603wFXLCNW55XfF5g_lwLyqqksyv-D4byul6tI/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+021.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7isHOfTm4wmoA6ulTD-haocsYMYiSCi_uUVz03Wo_-L5I0wr1ko0rv7OV8SNH5BFogBkRpwax3Mn045064hO8Yi2Kg9Hz_5ceXu34s603wFXLCNW55XfF5g_lwLyqqksyv-D4byul6tI/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+021.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We went on tours of two forts - Fort San Felipe del Morro and Castillo de San Cristobal.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMs0DC4RNDMh82tytQn4QRY193391AZi-hUJBUaBZcX9qfood3D_EqoICL9inQLP5JYkYHe-HQthpVlF839Sl3arydJt8SS6IW4XRKCxur08YHQQaeh2i5ozyo_z5dN9OZYNNo1QcMCFs/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+026.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMs0DC4RNDMh82tytQn4QRY193391AZi-hUJBUaBZcX9qfood3D_EqoICL9inQLP5JYkYHe-HQthpVlF839Sl3arydJt8SS6IW4XRKCxur08YHQQaeh2i5ozyo_z5dN9OZYNNo1QcMCFs/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+026.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcFD1sqGW_7Kx42BB6RY4O5tmtvaYqJdrUpSNiLku-bCFWw8wmO5MSTnBcwvMzbJlQEwIptUfQKOUpwsii8A-WYu1g98q_UVap_w8Ui9_uoMNvhhBv__juREk8eR4LehQhOO0CgwsVlP0/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+033.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcFD1sqGW_7Kx42BB6RY4O5tmtvaYqJdrUpSNiLku-bCFWw8wmO5MSTnBcwvMzbJlQEwIptUfQKOUpwsii8A-WYu1g98q_UVap_w8Ui9_uoMNvhhBv__juREk8eR4LehQhOO0CgwsVlP0/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+033.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRQMQMIXwGztjrR6p-AUk3goW4_Dc-48Niw2enFnlEKBaRmrASqibom9K2sb3eeeDR0qPaSdMQYKU-r629n2G6Xi3QHe2b-JJjDWnMTaJYgELu6x7byOxDdjNBQ88Sxk8T-SctAypzol0/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRQMQMIXwGztjrR6p-AUk3goW4_Dc-48Niw2enFnlEKBaRmrASqibom9K2sb3eeeDR0qPaSdMQYKU-r629n2G6Xi3QHe2b-JJjDWnMTaJYgELu6x7byOxDdjNBQ88Sxk8T-SctAypzol0/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+034.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO7todOecOw8RBMml-Mkg5L_qBqNp3bg3ntid0TG-CfJqqtkKzzIBKhKk7FuH9TMo_3Oz8f8Ev9vIpmBlBvNwuuYPtfQmjKjnw5-A9CaMXO9L6vOyr9Z7AEbG_m_eHsXB5XbkFy9Nnb9M/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+032.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO7todOecOw8RBMml-Mkg5L_qBqNp3bg3ntid0TG-CfJqqtkKzzIBKhKk7FuH9TMo_3Oz8f8Ev9vIpmBlBvNwuuYPtfQmjKjnw5-A9CaMXO9L6vOyr9Z7AEbG_m_eHsXB5XbkFy9Nnb9M/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+032.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We decided to head to the cruise ship, and after a quick stop at El Walgreens for some sunblock, we shopped the duty-free for 1 bottle each of wine, vodka, and champagne, and a box of pre-made Sauza margarita. We later discovered that "Sauza" is the spanish word for "tastes like sweat-soaked ass crack". We then boarded the Caribbean Princess and ordered a bucket of beers.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7lvuJf71-i7Tcb34nh2w_kxJplc2rhqgbs2Fnx69He5QqLAn_hWaaWxf-9golT41HkKIQDPgRDgnspa6GUe9TqLE4kFuKA_PukP_O_p_v3X8Zv3M1iFNRyutEBj7To1Lx7ut7pikJgwg/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+042.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7lvuJf71-i7Tcb34nh2w_kxJplc2rhqgbs2Fnx69He5QqLAn_hWaaWxf-9golT41HkKIQDPgRDgnspa6GUe9TqLE4kFuKA_PukP_O_p_v3X8Zv3M1iFNRyutEBj7To1Lx7ut7pikJgwg/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+042.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">That's odd, Tina has a pair of panties with this same warning written on it.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXRB1On3gxGOOHCj8vI71iO3jtBfBCWbIWgLWqqYpgbxAdn7C1O-97T34_Pm-qRUgvHdvMeHc7DUlIBJ0DJoKEWGlxvlm_1-W-rjotc3bqlXTrfU-rDSHiuDCPbQwpYqHIoyJUAVfORCU/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+041.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXRB1On3gxGOOHCj8vI71iO3jtBfBCWbIWgLWqqYpgbxAdn7C1O-97T34_Pm-qRUgvHdvMeHc7DUlIBJ0DJoKEWGlxvlm_1-W-rjotc3bqlXTrfU-rDSHiuDCPbQwpYqHIoyJUAVfORCU/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+041.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">A big dissappointment for myself and many other cruisers was that there was no broadcast of the USA-Canada gold medal hockey game on the ship. Epic Fail, Princess.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Our entertainment that evening was the Ghost of David Carradine and his trio of smoking hot mamacitas. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMpYo7Jc1rMxxMuoA6Qdo7nsEcYPMFMIRvN01zbmTuiMmJjZ4KYq-RWDn3Tcz67cPRz7mIXDrR-0aheAZx3-oH5fLyV3EHz2gl2smayl3y2VR8KaRhiEL2VoU242KhD0JZGPedGPO_TBQ/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+044.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMpYo7Jc1rMxxMuoA6Qdo7nsEcYPMFMIRvN01zbmTuiMmJjZ4KYq-RWDn3Tcz67cPRz7mIXDrR-0aheAZx3-oH5fLyV3EHz2gl2smayl3y2VR8KaRhiEL2VoU242KhD0JZGPedGPO_TBQ/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+044.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiHnhZm92TvT55QQ1ttio1NPyb5svE4qXpi0lRsFApMob-95rAM4sRHbTXgS-FSkbF4UCCW-3pHpsmVrjccRC7gv4vHUlA2e4S-pr6U80tqOd4ZKA-rVmeQOx0vQB-gYILdH_kulOolxA/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+043.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiHnhZm92TvT55QQ1ttio1NPyb5svE4qXpi0lRsFApMob-95rAM4sRHbTXgS-FSkbF4UCCW-3pHpsmVrjccRC7gv4vHUlA2e4S-pr6U80tqOd4ZKA-rVmeQOx0vQB-gYILdH_kulOolxA/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+043.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I was invited up on stage to strap a bunch of canastas onto my ass and dance with the ladies. Unfortunately, I had the camera in my pocket, so there is no photographic evidence of my ground-breaking dance moves.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We stopped back by our room to pick up our bottle of champagne and discovered that there were no towel animals in our room. Epic Fail #2, Princess.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Tina and I sipped on champagne while at the sailaway party. There I won a raffle for a huge coupon book for the stores on the islands we visit. This gave Tina a girl-boner.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFeqhUTEfUOWsGuCNzYymfC4tCb-D4VppBSJR69r1gSzu7aC5DfpMuAh8GDNSys0hcgAwFf35atjCp2K3q4qVb0jhlM2_SXtRq3qWLRQymkt15KO02O4wYSudQ4TH9ST4QKMfAFZ44p30/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+045.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFeqhUTEfUOWsGuCNzYymfC4tCb-D4VppBSJR69r1gSzu7aC5DfpMuAh8GDNSys0hcgAwFf35atjCp2K3q4qVb0jhlM2_SXtRq3qWLRQymkt15KO02O4wYSudQ4TH9ST4QKMfAFZ44p30/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+045.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We grabbed some snacks at the party and spotted this asian warrior made out of fruits and veggies. I call him Yam-urai.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglJ-Q4A0_VDK5Ohf7I3jC6y7DpKIAVuGWtCe0gK7KpLqpit_WcQF0a1O9E9NdLAUooKymq0UYcpWHohPbh8pr9QuRgF3gGrorL5yYXFPemVbN4CgDMwOINjdpMZRWosPYGWGg-WoPgUBA/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+046.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglJ-Q4A0_VDK5Ohf7I3jC6y7DpKIAVuGWtCe0gK7KpLqpit_WcQF0a1O9E9NdLAUooKymq0UYcpWHohPbh8pr9QuRgF3gGrorL5yYXFPemVbN4CgDMwOINjdpMZRWosPYGWGg-WoPgUBA/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+046.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We ended the evening with a walk through the art gallery where I spotted this great piece by Michael Godard. Yeah, that's Caddyshack. Olive this painting.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDpuxnKC5-migqqSZTn3wY1Uv69CSVtb8vqEhvQME4ubD7fZaNPbHBzSCcp_NYkHUBzd_Ai286uC-1ebZHq2M72BMGY3JQEfY1_jMwzV-dtuV-bruNe3tgYIJkmUq4u8GfGnVlXQFP5q8/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+047.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDpuxnKC5-migqqSZTn3wY1Uv69CSVtb8vqEhvQME4ubD7fZaNPbHBzSCcp_NYkHUBzd_Ai286uC-1ebZHq2M72BMGY3JQEfY1_jMwzV-dtuV-bruNe3tgYIJkmUq4u8GfGnVlXQFP5q8/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+047.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Day 3 - 3/1 - At Sea:</span></b></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We began the day with a bacon breakfast and proceeded to play trivia where I was promptly crushed. Then it was on to Bingo where Tina threw away $20. We walked the ship for a bit before stopping at one of the restaurants for an "English Style Pub Lunch". Hmm, no fish 'n chips? WTF? That's like going to a zoo that doesn't have animals. Instead, we had the shrimp 'n chips with some beers and tried a Scotch Egg, which is a hard-boiled egg wrapped in sausage/liver meat, coated with bread crumbs, and deep fried. While the beer was tasty, this friggin egg thing was indescribably bad. I should take a lesson from Puerto Rico and build a wall around my stomach to prevent British food from entering.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEZUqfkmRrDl2PwsUsd2lzJafmLQSJKrYGoU7wIz9zZYc7-Cq_wdJ51cS9ZkWDq9vWi43dlojyL4wdEYOo_mHWhZ2RaWEZQSxnstRzf7DN4lkJ-wTzdPnAty1IwuKUqbmKP9PvpHnUVhQ/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+048.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEZUqfkmRrDl2PwsUsd2lzJafmLQSJKrYGoU7wIz9zZYc7-Cq_wdJ51cS9ZkWDq9vWi43dlojyL4wdEYOo_mHWhZ2RaWEZQSxnstRzf7DN4lkJ-wTzdPnAty1IwuKUqbmKP9PvpHnUVhQ/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+048.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">After that disgusting meal, we went to the top deck for some suntanning. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEionejMzN3hXXfptH4-jXzbdlKyoBVrQer8jJvUXgquOeO5Dh_kYqVh-d1_A-Cf4nC-MXgHpzAl6qSGBQ4yTSAJqXGK8WdO3oatFB37Dd-B5W0vig_ryltnp66fNaL_gIEf8qV6NJg5-6I/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+054.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEionejMzN3hXXfptH4-jXzbdlKyoBVrQer8jJvUXgquOeO5Dh_kYqVh-d1_A-Cf4nC-MXgHpzAl6qSGBQ4yTSAJqXGK8WdO3oatFB37Dd-B5W0vig_ryltnp66fNaL_gIEf8qV6NJg5-6I/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+054.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Tina took this sexy photo of my belly button. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmU31qY0s8oJxx9B0mRfIPR6dKBOU9h44jSJcXBUR0806HZ-j5B4yA4xjTC9v1T72Zmwd2hnRR7ZbsHuydGCDNCj4cxpQIc0S7haDN1ldsakhpe3nIVr_ezL1576wpq4uNlL3DtBt06Ss/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+051.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmU31qY0s8oJxx9B0mRfIPR6dKBOU9h44jSJcXBUR0806HZ-j5B4yA4xjTC9v1T72Zmwd2hnRR7ZbsHuydGCDNCj4cxpQIc0S7haDN1ldsakhpe3nIVr_ezL1576wpq4uNlL3DtBt06Ss/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+051.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Up close, it looks remarkably like the Great Pit of Carkoon.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://daily.swarthmore.edu/static/uploads/bone-dr-tries-the-female-condom/470px-originalcarkoonskirmishsarlaac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://daily.swarthmore.edu/static/uploads/bone-dr-tries-the-female-condom/470px-originalcarkoonskirmishsarlaac.jpg" width="251" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Later that afternoon, we went to trivia again. I got my ass handed to me because everything was from the 60's and earlier. I guess the ship feels the need to cater to these walking dinosaurs on the cruise, instead of cool hipsters like myself. Tina followed up that defeat by burning another $20 at bingo. I believe we may be cursed.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We took a nap, then got dressed for dinner. Tina is seen here posing with all the glasses of champagne that she will drink on the cruise (<i>that's known as foreshadowing</i>).</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT19IV-xKwLCsSikEy-sEC4qu2epbjREOJoj35Wjd4EWNguPxjfukAuWEPpg2pLw4U8OAJsneyC1ANGUXZf66bE2Jbs6SZmBk6YietqULxjMWIFCc6m8g7yfgQ-dpMhVkPK70ZVjyQCJE/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT19IV-xKwLCsSikEy-sEC4qu2epbjREOJoj35Wjd4EWNguPxjfukAuWEPpg2pLw4U8OAJsneyC1ANGUXZf66bE2Jbs6SZmBk6YietqULxjMWIFCc6m8g7yfgQ-dpMhVkPK70ZVjyQCJE/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+057.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Here we are taking a lovely grown-up picture...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgknaFaEFAGi6iMfhq6XWpwyTM59GcFuQy9d7FC17-Pr5ZCcTbult_gG5SnzgNvQSh_ZiMCXI_8hwLUC5HG2K6C_007UUtCFDUEmQSemvAI2HAKP34S202PoVU0Wx2K04Dl7LGTTQ0BJZM/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+058.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgknaFaEFAGi6iMfhq6XWpwyTM59GcFuQy9d7FC17-Pr5ZCcTbult_gG5SnzgNvQSh_ZiMCXI_8hwLUC5HG2K6C_007UUtCFDUEmQSemvAI2HAKP34S202PoVU0Wx2K04Dl7LGTTQ0BJZM/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+058.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">...before acting like children at dinner. Tina's doing the chicken dance.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVdkhz-ZQXacQwsV8Qx9agtkSe1cBb7p_9L01sCGPasafTz32k7TKAC38ybE_rJ_tP5EPEg1maFrWtT_vB9T2TQWfaXGe_nzROZy2ck0DmGbWM4ef2pKypgr5rlCAdkspoGgGcnMo7K5U/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+060.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVdkhz-ZQXacQwsV8Qx9agtkSe1cBb7p_9L01sCGPasafTz32k7TKAC38ybE_rJ_tP5EPEg1maFrWtT_vB9T2TQWfaXGe_nzROZy2ck0DmGbWM4ef2pKypgr5rlCAdkspoGgGcnMo7K5U/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+060.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Excuse me waiter, can I get another dessert please? It appears that one of the staff fornicated with mine.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEEYYsDoi4Yj89nn8z0BqTHsITsA-jAgJwxrwTyOglBVaE-t1EcUSRVWHsGkU169QB2eLejbQz2y0KsUoDcBUw4ZmM-jqwZITaIpJE9RtdiJ2N88GZRvttee3A-gF1zui-xZunZUF9w9A/s1600-h/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+061.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEEYYsDoi4Yj89nn8z0BqTHsITsA-jAgJwxrwTyOglBVaE-t1EcUSRVWHsGkU169QB2eLejbQz2y0KsUoDcBUw4ZmM-jqwZITaIpJE9RtdiJ2N88GZRvttee3A-gF1zui-xZunZUF9w9A/s320/Caribbean+Cruise+2010+061.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We went to a song and dance performance after dinner. All the music was from the 50's and 60's...holy shitballs, what a snoozefest. I literally sat in the theater with a glass of cabernet in one hand, and the bottle in the other, while trying to figure out what "do-run-run-run-a-do-run-run" means. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After spending some time and money in the casino, we headed back to room to pass out. We arrive at our first island in the morning. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><b>To Be Continued...</b></i></div></span>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-3384030737702791042010-02-26T23:52:00.001-05:002010-02-26T23:55:38.977-05:00The Winter O-Lame-PicsMaybe it's just me, but I just don't get excited for the Winter Olympics. Take away Men's Hockey and Snowboarding, and there's no reason to even watch. Maybe I just don't understand the point of some of these "sports":<br />
<br />
So Bobsledding is about how four dudes in multi-colored spandex pack themselves into a metal phallus so tightly that you could make a mold of their weiners off the impression on the guy's ass in front of them. Then they go sledding. I bet you could find a gold-medal squad in the Castro district of San Francisco.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/article-1244454-07ED4973000005DC-68.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/article-1244454-07ED4973000005DC-68.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Skeleton and Luge are just cool names for going down a waterslide when it's freezing out. Increase the difficulty by chasing them with that boulder from "Raiders of the Lost Ark".<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/water-slide-bobsledders-464x500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/water-slide-bobsledders-464x500.jpg" width="296" /></a></div><br />
Curling is basically a contest to see who can sweep floors the best. How does Mexico not win the gold EVERY year?! Maybe they get disqualified for rubbing Lemon Pledge all over the ice.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/98251396.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/98251396.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Downhill Skiing? All the work is done by gravity. They should give an award out to the fastest uphill skier. Now that's a damn challenge.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/3331303305_5eee24616e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/3331303305_5eee24616e.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Biathlon? Are you fucking kidding me?! Why is this considered a sport? Ski 5 miles, pull out your rifle and shoot a hubcap, ski 6 more miles, shoot a bottle, etc. This event would be more exciting if they used rubber bullets, shot at all the targets while skiing, and were allowed to shoot at the other competitors. Now that's something I would watch.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/cheney-shoot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/cheney-shoot.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Women's Hockey?!?! LMFAO!! If I didn't see it with my own eyes I wouldn't believe it existed, like the Chupacabra, a mustard and onions eclair, or the g-spot.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/womens-hockey.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/womens-hockey.png" /></a></div><br />
And why isn't snowmobiling an event? Is it too "badass"?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/aptopix_winter_x_games_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/aptopix_winter_x_games_400.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Look, a lot of people love the pageantry and patriotism of the Winter Olympics (I think those people are also the reason "According To Jim" was on the air so long), but I would rather jerk off with a sandpaper glove while using tabasco sauce as a lubricant, than watch another round of figure skating between Albania and Zanzibar. The country of Chad has never competed in the Winter Olympics, and until that happens, I ain't watchin' either.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/chad_l.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/Floridachad/chad_l.gif" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Leaving for vacation tomorrow and it will be another Caribbean cruise, so look for another fun and exciting update in two weeks.Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-83483425250694607382010-02-12T01:04:00.009-05:002010-02-12T10:44:50.903-05:00And the Academy Award goes to...my asshole?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> When the brothers Warner inevitably decide to remake Police Academy, I believe the roll of Larvell Jones - originally played by Michael Winslow - should go to my butthole. They're both brown, and they both create amazing noises. I've discovered over the years that due to my diet of spicy foods, my little chocolate pucker has become quite the vocal talent. To all you Tinseltown types out there looking for a new sound-sation, my stinkstar can perfectly replicate the following sound effects:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Creaky door in a Scooby-Doo cartoon</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Any Lady Gaga song</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1997 Honda Accord with manual transmission and a broken muffler</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">An angry Donald Duck</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Steamroller driving over bubble wrap</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Scuba diver exhaling</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A Morgan Freeman voiceover</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Losing the Showcase Showdown on The Price is Right</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...And Many More</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Also, due to it's unique features, my bunghole could be cast as a lookalike for both Clint Eastwood and Monique and would be an ideal seat filler for either during this year's Oscars.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> So, to all the Hollywood Jews, for your consideration...my asshole.</span>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-70132523987853931142009-09-26T20:30:00.004-04:002009-09-26T20:58:12.827-04:00The Internet is for Porn<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Every once in awhile, I get instant messages from what I guess are IM robots, trying to lure me to their sex sites. Normally I just report them as spam, but I was bored on this fine Saturday and decided to play along. The following is the ACTUAL exchange I had today with a porn-bot:</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: Whats up?!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: my weiner</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: hello?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Is it me you're looking for? Yeah, I'm a big Lionel Richie fan myself</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: do i know you??</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Absolutely. I'm the dude that watches you through your bathroom window when you're taking a dump.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: ohh hey what's up babes??</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Not much. Just got done eating dinner. I had grilled kittens with a wasabi sauce.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: i've been a little busy with work, just got home and fresh out of the shower! i'm kinda feeling a little naughty lol..u?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Sure. You wanna go burn down someone's house? I have a new lighter that I've been dying to try out.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: yeah i'm horny lolz! u?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Arson makes you horny? That's a bit odd. You know what'd be sexy? You should stick a potato peeler up your hoo-hah and then douche with some Texas Pete hot sauce.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: Mhhm babe i love a guy who knows what he wants..can u be that guy ?? </span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Are you asking me to kill somebady and then take his place? I could totally do that.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: I love to tease my man and please him..u like that babes??</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Do I like to be teased? Not really, I think that's pretty fucking rude. I want to helicopter kick you in the face now.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: Nice!! lolz i even like to dress up for my man...u into that?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Definitely. Will you dress up in a Chewbacca outfit? I'd love some wookie nookie.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: ..do you have a cam?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: By "cam" do you mean a rotating or sliding piece in a mechanical linkage used especially in transforming rotary motion into linear motion or vice versa, because I have a shitload of those just lying around.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: I have one but you're not a kid right?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: I'm 12, but I'll be 13 in November. Do you like bubble gum? I eat my own boogers.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: Can never really be sure..you know?? </span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: I have no idea what you're talking about. My dog licks his own butthole.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: k ..well im gonna show you ..k?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Show me what? What the hell are you babbling about? You sound like a fucking moron.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: yup, just put in your info so the system can verify your age, u got it?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: What'll I use to verify my age, my driver's license? I'm only 12!! I want to stab you about the face and neck with a spork.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: i use this site to play on cause i don't want to be recorded!...this site doesn't allow people to record my cam! u know?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: No, I don't know. Are you on drugs? Cuz I think drugs are kick ass. I just farted and it smells like Taco Bell.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: credit card is just to verify your age, u get in for free thru my cam session invite but u need to verify babe ..cant show tits and pussy to minors..you know? lolz</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: I don't have a credit card, because again, I'm only 12 years old. But I'm still interested in the whole tits and pussy looking. Will you accept a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards and my pet bullfrog, Jeremiah?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: Sorry babe you have to put in a vaild cc number so they know ur not a kid.. kidz r not allowed</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Oh, then why the fuck are you teasing me? I told you that teasing is not cool. I'm gonna come to your house and murder you in your sleep.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: let me know if you need any help..i'm gonna slip into something nice for you..k? </span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: I wish you would slip on a patch of ice and break your vagina.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: if its not working u can check out my other site babes.. go to http://tinyurl.com/CHOOSEME2 scroll all the way down to the bottom babe, and you will see "friends of ME!!!", click that and when you get the password page, put in the password:"lucky" okay?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: That sounds like a lot of work. I'm just gonna take my dog and some peanut butter into my bedroom. I have a racecar bed.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: k</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Allrightythen, I guess this is goodbye. Good luck with whatever the fuck it is you do and try not to catch gonorrhea.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: hello???</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Are you there God? It's me, Margaret.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;">whitneylamb8066</span>: are u in babe???</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;">floridachad</span>: Well, I have a pretty small penis, cuz again, and I can't stress this enough, I'm only 12. I'm pretty sure I'm in though, oh, no wait, that's your butthole. Wow, you're really hairy down there. You should get a controlled burn to thin out some of that bush.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Much to my disappointment, she never responded. Still, it was a fun time waster, and I look forward to my next IM.</span><br />
</div>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-87623107764494166372009-09-22T17:56:00.010-04:002009-09-23T19:44:14.221-04:00Whacky Wednesday!!<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CChad%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CChad%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CChad%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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</style><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: lucida grande; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Well, I’ll just get right to the point. Wednesday’s the day that I have to jerk off into this plastic cup. <br />
</span> </span> <br />
</span> <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_l14OfECvhZ6UMPGqg4MV7JClV3ktu7vHiMCeeUjVo81Ypmd1aadVrnHAjF0197f8Nt0R364ErhutOU1O83fTSHEqh8Ghy9bynofCcE1bM34bzzasM_xGTFd9R4-JjfDIgzAdTWGnI60/s1600-h/012.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384415150651334850" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_l14OfECvhZ6UMPGqg4MV7JClV3ktu7vHiMCeeUjVo81Ypmd1aadVrnHAjF0197f8Nt0R364ErhutOU1O83fTSHEqh8Ghy9bynofCcE1bM34bzzasM_xGTFd9R4-JjfDIgzAdTWGnI60/s400/012.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a> <br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">No doubt many of you are shocked to read that last statement, what with paper cups being a much “greener” alternative.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">You’re probably wondering why I’m being forced to play a little "five-on-one" with the purple-headed yogurt slinger, and to fully understand it, we need to go back in time.</span><br />
</div><br />
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</style><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">"In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was"</span></span>…SHIT!! Sorry, went back too far. </span></span> <br />
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</style><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Ah, here we are, October '07. After many years of unprotected sex (the bed of nails was the worst), and no resulting pregnancy, Tina and I decided to visit a fertility expert for some testing on our bits ‘n pieces. Tina had the first round of tests performed on her, and in a few days her results came back as normal. I’m not sure what the tests consisted of, but I’m certain it involved stirrups and a speculum, and probably resembled a wormhole in a sci-fi flick.</span></span> <br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">If she wants to give you the details of her procedure, you can check out her blog at IHeartEdwardCullen.TwilightDouche/GrowUpAlready/ThisBookIsForLittleGirlsNotGrownAssWomen.</span> </span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Her normal results led me to visit the Center for Reproductive Medicine in Winter Park, Florida, or “Spank Bank” for short. Here’s where it gets fun. You see, all my years of watching “R” rated movies had ingrained into my head that the clinic would be run by supermodel nurses that handed out dirty magazines and nasty pornos, and maintained a general level of sophomoric fun.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Instead, I was led to a 5’x5’ sterile white room with a toilet and a sink with a mirror above it – I guess in case I wanted to <i>(shudder) </i>watch myself “giving the seamen their shore leave”? No magazine, no movie, no supermodel nurses. It can’t get any worse, oh no wait, I just saw myself in the mirror…that made it worse. It is seriously more unwatchable than an episode of “According to Jim.” Now I’m left to my own vivid imagination, and while it worked, let’s just say that you do NOT want to hear my version of “Jackin’ the Beanstalk.”</span><br />
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</style><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Leaving out all the degrading details, I finish up, but then I’m stuck in another quandary. I start to wonder how long I’ve been in the bathroom. Was it two minutes or ten minutes? Should I sit in here longer to make it appear like I’m a total stud, but if I’m in there too long will they think I’m playing amusement park with my body? And am I going to get a boner every time I’m in the powder room at my own house? And how do I walk back through the lobby looking all cool, when those people out there know what I was doing. And I know that they know, and they know that I know that they know. SHIT! I did not think this through. I quickly make up my mind to leave. I place the cup in the little metal slot, open the bathroom door, and see a nurse standing there waiting for me. SHIT! I start questioning my "staying power" again, and on top of it my face is flushed and I’m sweating like a dog in a Korean deli. The nurse points me to a side door where I can exit the building. I’m so grateful that I don’t have to make the walk of shame back through the lobby, that I coolly give the nurse a thumbs up and say, “Right on," like I'm some kind of creepy, masturbating Fonzie</span></span> <br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Seriously, the last half hour of my life was like an episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">The results came back that our difficulty to conceive was because of me. It turns out that you can’t get pregnant from butt sex like I had learned growing up. Damn you public schools! Although in retrospect, I may have misheard the teacher. It’s hard to listen when you giggle every time you hear the word “anal.” HeeHee. Anal. HeeHee. It still gets me.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Eventually, we went for a second opinion and the doctor said I was fine, the problem was with Tina. He was obviously much more educated than the first quack we saw.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Later on, we found a third doctor that we used as a tiebreaker. He too confirmed that I was not the issue, and that it was indeed a problem with Tina’s plumbing. This doctor was also highly intelligent, and is likely the king of Harvard or something. After that last visit, we’ve debated on and off for the last year or so the pros and cons of going any further with it. <br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Baby Fever hit my wife again recently, thanks in no small part to all of our friends, who apparently have never heard of the pull out method. Seriously, one of my buddies is only a few years away from being able to field a softball team.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Today, Tina went through a follow-up “inspection” that involved a small camera. After watching the procedure through the point of view of the camera lens, I kinda feel like renting Stargate.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">The next step is for me to submit a “sample” for diagnosis, and essentially just to confirm that my boys swim like Michael Phelps. The good news is that I get to” whomp the walrus” in the comfort of my own home. The bad news is that I have to take it to the facility immediately after instead of falling asleep. </span><br />
</div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m writing this as I get prepared mentally to escort my one-eyed prisoner out of his denim cell for his date with “Ol’ Spanky” tomorrow. Not quite sure if it’ll be in the bathroom, bedroom, or maybe just right here on the couch while watching Sportscenter. Either way, I’m gonna have to find some way to dress up this receptacle into something sexier. Maybe tape a picture of Angelina Jolie to it with the mouth hole cut out?</span></span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"> <br />
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</style><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Or make it a game, like perhaps a picture of a Skeeball machine with the 50 point circle removed?</span></span> <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH2JgEGW1h5QgXshz6kHEmBO-vsVt6YDzdY1PiHBgYyBD0Q44IENvw92HeLSaH_7hbfCE_BueVbhc5wYdIopXwhwjmF7F0a_gYGRg1b1Jupl-GisWz308iYVwmQzFDNGFJpdV2rxzrJ9I/s1600-h/2808072888_7c5e16c12f.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384414670354528722" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH2JgEGW1h5QgXshz6kHEmBO-vsVt6YDzdY1PiHBgYyBD0Q44IENvw92HeLSaH_7hbfCE_BueVbhc5wYdIopXwhwjmF7F0a_gYGRg1b1Jupl-GisWz308iYVwmQzFDNGFJpdV2rxzrJ9I/s400/2808072888_7c5e16c12f.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a> <br />
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</style><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Whichever method I use, I just want you all to remember what I wrote here today. And the next time I try to shake your hand, go for the fist bump instead.</span></span> <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe7-EdleJcqCjNo2jF6eRhMDAb4zxVsaaDwPFrk_fCf9ocCKCOcRrZBqHtOexsUzVsWEFfuSb0iSkXDHrXq3nvWs3me0VB-l-Qhco3ySmEt0vm1hO3lroKEH29CwdmCUVdOTCJl9tsgdM/s1600-h/dyshidrotic_eczema2.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384414663317702162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe7-EdleJcqCjNo2jF6eRhMDAb4zxVsaaDwPFrk_fCf9ocCKCOcRrZBqHtOexsUzVsWEFfuSb0iSkXDHrXq3nvWs3me0VB-l-Qhco3ySmEt0vm1hO3lroKEH29CwdmCUVdOTCJl9tsgdM/s400/dyshidrotic_eczema2.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 310px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a> <br />
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</style><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Now if you don’t mind, I have a to go get ready…</span></span> <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQTfpydJrWtoH-W71KC6PgFKdgHBF7vTZia-GUIL9t0hsQzl8NoZ0mOxba5HJcLpQ24rdWdr1svgrrX8u6gz-S6qECOBRgZx9Ku4VPWOlwwnbhH8TVut2MvCy-tfIo-HL-4vQH-Gnvbts/s1600-h/Spank+the+Monkey.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384414658823956466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQTfpydJrWtoH-W71KC6PgFKdgHBF7vTZia-GUIL9t0hsQzl8NoZ0mOxba5HJcLpQ24rdWdr1svgrrX8u6gz-S6qECOBRgZx9Ku4VPWOlwwnbhH8TVut2MvCy-tfIo-HL-4vQH-Gnvbts/s400/Spank+the+Monkey.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 387px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a> <br />
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Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-36959352613655069862009-09-14T20:29:00.012-04:002009-09-17T21:47:46.348-04:00"Adios, Amigo"<span style="font-family:georgia;">Patrick Swayze gave up his ghost (wow, what a fucking tacky pun) on Monday after losing his battle with pancreatic cancer at the age of 57. </span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieuwdXfQ4btchVRKObtmKVXkKKTUUUgMz2z3qKTXjW7KPJYwVrTw28K1HgVLN-AwgyiCv_bjWSxxhccxWIVmb7VyuxHdkvZW6emfzJkBteUv4Px14lmXzoJu6KVYewPmzYbSIhyphenhyphents3eyQ/s1600-h/patrick_swayze.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieuwdXfQ4btchVRKObtmKVXkKKTUUUgMz2z3qKTXjW7KPJYwVrTw28K1HgVLN-AwgyiCv_bjWSxxhccxWIVmb7VyuxHdkvZW6emfzJkBteUv4Px14lmXzoJu6KVYewPmzYbSIhyphenhyphents3eyQ/s400/patrick_swayze.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381489112905377858" border="0" /></a><br />Swayze left behind a wife of 35 years <span style="font-style: italic;">(which I find incredible, because if I become famous, I'm kicking my old lady to the curb...you hear me, you Twilight-loving wretch!? I'm not Edward!!)</span>, and almost 50 big-screen and televison roles. In his honor, I present my top 7 list of Patrick Swayze performances (in no particular order):<br /><br />1) Jed in "Red Dawn" -<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRYwCahH_sPqb9ejwWDiQSgF8drumwQ-QFTNmIU3azX_B2OR4dKPmP5lMLjuI17Y56NNX0wB7nRXkPmNpVcTDIiNyrAXah7Iyl9gTb9RMwVyT1tDaHHTVaHGD7ZV0CGi31PBN5KzEvolA/s1600-h/02patrick-swayze-red-dawn1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 385px; height: 290px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRYwCahH_sPqb9ejwWDiQSgF8drumwQ-QFTNmIU3azX_B2OR4dKPmP5lMLjuI17Y56NNX0wB7nRXkPmNpVcTDIiNyrAXah7Iyl9gTb9RMwVyT1tDaHHTVaHGD7ZV0CGi31PBN5KzEvolA/s400/02patrick-swayze-red-dawn1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381493078609020738" border="0" /></a><br />A rag-tag group of whiny high school kids rise up against stinky Cubans and dirty Commie bastards that take over the good ol U S of A. And they drink hot deer blood. Viva Le Wolverines!!<br />Plot Flaw: Sarah Palin could see Russia from her house and didn't even warn us? What a bitch.<br />Memorable Swayze Quote: "Well, when you grow up...then you'll know these things, Danny. Now get up here and piss in the radiator."<br /><br />2) Sam in "Ghost" -<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh769JkrBFoBdrsApsLlPlnmBvp0PSZ19TsyF9zPpY87skpFM_KeFYSKlPfb2uHPsch3uZmLsP1QrSvY0RSHze7G60cmNDptjY7GRKuzAFpzA5jyKYOHXOSBSfvXjBMRdGfDbNGR2PIKe0/s1600-h/GhostL0603_228x274.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 228px; height: 274px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh769JkrBFoBdrsApsLlPlnmBvp0PSZ19TsyF9zPpY87skpFM_KeFYSKlPfb2uHPsch3uZmLsP1QrSvY0RSHze7G60cmNDptjY7GRKuzAFpzA5jyKYOHXOSBSfvXjBMRdGfDbNGR2PIKe0/s400/GhostL0603_228x274.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381491985835112018" border="0" /></a><br />Murdered man's spirit makes pennies float and compels a psychic to protect his wife from the dude that stabbed him. Oh yeah, he also convinces every woman in the world to buy a pottery wheel. That Righteous Brothers song is surely responsible for countless out-of-wedlock pregnancies.<br />Plot Flaw: Whoopi Goldberg won an Oscar. Not really a plot flaw, but COME ON!<br />Memorable Swayze Quote: "Ditto."<br /><br />3) Darrel in "The Outsiders" -<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibZIQQ5OTVE5rYX5794UiHL57MK1xn7QWyKslXpBM9bdC9O5nD1nWXfdAtn9DNJmr3gu4FhtbGuIA0eaHQVJ7A6fivp3rKeqxMFp71BjQufJga86Q78r5h7fN8rNnYLEc0h4q7VuV4qeg/s1600-h/darry.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 289px; height: 325px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibZIQQ5OTVE5rYX5794UiHL57MK1xn7QWyKslXpBM9bdC9O5nD1nWXfdAtn9DNJmr3gu4FhtbGuIA0eaHQVJ7A6fivp3rKeqxMFp71BjQufJga86Q78r5h7fN8rNnYLEc0h4q7VuV4qeg/s400/darry.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381498144289424370" border="0" /></a><br />Preppies are rude, Billy the Kid uses a butterfly knife, the Karate Kid gets burned, Soul Man has an epiphany, and Swayze is the king of the greaseballs.<br />Plot Flaw: Diane Lane doesn't get naked<br />Memorable Swayze Quote: "You smoke more than a pack today and I'll skin you. Understood?"<br /><br />4) Johnny in "Dirty Dancing"<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhth9muxhVm2UgpIFFu-_bdjZ3TBIKnFyMqdgmf_M244m1Xm4uIepY7Sg8ujniTPEAzjm6xSRn5O7IzoOl8aNHV50Bc6CN4uozB01BEceNkwZic6A0HKSo4E1eTgiLUZ-Z4cw6eR7SF9i4/s1600-h/patrickswayzeDD.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 264px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhth9muxhVm2UgpIFFu-_bdjZ3TBIKnFyMqdgmf_M244m1Xm4uIepY7Sg8ujniTPEAzjm6xSRn5O7IzoOl8aNHV50Bc6CN4uozB01BEceNkwZic6A0HKSo4E1eTgiLUZ-Z4cw6eR7SF9i4/s400/patrickswayzeDD.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381502496581933938" border="0" /></a><br />Big-nosed Jewish girl goes to uppity Catskills summer camp with her parents, learns to shake her ass to somewhat tolerable 60's music, convinces father to help woman that had back-alley abortion, has sex with older man-whore, and stars in grand finale of talent show to a song from three decades in the future.<br />Plot Flaw: Baby is too young to drive a car, but has sex with a dude in his late 20's, and somehow everybody is okay with this? Pedophilia's never been so well received.<br />Memorbale Swayze Quote: "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." - except maybe her father, you creepy pederast.<br /><br />5) Adrian in SNL Chippendale's sketch with Chris Farley -<br /><br /><br /><div><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" height="348" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/xu9mx_patrick-swayze-chippendale_dating"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/xu9mx_patrick-swayze-chippendale_dating" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="348" width="480"></embed></object><br /><b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xu9mx_patrick-swayze-chippendale_dating"> Patrick Swayze - Chippendale </a></b><br /><i>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/tressage">tressage</a>. -<br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></i><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><i><br /></i>One of the funniest bits in Saturday Night Live history, and I just had to include it.<br /><br />6) Dalton in "Roadhouse" -<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGU9UBXAQRoJfFYOL0b13Ra9us0flViLtLCsay_H1De_-brQD6Y-o_M7OT0oFYf3Zafl_9cGPB_nngZmWTBdXt68dgnTZxN3_QjXZ76FtgiQZMNthGCVWRjOihj4UHcoNG1qqHVAbt0W8/s1600-h/roadhouse3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 244px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGU9UBXAQRoJfFYOL0b13Ra9us0flViLtLCsay_H1De_-brQD6Y-o_M7OT0oFYf3Zafl_9cGPB_nngZmWTBdXt68dgnTZxN3_QjXZ76FtgiQZMNthGCVWRjOihj4UHcoNG1qqHVAbt0W8/s400/roadhouse3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381511579429358642" border="0" /></a><br />Bouncer cleans up shit-kicker bar with the help of that old biker dude from Mask, shows bare ass to homely waitress, and rips out a guys throat. Jeff Healey never plays "Angel Eyes".<br />Plot Flaw: None, it's the perfect ass-whipping testosterone-laden man movie.<br />Memorable Swayze Quote: "Pain don't hurt."<br /><br />7) Bodhi in "Point Break" -<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje10EcXj9W0ml0Vp-daWf-_vOLjurw0r_kDlPifT41qaoaU9iqZlBZIh8J-r1pYEW9pEPjhjc98ebPfj51nhKnKL-ynQtoK-6-wpqZEn_-YiBMk2IG-mz4orNN5jUqR6lXCm4Z29xS6T0/s1600-h/05patrick-swayze-point-break1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 385px; height: 362px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje10EcXj9W0ml0Vp-daWf-_vOLjurw0r_kDlPifT41qaoaU9iqZlBZIh8J-r1pYEW9pEPjhjc98ebPfj51nhKnKL-ynQtoK-6-wpqZEn_-YiBMk2IG-mz4orNN5jUqR6lXCm4Z29xS6T0/s400/05patrick-swayze-point-break1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381514029896870338" border="0" /></a><br />Two Feds (Secreatariat lookalike and the dude from the Matrix) go undercover to infiltrate bank robbers/surfers/skydivers, many "Whoa''s" ensue, Swayze dies at the end...or does he?<br />Plot Flaw: Gary Busey and Keanu Reeves are the FBI agents. I'll suspend reality when watching a movie, but that's just ridiculous.<br />Memorable Swayze Quote: "Adios, Amigo."<br /><br />Adios, indeed.<br /><br /></div>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-80872439182875340542009-09-11T22:58:00.005-04:002009-09-12T12:19:22.286-04:00Joe Wilson douchebag follow-up!Gotta love Corbin Bernsen and the quick turnover for this video:<br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" id="ordie_player_776b204031" height="256" width="384"><param name="movie" value="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf"><param name="flashvars" value="key=776b204031"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed flashvars="key=776b204031" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" quality="high" src="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf" name="ordie_player_776b204031" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="256" width="384"></embed></object><div style="text-align: left; font-size: x-small; margin-top: 0pt; width: 384px;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/776b204031/you-lie-with-joe-wilson" title="from Corbin Bernsen and Eric Appel">"YOU LIE" with Joe Wilson</a> from <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/corbin_bernsen">Corbin Bernsen</a></div>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-4139872378581328792009-09-10T11:21:00.009-04:002009-09-24T12:10:05.610-04:00Douches Wild!<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><style>
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</style><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">I was watching the Presidential Address on health care last night, and about halfway through the speech, South Carolina Republican Joe Wilson shouted, “You lie!”</span></span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Now regardless of what side of the aisle you sit on, heckling a sitting President as a member of Congress seems pretty unprofessional.</span></span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">He may as well have just yelled “Look at me!</span></span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Look at me!” because it’s obvious that his intention was to get his name in the paper so that his red state constituents will back this “good ‘ol boy” in his next election. <br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%; font-style: italic;">“Hey Billy Bob, y’all see that Wilson feller give it to Osama on the TV last night?</span><span style="font-size: 100%; font-style: italic;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%; font-style: italic;">That there’s my kind of American.</span><span style="font-size: 100%; font-style: italic;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%; font-style: italic;">If'in</span><span style="font-size: 100%; font-style: italic;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%; font-style: italic;">I wadn’t a felon, and knew what a lie-bary was, I’d go to there and vote fer him, yes sir.”</span><br />
</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZIPwC80WsRQG0ZiIYFh-TgcIxsEA9TVOzbBYvcvBVEzYhlr7fH8_gZfMhxUhM9e9MT4ersa_IrZqSXZbztd0iAGgOVbJObprv6m3KEVT9zOvPSeEX4J6daS3RaVuAuv7syIEXK6mHl6A/s1600-h/ac106_redneck-toilet.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379859608194819778" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZIPwC80WsRQG0ZiIYFh-TgcIxsEA9TVOzbBYvcvBVEzYhlr7fH8_gZfMhxUhM9e9MT4ersa_IrZqSXZbztd0iAGgOVbJObprv6m3KEVT9zOvPSeEX4J6daS3RaVuAuv7syIEXK6mHl6A/s400/ac106_redneck-toilet.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 285px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">In honor of Joe Wilson’s unnecessary outburst, I present a list of douchebags in no particular order:</span><br />
</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzhiQ7klamBUY_Shggs8n5sfMdEwMJl0M2vP8sN7EbzjA1CO5T8rMzE-WrAjkPo7Jv3cX_UHimDSBEhh1bhKROhqx-Nz3P5U2M3q5afI5DtoIt_wj7FWYZ-plWq-gOwIlguomDJn6dIUE/s1600-h/douchebag.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379859614827577186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzhiQ7klamBUY_Shggs8n5sfMdEwMJl0M2vP8sN7EbzjA1CO5T8rMzE-WrAjkPo7Jv3cX_UHimDSBEhh1bhKROhqx-Nz3P5U2M3q5afI5DtoIt_wj7FWYZ-plWq-gOwIlguomDJn6dIUE/s400/douchebag.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 293px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;">1. </span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;">Actor Charlie Sheen –</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSCiFxTSweHv3Ju3JpVHd1avhyZ-g8HPykr71xoYg3f-Npim1CaTCRxAfQClKfpc3Diy-_zpUOJbJV8PXcqii9K6QbZDm-KyJg5QPALP9kQPw5KWF833OjTsxux5c-f84PMMseGM5_zc0/s1600-h/Charlie_Sheen.2jpg.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379859622652703746" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSCiFxTSweHv3Ju3JpVHd1avhyZ-g8HPykr71xoYg3f-Npim1CaTCRxAfQClKfpc3Diy-_zpUOJbJV8PXcqii9K6QbZDm-KyJg5QPALP9kQPw5KWF833OjTsxux5c-f84PMMseGM5_zc0/s400/Charlie_Sheen.2jpg.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 282px;" /></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">The former addict of porno, drugs, prostitutes, and gambling, has recently scripted an “imagined” interview with the President concerning the September 11 attacks.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Apparently, this douchebag is a conspiracy theorist and believes the events of 9/11 were perpetrated by our own government and that Osama Bin Laden is on the U.S. payroll.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Look, Charles, I’m sure there are much smarter men than you looking into this.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Why don’t you just get back to making more episodes of that completely brainless sitcom you’re in on ABC?</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Although…</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Ya know, Charlie, on second thought, you should cancel that sitcom and focus all of your energy on researching 9/11 and never get in front of a camera again.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Ever.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Never ever. Please. <br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"> <br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;">2. </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Guys with fake tans, spiked hair, and tight t-shirts that call each other “brah” –</span></span><br />
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</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4SUjX3IM0vPN5vplUml71SXmoDBU10LOeXxep4xUtQ5FeitcF9QWzi0aSTjNKf6BXV6oM43ahpNf6aOrVuaGlDaSkOuYpdVKW9-4JEc01MDE_ZcHc4jdlgz1inU8dIwxuJ6n5mMKQ_9k/s1600-h/cocks.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379859627762281538" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4SUjX3IM0vPN5vplUml71SXmoDBU10LOeXxep4xUtQ5FeitcF9QWzi0aSTjNKf6BXV6oM43ahpNf6aOrVuaGlDaSkOuYpdVKW9-4JEc01MDE_ZcHc4jdlgz1inU8dIwxuJ6n5mMKQ_9k/s400/cocks.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">At this point, they’ve actually become parodies of themselves.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Baggadouche.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"> <br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;">3. </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Television Executives</span></span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">–</span></span><br />
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</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDTDxE_zmkK56PLQclXspCvIiECqNz-QFyctS96kn08dZmPwbZObHW2M3az2zgW1q881ZVuQsmCXhDdzKq2qv3dM1E2hqS_ZtkPtFBpxgUTqd5P253zk2KeoSjwCv4_02DdnfJHH8DZ24/s1600-h/morons20copy.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379859635899815106" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDTDxE_zmkK56PLQclXspCvIiECqNz-QFyctS96kn08dZmPwbZObHW2M3az2zgW1q881ZVuQsmCXhDdzKq2qv3dM1E2hqS_ZtkPtFBpxgUTqd5P253zk2KeoSjwCv4_02DdnfJHH8DZ24/s400/morons20copy.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Let me see if I’ve got this straight.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">“Arrested Development” was cancelled after winning six Emmy Awards and a Golden Globe in only two and a half seasons, but was essentially too sharp and witty for FOX, a network that showcases cartoons and “Prison Break”.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">“According To Jim” was on the air for eight years…EIGHT!!</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">How the hell is that possible?</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">At least “Arrested Development” was original.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">This stupid ass “Jim” show is about a fat guy married to a skinny woman…and they have kids.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Holy shit!</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">That’s brilliant!</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Nobody’s ever witnessed a sitcom with that family dynamic in the history of television!</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Stupid Douchebags!</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;">4. </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Musician Axl Rose –</span></span><br />
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</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Z0pRI-8rzPXPueIF4eQmYecopqH95yF8LcrWArge0WWE9UjLVoFFlrOYwvB8nV5uAeCKyzh6jPmb3ZOTpOPZyQZJkI80zaO6SKzOEShsut92309nUlqfaz4r-yw_saDoSv55W8Q4FOA/s1600-h/15761.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379860284868825378" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Z0pRI-8rzPXPueIF4eQmYecopqH95yF8LcrWArge0WWE9UjLVoFFlrOYwvB8nV5uAeCKyzh6jPmb3ZOTpOPZyQZJkI80zaO6SKzOEShsut92309nUlqfaz4r-yw_saDoSv55W8Q4FOA/s400/15761.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 366px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">His ego ruined one of the great rock bands of all time.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">And he had cornrows in his hair.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">And he got to have sex with Stephanie Seymour.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Trifecta of douchery.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;">5. </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Girls that pucker up in every picture they take –</span></span><br />
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</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWDtC8IpuXG9qOGSJVx2gjQtvF_AEhLxr03SdK1DIIcry8mnRLL_zxy8Rwf6S7p8XOkydEjxjS0F_b7OWFmwii7yk-eD3f4QIxi1DGVEh2iBKrdJj4RTl0JLgkpbTeUHMRALNs-B_eGPE/s1600-h/DIRTY_phpcy76jm.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379860288566988162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWDtC8IpuXG9qOGSJVx2gjQtvF_AEhLxr03SdK1DIIcry8mnRLL_zxy8Rwf6S7p8XOkydEjxjS0F_b7OWFmwii7yk-eD3f4QIxi1DGVEh2iBKrdJj4RTl0JLgkpbTeUHMRALNs-B_eGPE/s400/DIRTY_phpcy76jm.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Why has this become a trend?</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Knock it off you silly whores.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">You look like a largemouth bass.</span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;">6. </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Producers Mary-Ellis Bunim and Jon Murray –</span></span><br />
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</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR2B8KOUEH2kF2OegWEPNSIpSEyP9GgvZrBvIDUU4p7miVnER7uf4k4RsmXkF3pTwBEW9SWjhh17N77Ab3CZFvgHHVAne-1TmVVbxKvrxQXy2HoVM3gcQwX_T5w4La0QhhHU1rLZfm7xw/s1600-h/reality-tv2.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379860289750315794" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR2B8KOUEH2kF2OegWEPNSIpSEyP9GgvZrBvIDUU4p7miVnER7uf4k4RsmXkF3pTwBEW9SWjhh17N77Ab3CZFvgHHVAne-1TmVVbxKvrxQXy2HoVM3gcQwX_T5w4La0QhhHU1rLZfm7xw/s400/reality-tv2.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">In 1992, they created the genesis of reality television with “The Real World,” and a genre was launched.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">17 years later, we have “Goat Swap,”</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">“Who Wants to Bang a Midget?” and “Let’s All Marry A Fatty.”</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">We now live in a world where William Hung, Tila Tequila, and Richard Hatch are famous, and more people vote for “American Idol” than do for the Presidential election.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">And it all started with Bunim/Murray Productions.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Thanks for dumbing-down America, you douchebags.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"> <br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;">7. </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Frat Boys –</span></span><br />
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</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPpgCZGzmlMxEaMwSBa1qvODt8RFtOIdC3CT-hRRsML5xv3ExlI3TLjgDF8ffzgdm5q8nr0TyqhOSzdlEpN7v_W9FSvuZsP6GDLBPlyqYRjjCaAI4bx8zfngv1glEZzY7HPnScdK1ZjEc/s1600-h/douchebag2.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379860302007939826" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPpgCZGzmlMxEaMwSBa1qvODt8RFtOIdC3CT-hRRsML5xv3ExlI3TLjgDF8ffzgdm5q8nr0TyqhOSzdlEpN7v_W9FSvuZsP6GDLBPlyqYRjjCaAI4bx8zfngv1glEZzY7HPnScdK1ZjEc/s400/douchebag2.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Don’t believe me?</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Try talking to one.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"> <br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;">8. </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Movie Critic Joel Siegel –</span></span><br />
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</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidC9ZuASYQ0uPNnWGxL5PaepN3cYD5ilbbTlvS1EkyxVm2fX6ZPUD62_G_ztPZhCx3w_lpMsCJCdpH2p2KWSDR8w8xysmCpQSOM7B3tpronlW-AGOphHLRTMNttvmGlkZr290xwI0pQoo/s1600-h/joelsiegel.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379860305917842514" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidC9ZuASYQ0uPNnWGxL5PaepN3cYD5ilbbTlvS1EkyxVm2fX6ZPUD62_G_ztPZhCx3w_lpMsCJCdpH2p2KWSDR8w8xysmCpQSOM7B3tpronlW-AGOphHLRTMNttvmGlkZr290xwI0pQoo/s400/joelsiegel.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 277px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">In 2006, Siegel walked out of a screening of Clerks II about 40 minutes into the flick.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">But in true douchebag fashion, he didn’t go quietly.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Rather, he yelled out “Time to go!” and “This is the first movie I’ve walked out of in 30 fucking years!”</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Why be courteous to your fellow moviegoers, when being a self-centered jackass is so much easier?</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">By the way, that movie was funny as hell, and Joel Siegel is dead, so…yeah.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"> <br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;">9. </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">The </span></span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">entire cast of “The View” – </span></span><br />
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</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqlJ-fwdG7FFDmgLRcsDM1jcXgEFel-j7XP0ntd2qWVx6w9rSPGdcP7dChYkYb96hWsX9RaF-lIp2-QYQoJ2ZO7Hmv4jx3dA8VZQ2y2ATIqvm2P8ReLBtcuyWzRMO8IZc9cfkNIwL3v4Q/s1600-h/0000041852_20070802150607.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379860757151934658" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqlJ-fwdG7FFDmgLRcsDM1jcXgEFel-j7XP0ntd2qWVx6w9rSPGdcP7dChYkYb96hWsX9RaF-lIp2-QYQoJ2ZO7Hmv4jx3dA8VZQ2y2ATIqvm2P8ReLBtcuyWzRMO8IZc9cfkNIwL3v4Q/s400/0000041852_20070802150607.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 315px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Imagine standing in the middle of a cornfield filled with crows, and all you can hear is a cacophony of “CAW!</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">CAW!</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">CAW!</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">CAW!” at an incessantly high volume.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">That seems to be the premise of this show that “empowers” women by reducing themselves to the lowest common denominator of arguing, whiny, bitchy little brats that try to win arguments by out-douching each other.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"> <br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 100%;">10. </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Author Stephanie Meyer – </span></span> <br />
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</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu0Ppm3_Ke84GDW2tzbRCeQVmDaOfL4StXwZAvMMs5IOQBR94_Ln-Jnuiih-iZ4J05FcKw7P_OWjbZcBwn-i7BUkQ4JaNOSj5-ESJF5Tw3koHlu4mcHREf8OYKtiPrzykRKYqaGj8SFbA/s1600-h/Stephanie_Meyer_1122636c.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379860758296899298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu0Ppm3_Ke84GDW2tzbRCeQVmDaOfL4StXwZAvMMs5IOQBR94_Ln-Jnuiih-iZ4J05FcKw7P_OWjbZcBwn-i7BUkQ4JaNOSj5-ESJF5Tw3koHlu4mcHREf8OYKtiPrzykRKYqaGj8SFbA/s400/Stephanie_Meyer_1122636c.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 250px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">This douchebag authored the Twilight series and brainwashed my wife:</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><a href="http://floridachad.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-wife-left-me.html">http://floridachad.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-wife-left-me.html</a></span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">This is obviously just a small representation of the douchebag population.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">I could fill a book with the names of lying politicians, hypocritical Christians, ignorant racists, corporate thieves, and pompous yuppie assholes.</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Hmm, I wonder if I could get an Oprah Book Club sticker on “The Big Book of Douchebags?”</span><br />
</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9WZCftTaHtwXwYqqYyAErXDcdL00cA_IGhpFuhKBfF8eUrlZFXlTHROB97anFw0eIsB81q8HE-uih1ui5-wUghcaQ5vS6BaBVq99E8Kg_ulObOt64B2bCMK6j_l004hYc35wyYQJiSA/s1600-h/2d54cd2146_oprah.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379860766530538690" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9WZCftTaHtwXwYqqYyAErXDcdL00cA_IGhpFuhKBfF8eUrlZFXlTHROB97anFw0eIsB81q8HE-uih1ui5-wUghcaQ5vS6BaBVq99E8Kg_ulObOt64B2bCMK6j_l004hYc35wyYQJiSA/s400/2d54cd2146_oprah.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 275px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 315px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Yeah?!</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 100%;">Thanks…you douchebag!</span><br />
</div>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-15744537536556197842009-09-03T08:27:00.017-04:002009-09-03T10:31:07.302-04:00The Tell-Tale Shart<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CChad%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> 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{mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:389428777; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-675090906 67698705 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-text:"%1\)"; mso-level-tab-stop:none; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--><span style="font-size:100%;">I now have one less pair of boxer shorts.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">You see, everyone tells you that beans make you toot, but back in July, I discovered the REAL magical fruit…dried apricots.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I’ve eaten them all my life, but always in moderation.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">That fateful night in July, I ate two full bowls of these crap-tastic suckers.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The following day, what my digestive system went through is nearly indescribable.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Picture those scenes on Black Friday, when shoppers are lined up thousands deep outside of Wal-mart, and when the doors open at 5am, they explode through them with elbows flying and punches thrown while stepping on the fallen bodies of their fellow shoppers.
<br />
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-T50wKoYgbIZAof_ISKV9KypahdrTzfp5lnkcxxlu1LmrR9IbgHt9qCIwg1YEppWDHcZtgWFzExZY9TDs_71UzEhB_ybkvwFUdAYncI0Iq33FFMoNKhsRWQ6c0qVoxpoXI6-Hs4Hz-2k/s1600-h/large_black-friday-shoppers.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-T50wKoYgbIZAof_ISKV9KypahdrTzfp5lnkcxxlu1LmrR9IbgHt9qCIwg1YEppWDHcZtgWFzExZY9TDs_71UzEhB_ybkvwFUdAYncI0Iq33FFMoNKhsRWQ6c0qVoxpoXI6-Hs4Hz-2k/s400/large_black-friday-shoppers.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377223874509540738" border="0" /></a></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I’m sure you see where I’m going here, but for those not following, imagine that those people are human excrement and Wal-mart is a toilet…which, come to think of it, isn’t that far of a stretch.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">It was a day I’ll never forget.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">It started so innocently, a few farts in the morning, nothing unusual.
<br /></span></p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY2UEAWwOikKvOHLaV7PnJ871Dn9a4ZmtL8nZMSlBB69uEKNVpSzPrfoM2Bpdm19fi9x5UhlfAO-H2AirBY1CcX61jayaW5LPwPYLFImZ13Oimbmwj2ZKw2e7SIvCgbojajC22g9tt4_c/s1600-h/202px-Fart.svg.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 202px; height: 202px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY2UEAWwOikKvOHLaV7PnJ871Dn9a4ZmtL8nZMSlBB69uEKNVpSzPrfoM2Bpdm19fi9x5UhlfAO-H2AirBY1CcX61jayaW5LPwPYLFImZ13Oimbmwj2ZKw2e7SIvCgbojajC22g9tt4_c/s400/202px-Fart.svg.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377229548750093874" border="0" /></a><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">But after a few cups of coffee, my bowels UNLEASHED HELL!</span></p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguxO-9DOJWm-_9dM5Oqw_IB6tfOLAOoZKDtm2j0eTTjA6dwsMc3Y2JlRymS-p16O5Y_zfuUNdDlZTsmeWd3k6ZX46-mRapXi9Rg-5AqSjkK6s0IuyWHWBfxuNGG_J6GVHdLbo5h_dg8oQ/s1600-h/unleashhorsepowerhell48.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 173px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguxO-9DOJWm-_9dM5Oqw_IB6tfOLAOoZKDtm2j0eTTjA6dwsMc3Y2JlRymS-p16O5Y_zfuUNdDlZTsmeWd3k6ZX46-mRapXi9Rg-5AqSjkK6s0IuyWHWBfxuNGG_J6GVHdLbo5h_dg8oQ/s400/unleashhorsepowerhell48.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377231591145602114" border="0" /></a><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I’ll try to describe this as delicately as I can without getting overly disgusting.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Let me just say that I was running from the couch to the toilet so quickly, that Usain Bolt gave me a gold medal.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I went through a 2000 Flushes puck in a mere 10 hours and enough toilet paper to supply every high school homecoming festivity in America.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">And the inside of the toilet looked like I was either chumming the ocean for a great white or trying to replicate a Jackson Pollock canvas.</span></p><span style="font-size:100%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXjUjJ45hbrxCkLr8nDdBNlyckZ0iF-ocZwezlfKr7x36GL-RDlzFi0Dg2D8vowYygm6sACZ0AShbp1UjpzpbgcYtx5WVCZ8CK7Bvlk1JJ8BHcSQJcHBIcU-lH5f6j04ViCyp0zVXi0ng/s1600-h/painting_jackson_pollock.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 394px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXjUjJ45hbrxCkLr8nDdBNlyckZ0iF-ocZwezlfKr7x36GL-RDlzFi0Dg2D8vowYygm6sACZ0AShbp1UjpzpbgcYtx5WVCZ8CK7Bvlk1JJ8BHcSQJcHBIcU-lH5f6j04ViCyp0zVXi0ng/s400/painting_jackson_pollock.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377223894305416050" border="0" /></a></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">And the noises coming from my backdoor trots sounded like the horn section of a Milwaukee polka band combined with a 4<sup>th</sup> of July fireworks celebration.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bOdpX6dcrU4&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_detailpage&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bOdpX6dcrU4&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_detailpage&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="344" width="425"></embed></object>
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">And the odor…oh god, the odor.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">A funereal bouquet of decomposition.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Imagine Rosie O’Donnell running the New York Marathon while wearing leather hot pants in 110 degree heat, and then when she crosses the finish line, you have to smell her pungent taint.</span></p><span style="font-size:100%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgGgRPJujR4R4yl4nvvrJVvrMJ8RizR_2-qYqii-dTngmWvz-oh1b5ROlo29FUAqCLpAJ7ud0lSliyzf1iT-AgPzQPbkTgvDrC44jq97IUi2RXxcgAu8xwQWclcU_hZpmGsiJL7UojiDA/s1600-h/rosie.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 327px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgGgRPJujR4R4yl4nvvrJVvrMJ8RizR_2-qYqii-dTngmWvz-oh1b5ROlo29FUAqCLpAJ7ud0lSliyzf1iT-AgPzQPbkTgvDrC44jq97IUi2RXxcgAu8xwQWclcU_hZpmGsiJL7UojiDA/s400/rosie.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377224922393880514" border="0" /></a></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">And with this bout of Montezuma’s Revenge came the gallons of perspiration.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Seriously, I was sweating like a gerbil in a gay bar.</span></p><span style="font-size:100%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpxqbXcC3hYHySgz62Du6Z1-O0uRVvgEP39mUB5UiTxxXQJvhWZWZF6ztY1zCVZ-VhTtDzVFKIYnrEpA5nVS93r-jWylhHELc39WljeaACCWyRKd8SUtTqxc6-4DRUY4rBU9jCJJo6bfk/s1600-h/oh-god-gerbil-jammer.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpxqbXcC3hYHySgz62Du6Z1-O0uRVvgEP39mUB5UiTxxXQJvhWZWZF6ztY1zCVZ-VhTtDzVFKIYnrEpA5nVS93r-jWylhHELc39WljeaACCWyRKd8SUtTqxc6-4DRUY4rBU9jCJJo6bfk/s400/oh-god-gerbil-jammer.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377223885397583746" border="0" /></a></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">By the end of the evening, my rectum was raw and I’d developed tendinitis in my elbow from all the wiping.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Another painful lesson learned in my stupid ass life.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">The reason I’m writing about this right now is twofold:</span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;font-family:arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="">1)<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >For all of you people spending insane amounts of money on colonics, a 36oz bag of dried apricots will run you $6.12 at Sam’s Club. I just saved you a shitload of money. Pun intended.</span></p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl1_newHsNTcFybdzQqisjqhCP7cLeCsOxEQy9obSElbyYgAfo4212NxN7pNDc79tVmr-VIgZR2ccXqachFdkPnaCS758NWCvRYao6w5PMcgWN693p00QwmMZWF771nA2r9CYedvsYYmE/s1600-h/geico_gecko.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 207px; height: 190px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl1_newHsNTcFybdzQqisjqhCP7cLeCsOxEQy9obSElbyYgAfo4212NxN7pNDc79tVmr-VIgZR2ccXqachFdkPnaCS758NWCvRYao6w5PMcgWN693p00QwmMZWF771nA2r9CYedvsYYmE/s400/geico_gecko.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377229555557263138" border="0" /></a><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-indent: -0.25in;font-family:arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="">2)<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > I know the current price because I bought it today. And I’m snacking on some as I write this blog. And I’m wondering what would happen if I ate three bowls of them.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkKSRm_9isEC9nqKHq6TSQMXN4SqihLanIQSTyRAvb13P8udMOcw4XTTsXVefMYA4ZkYAxImfxPQHRb-g36A35c5qOzGyg7h5cLIfubIUKDs_iehedV-FICIwal1NE5pnMWMve-1-MwYQ/s1600-h/nuclear-bomb.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 350px; height: 295px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkKSRm_9isEC9nqKHq6TSQMXN4SqihLanIQSTyRAvb13P8udMOcw4XTTsXVefMYA4ZkYAxImfxPQHRb-g36A35c5qOzGyg7h5cLIfubIUKDs_iehedV-FICIwal1NE5pnMWMve-1-MwYQ/s400/nuclear-bomb.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377223879354998194" border="0" /></a></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Actually, it would be more accurate to say that I’m seriously considering eating three bowls of these little fecal forcers.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Why?</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Why would I do that to myself after everything I just wrote?</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Because I’m fuckin stupid, and maybe, just maybe, I will get my 15 minutes of fame. Even if it is just a brief mention in the New England Journal of Medicine as the first person to literally shit their brains out.</span></p> Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-8334482142427423642009-08-30T02:28:00.008-04:002009-09-24T12:11:36.593-04:00My wife left me...<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CChad%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CChad%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CChad%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">So my wife finally left me for another man, a much, much older man. His name is Edward and was introduced to my wife by her friend, Jen, who I now hate. This 98 year-old Edward douche lives in the Pacific Northwest and, oh yeah, he’s also a vampire…a vegetarian vampire. And look at this guy…you could show a friggin IMAX movie on his forehead.<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5NKD0cWSarZ6TJrXvhtbyvNH0ehf2OjIGrRhiFTM7mfuEUuAlijTcZ1tpPh_zKUfY3pVg0vYeGGkIDR-is79FNZjRxw1UsLLwA7E1kFkr9WAlQAVBHmb39ZUHop1sdxKVCkipoBPThKg/s1600-h/robert-pattinson.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5375640493483543010" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5NKD0cWSarZ6TJrXvhtbyvNH0ehf2OjIGrRhiFTM7mfuEUuAlijTcZ1tpPh_zKUfY3pVg0vYeGGkIDR-is79FNZjRxw1UsLLwA7E1kFkr9WAlQAVBHmb39ZUHop1sdxKVCkipoBPThKg/s400/robert-pattinson.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a> <br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">In case you haven’t figured it out by now, my wife didn’t literally leave me, just figuratively. She’s contracted a really bad case of Twilightis. This highly contagious virus is attacking 13 year-old girls who wish they were women, and women who wish they were still 13 year-old girls.<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">To all the men out there, if you’re dating a woman and she is reading the Twilight series, I recommend that you <u>get out now</u>. I’m not joking around, you should seriously cut all ties with your girlfriend before I finish this sentence, because it’s inevitable that you’ll never be good enough for her anyways. If you are in that unfortunate group of married men whose wife has started to read the books then you are likely screwed, but you still have a chance. I have designed a foolproof test. What you need to do is put on a pair of boxer shorts and nothing else, then walk up to your wife while she’s reading one of those devil books, knock it out of her hands and shout, “NO MORE!”, then when the book’s on the floor, kick it across the room. Finally, pull your penis out through the front hole of the boxers, rotate you hips so that your penis whirls around like a helicopter blade, and shout, “I’m better than Edward!”.<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">If she laughs and hugs you, then congratulations because I just saved your marriage. If she gets pissed at you, then you shouldn’t be married to an unfunny frigid bitch like that and you should leave her, so congratulations because I just saved you from a lifetime of misery. Either way, my system is right.<br />
</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijHenVQj7lkZV5AktxrOJgO5Ew24HWOorX2ODHfoAl1Zw3s0Z2XfxwP0ons_DuNwU0C1Y9JfKxwGKixWP4g5XnAozqX4goTVSHMzaaRwZi3rH9veYpPGym5F3INm6x8gOgh9wN824XTVM/s1600-h/borat.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5375640829374632226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijHenVQj7lkZV5AktxrOJgO5Ew24HWOorX2ODHfoAl1Zw3s0Z2XfxwP0ons_DuNwU0C1Y9JfKxwGKixWP4g5XnAozqX4goTVSHMzaaRwZi3rH9veYpPGym5F3INm6x8gOgh9wN824XTVM/s400/borat.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 311px;" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Now I need to talk to the women.<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Are you kidding me? Vampires? Really!? Are you so blinded by romanticism that you completely overlook everything that is wrong about being with one of these vampires? Let me break it down for you:<br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">1) Vampire Farts: The vampires in these stories are “vegetarians”, and I know what happens to your colon when you eat lots of veggies. Believe me, girls, if you go to bed with one of these vampires, you will bear witness to a thunderstorm of flatulence and a 100% chance of dutch oven.<br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">2) Pedophilia: Edward Cullen was born in 1901 and Bella is 17. That shit is just gross, unless you’re in Mississippi.<br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">3) Stephanie Meyer is a liar: Vampires have no reflection and cannot come out in the sunlight…those are facts (as far as facts go based on fictitious people). She writes that they can see themselves in mirrors and can come out during the day. Really?! Tell that to the poor schlubs that failed with their “For Vampires Only” stores in shopping malls that closed at sunset.<br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">4) Inevitable Depression: The story ends, but the reader’s are still ravenously awaiting more…but there is nothing left. Now they have to re-integrate into the public after weeks of reading hibernation. <br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><o:p> </o:p><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Listen to me ladies, it’s a book not a lifestyle. The story is over, good run while it lasted, blah, blah, blah. If your husbands have survived this experience, then you should cherish him, big jim, and the the twins. I don’t have a nice, neat wrapup for this because apparently Stephanie Meyer wants to rewrite the same stories from different perspectives. 4 more books? That are same as the last 4? Ummm, no thanks. No one is stupid enough to fall for that.<br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Nobody tell my wife, though, cuz she’ll totally buy those new books.<br />
</div>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-65639482785016651882009-08-17T21:43:00.033-04:002009-08-28T22:53:30.681-04:00Monkey See, Monkey Do, Yeah<span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >I was looking forward to writing a blog about my experiences in West Palm Beach this weekend where I attended two Dave Matthews Band concerts (my 35th and 36th overall), but due to a lack of creativity, I've handed over writing duties to my primate pal, Proudess.<br />He came back to me today with this:<br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Friday, August 14, 2009</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />I'm so excited to go on my first ever road trip today. We're heading down to south Florida for what I'm expecting to be a debaucherous weekend of drinking booze and eating bananas and then to periodically stop chewing and looking around with an angry expression to make sure no one's plotting to steal them. I'm not big enough to drive, but I'm an excellent navigator.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl1xfWR0-6sJl6pSMqKl0zM4prqzJntOS9tYJ1b-rDIjOmhEjbrdmm_JbIsCqOXeJZ49hYS7a2B5xTpm8Vd3suHtqQEz5b5LWhQl_IbNA2WzUAzzk1w3ytebd19SJWsuPJ2gHkLhqPakQ/s1600-h/P1000616.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl1xfWR0-6sJl6pSMqKl0zM4prqzJntOS9tYJ1b-rDIjOmhEjbrdmm_JbIsCqOXeJZ49hYS7a2B5xTpm8Vd3suHtqQEz5b5LWhQl_IbNA2WzUAzzk1w3ytebd19SJWsuPJ2gHkLhqPakQ/s400/P1000616.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371120448209835410" border="0" /></a><br />We rolled into the PGA National Resort in Palm Beach Gardens in the early afternoon, and it's a gorgeous hotel. It'll sure beat sleeping in a tree.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-2RBWlJtAugJFHf-7z5dNezoOsBovK0s8DevS6X3TVVW1tqwu8wvwuMVGiN77NdOko06tifGYHZ7mdkqHybq1qkDqBAi4a7P1n7t0ldPMAM4OhL4dGO0Uve1iGJKn-4Artk5eYNmlW2o/s1600-h/P1000639.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-2RBWlJtAugJFHf-7z5dNezoOsBovK0s8DevS6X3TVVW1tqwu8wvwuMVGiN77NdOko06tifGYHZ7mdkqHybq1qkDqBAi4a7P1n7t0ldPMAM4OhL4dGO0Uve1iGJKn-4Artk5eYNmlW2o/s400/P1000639.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371121741990513986" border="0" /></a><br />And check out this pool area.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwQQX_j4fv5hlWu4hvee13IklyMtdA6px-4hlPCKRX3HIkYZcZC8acoO-U2u3IjsmCFTR12Tv5LzTEeki0y_rfwEmP3OUOhV6Gc64wuV5ZVnVFCNXsk9mwPS2qXyVLqHh2az7eTo3C6GU/s1600-h/P1000618.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwQQX_j4fv5hlWu4hvee13IklyMtdA6px-4hlPCKRX3HIkYZcZC8acoO-U2u3IjsmCFTR12Tv5LzTEeki0y_rfwEmP3OUOhV6Gc64wuV5ZVnVFCNXsk9mwPS2qXyVLqHh2az7eTo3C6GU/s400/P1000618.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371123710060877250" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Here's me enjoying my first mai tai.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkt1PR1V6Q4mWJCLakaP_kiGILGEpGegrosOLhp7TZs8Y_jYYBPA3hGc37KEoEGJXDUAlC2YyeaJchE0jI_vKG-LCvug9zk20qc6XttzzONhZ3u0VCQk-4QEYtC8DoBm7cojjB-YdwPm4/s1600-h/P1000617.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkt1PR1V6Q4mWJCLakaP_kiGILGEpGegrosOLhp7TZs8Y_jYYBPA3hGc37KEoEGJXDUAlC2YyeaJchE0jI_vKG-LCvug9zk20qc6XttzzONhZ3u0VCQk-4QEYtC8DoBm7cojjB-YdwPm4/s400/P1000617.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371124793240545298" border="0" /></a><br />I need to cool off because I'm hotter than a ring-tailed lemur eyeballing a lar gibbon in May - it's a rainforest thang, you wouldn't understand.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgj1X-x6i2ufusEeWZ8V4bQG3LwXXwW_DtR-HuY8uHwWqqvZOV84too41-xz5k3zzBeC3qtH0UexVwIsaJae-FJsPmgbOTqh0T_UfkUGnipz74BdDF3dQ67WmOSjDWZ3VefRS73pUywm0/s1600-h/P1000641.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgj1X-x6i2ufusEeWZ8V4bQG3LwXXwW_DtR-HuY8uHwWqqvZOV84too41-xz5k3zzBeC3qtH0UexVwIsaJae-FJsPmgbOTqh0T_UfkUGnipz74BdDF3dQ67WmOSjDWZ3VefRS73pUywm0/s400/P1000641.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371123266056776322" border="0" /></a><br />Check it out...spider monkey<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqjI3NYhn8wFFcgzpFakE5Y3xDe1Nrstq89JXDnPjQ8Ht0IqQgjKmlislJhzfIoNcF0u-jQRj2s7UeM5F6h0yHXDQ3BDdm5THuzMcrq_ZHhZhclJ8a7jlGQEziaQ3nreR9f8LkQ0oImfU/s1600-h/P1000638.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqjI3NYhn8wFFcgzpFakE5Y3xDe1Nrstq89JXDnPjQ8Ht0IqQgjKmlislJhzfIoNcF0u-jQRj2s7UeM5F6h0yHXDQ3BDdm5THuzMcrq_ZHhZhclJ8a7jlGQEziaQ3nreR9f8LkQ0oImfU/s400/P1000638.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371294998332831874" border="0" /></a><br />We all head back to our respective rooms and shower up. Then we drive down to the Cruzan Amphitheatre. Here's me waiting for the curtain to drop.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn0X_nDUDWjnMuw_c-hTpAx85qLvk45DZq6x4vu5uoCZx_8zTRzNZSxIn71A6K7ZEQriPKzmy-gF5884bC7oJ1XE0ubuKSD8YJ4wpuXRpRmInCWS04FufQJmK0SwD4I1qStlqDiF10ZLg/s1600-h/P1000626.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn0X_nDUDWjnMuw_c-hTpAx85qLvk45DZq6x4vu5uoCZx_8zTRzNZSxIn71A6K7ZEQriPKzmy-gF5884bC7oJ1XE0ubuKSD8YJ4wpuXRpRmInCWS04FufQJmK0SwD4I1qStlqDiF10ZLg/s400/P1000626.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371124165567291346" border="0" /></a><br />I decided go get myself a cold brew before the show started, and while I was swinging over to the beer stand, I ran into these two fellows. The one on the left is wearing alligator skin pants, an alligator purse, and me on his shoulder.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDxIVynF2ZJql8QbUiFVg8_hbYQnv2kKblFqXA5kLpZpGLdgdv__GSdiac_p219RSP2UVURsn1tV-3OA7rYTAEEG2H3eQXEyPWH_QBbFjHufL1poaKpxcmb_S_cWZmC08pQAex5fmikFc/s1600-h/P1000631.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDxIVynF2ZJql8QbUiFVg8_hbYQnv2kKblFqXA5kLpZpGLdgdv__GSdiac_p219RSP2UVURsn1tV-3OA7rYTAEEG2H3eQXEyPWH_QBbFjHufL1poaKpxcmb_S_cWZmC08pQAex5fmikFc/s400/P1000631.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371128665146953682" border="0" /></a><br />I found it strange that the amphitheatre has a lighthouse since we are 10 miles from the ocean. Maybe because of all the people getting ship-faced? Yeah, yeah, not a great pun, but I'm a friggin monkey, not a stand-ape comic.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMfvmYPLEsOtP8Uv_1h5LghGybmffmhPrLfenHZ2w1azwTIk-Uqu5QbYkIK3yECsNb2zVPFVXfuGFDepZ6Baae48HBkBtRH-1BIqhyphenhyphencSqnsTQ4o712S9sk2cANFRbXJ56e6Uc70gnZPjo/s1600-h/P1000628.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMfvmYPLEsOtP8Uv_1h5LghGybmffmhPrLfenHZ2w1azwTIk-Uqu5QbYkIK3yECsNb2zVPFVXfuGFDepZ6Baae48HBkBtRH-1BIqhyphenhyphencSqnsTQ4o712S9sk2cANFRbXJ56e6Uc70gnZPjo/s400/P1000628.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371131434810414770" border="0" /></a><br />Back in my seat, relaxing with a beer. There's some sort of strange smell floating in the air. It appears to be making people happier. I'm kinda hungry for Doritos.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAYjuvjUpbaD3Otap-BbrHdy0xjYSr6JS_JvhZ0hALFTuE041LuBk2v-a_mts-TQwoaRxIKCh_LJjSWJBraM1ztmyTbTmioTssenmI8Ciy8LynR1ZJwdgN21_9YGU1O9btlv0WkCu0Crw/s1600-h/P1000629.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAYjuvjUpbaD3Otap-BbrHdy0xjYSr6JS_JvhZ0hALFTuE041LuBk2v-a_mts-TQwoaRxIKCh_LJjSWJBraM1ztmyTbTmioTssenmI8Ciy8LynR1ZJwdgN21_9YGU1O9btlv0WkCu0Crw/s400/P1000629.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371131447127424354" border="0" /></a><br />For the next two and a half hours, we're all singing and dancing.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz-3km6CwVeLFhW5tiYeQIwn5IQxvpxA8O23K0SCYpDWg3IiV5wzPrI46-3EtTiqO3IgvG3K5G6C5erUX8CmMCjUzdfWW790-h3nBc2z_0oSIk-75XMHKVfh9NnYHwwISsDVqzN8pbSBc/s1600-h/P1000634.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz-3km6CwVeLFhW5tiYeQIwn5IQxvpxA8O23K0SCYpDWg3IiV5wzPrI46-3EtTiqO3IgvG3K5G6C5erUX8CmMCjUzdfWW790-h3nBc2z_0oSIk-75XMHKVfh9NnYHwwISsDVqzN8pbSBc/s400/P1000634.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371133101465803170" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVcGIUdEb_fvLGLO9qrTlG_Tuy30XUTn0X395-4d8d0q-qpKCifuB6fhSMLUwBaY9lU-nF5o3B8tWp12dwQooYpczG3p_r14Jmlie1Z2ws41sEGXvfN8Gu0YitjRcWA9x1Oa1-5GcKRQU/s1600-h/P1000633.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVcGIUdEb_fvLGLO9qrTlG_Tuy30XUTn0X395-4d8d0q-qpKCifuB6fhSMLUwBaY9lU-nF5o3B8tWp12dwQooYpczG3p_r14Jmlie1Z2ws41sEGXvfN8Gu0YitjRcWA9x1Oa1-5GcKRQU/s400/P1000633.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371133086822884594" border="0" /></a><br />All that drinking did a number on my monkey bladder<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM0SVhvLoY5WORCCiNhYMwR4pTrN5aDma2F8fhasHA9kaKyegQ9SiE841s34bkXOPa4YF2B-Ihs2EPAeD4E9w4jePWXWTw6phMg_wyJZitZCV2NWmylquvM8jeI3sKiDydUHPdpZWOoPo/s1600-h/P1000662.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM0SVhvLoY5WORCCiNhYMwR4pTrN5aDma2F8fhasHA9kaKyegQ9SiE841s34bkXOPa4YF2B-Ihs2EPAeD4E9w4jePWXWTw6phMg_wyJZitZCV2NWmylquvM8jeI3sKiDydUHPdpZWOoPo/s400/P1000662.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371133108802043154" border="0" /></a><br />Unfortunately, we didn't make it to the post party at the PGA Resort because I had passed out.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg088yVxIeNHrl0-QQAjvOyllhSIoiKyqW22nBsinkdBFaEf7ibuqtX-sAHNYeo1wOvYE0L8b3UPjkcwzNExbO_xZtMtpL-z3MvIw1VhVqEy1mEJkw1nbh7WXZzvnu2Dvv7dolou8HyjSo/s1600-h/P1000637.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg088yVxIeNHrl0-QQAjvOyllhSIoiKyqW22nBsinkdBFaEf7ibuqtX-sAHNYeo1wOvYE0L8b3UPjkcwzNExbO_xZtMtpL-z3MvIw1VhVqEy1mEJkw1nbh7WXZzvnu2Dvv7dolou8HyjSo/s400/P1000637.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371134175770837442" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Saturday, August 15, 2009:</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />Woke up with an incredible headache, almost as if I'd been kicked in the head by a silverback gorilla. I need a little "hair of the monkey".<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTlLhBbFfiMToWHK9U-seZaUu6R0GfHjHYb_ZtycsUT33oilhpVherSLYtt2whFaX3BYBsO9xM4OVe6nBvAClV3DMIfDkIOujY0m9rxz-56WRIUQ2s-SWXDVGfuPFARLvs2fIcCg2vnb4/s1600-h/P1000640.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTlLhBbFfiMToWHK9U-seZaUu6R0GfHjHYb_ZtycsUT33oilhpVherSLYtt2whFaX3BYBsO9xM4OVe6nBvAClV3DMIfDkIOujY0m9rxz-56WRIUQ2s-SWXDVGfuPFARLvs2fIcCg2vnb4/s400/P1000640.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371136157392640674" border="0" /></a><br />We head back down to the pool so I can soak my head in the water and fill my belly with libations. Like this vodka and lemonade for instance.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJbJZR37xyBaUayLGStfJdUul5vBB8UXi0rjMUdiHj1QXMGCsDHO4zi_kGJa3-V4FF4iO-IZyzt5hMnVCixyChTTg2H2uf6oPWDP_PjuSphq0HWZU5HzfUbCZoRs3eUxLvL_uhOjJAOMY/s1600-h/P1000651.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJbJZR37xyBaUayLGStfJdUul5vBB8UXi0rjMUdiHj1QXMGCsDHO4zi_kGJa3-V4FF4iO-IZyzt5hMnVCixyChTTg2H2uf6oPWDP_PjuSphq0HWZU5HzfUbCZoRs3eUxLvL_uhOjJAOMY/s400/P1000651.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371136174174416882" border="0" /></a><br />This resort made some of the most incredible mojitos, and I had several.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinI5QLgfA5ea69G0pMrTEQUrgg_RtupLcWkVtXu03QIJS0asfmc9Ug0F4-vZEweZghNtyqx0-GH3PlJjoRppLJbAEgpfWupNolGzWcwOwQwp8_D_ihNYQL0MyEnfgm3RPwx_6rbfKLCQA/s1600-h/P1000647.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinI5QLgfA5ea69G0pMrTEQUrgg_RtupLcWkVtXu03QIJS0asfmc9Ug0F4-vZEweZghNtyqx0-GH3PlJjoRppLJbAEgpfWupNolGzWcwOwQwp8_D_ihNYQL0MyEnfgm3RPwx_6rbfKLCQA/s400/P1000647.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371136166440938658" border="0" /></a><br />I was making all sorts of friends<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9bO9q3e6E5NAmsdVzYunC3qsYj4r0lsQs8kecH1U18darL0TcPMZnyOhmMU2j98D60NehkuM5W9K746P34IhSQsjqEP8mluWNr1Zjz1Di2CgeK9wEdh1oaHtIqiHYsDRy0bp0u4pG5p4/s1600-h/P1000645-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9bO9q3e6E5NAmsdVzYunC3qsYj4r0lsQs8kecH1U18darL0TcPMZnyOhmMU2j98D60NehkuM5W9K746P34IhSQsjqEP8mluWNr1Zjz1Di2CgeK9wEdh1oaHtIqiHYsDRy0bp0u4pG5p4/s400/P1000645-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371137770339486194" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXnJdI0ybMZuYp3cAUO-GQQRXf7nG0ylW0D7mMP2UKxah0dMa3gTbcyRotheBLovqoIXWJ0-b6WajqhUUdf7qqMIoUApV0w6akaNFBLVBCCQJHiodQzXM_HXcdIJB-XDM7JN5kb__w15c/s1600-h/P1000644.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXnJdI0ybMZuYp3cAUO-GQQRXf7nG0ylW0D7mMP2UKxah0dMa3gTbcyRotheBLovqoIXWJ0-b6WajqhUUdf7qqMIoUApV0w6akaNFBLVBCCQJHiodQzXM_HXcdIJB-XDM7JN5kb__w15c/s400/P1000644.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371141135257594130" border="0" /></a><br />This girl's got what I want<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijcQiBKOfinJiV0rlgl8zx_51Z6oCjtGPniGXI0XPHh_7h8_DO4xJfzIG3506Lpof6FhMSGHaPek9bc1dTxRrLn1-CdBNDlZXqUI4NYcUIvqnGXgt87oOMQiz1jpwmRv8gU_9a15w3uH8/s1600-h/P1000648.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijcQiBKOfinJiV0rlgl8zx_51Z6oCjtGPniGXI0XPHh_7h8_DO4xJfzIG3506Lpof6FhMSGHaPek9bc1dTxRrLn1-CdBNDlZXqUI4NYcUIvqnGXgt87oOMQiz1jpwmRv8gU_9a15w3uH8/s400/P1000648.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371141152735418818" border="0" /></a><br />I got to meet another monkey at the resort, and sat on her lap. But after a brief conversation, I felt she was a bit of an airhead. And she was completely hairless, which made me feel dirty.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDm69w4s6j6eLQyoKG8zLWStFygERc8bBZMIcj9fMATcGYvVREBgpmUIACIGcZWZbtc98Qsi-f_k87fnBA0gdAf2AtP9p7hi7nCJL0sT1i4GATeH4KIBPwgSpNevVRIIB0VAfe25B_ADI/s1600-h/P1000646.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDm69w4s6j6eLQyoKG8zLWStFygERc8bBZMIcj9fMATcGYvVREBgpmUIACIGcZWZbtc98Qsi-f_k87fnBA0gdAf2AtP9p7hi7nCJL0sT1i4GATeH4KIBPwgSpNevVRIIB0VAfe25B_ADI/s400/P1000646.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371141140964682738" border="0" /></a><br />What is it about you humans that makes you want to do handstands every time you get into a swimming pool?<br /><br /> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwZerVJ-DrtGslkc-pxG214gEi9MyAOXFOsh5ECAvP9vK7hMo_2SgdpKO1KPiwwUvB3LMvXZkDsYSGZalPQdg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span> <span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />After spending all day drinking booze in the sun, I get washed up and head to Friday's where we wish this woman a happy birthday.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh07nh7Rbl0IORVqKbt3n5nh0W_xp0dRg7sN5XxaFA-J-HC8gytsOnpkBY-mJD7tTStWrR3jN32Zd2D8ebSC2XU98-z-c_aWpQBBoYuquPS7Y-JYyVJrK08eofCp4jtNawVyUTCFsel88w/s1600-h/P1000654.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh07nh7Rbl0IORVqKbt3n5nh0W_xp0dRg7sN5XxaFA-J-HC8gytsOnpkBY-mJD7tTStWrR3jN32Zd2D8ebSC2XU98-z-c_aWpQBBoYuquPS7Y-JYyVJrK08eofCp4jtNawVyUTCFsel88w/s400/P1000654.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371143610254399618" border="0" /></a><br />I start knocking back banana daquiris, because I'm a monkey and that's how we roll.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq7KcJGn2IV0UX8fD55pF0GEqW5ONrCCVqyJvO5dl68WBowK8VwVMJXVpY_skO9VlZrsPox4UrYrSUcdg7VkYK0exrcWe5rWcq-7FDfev1roJzUD8_wdwm-Xaw6xXGp6cqgw_CZB3cIpM/s1600-h/P1000652.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq7KcJGn2IV0UX8fD55pF0GEqW5ONrCCVqyJvO5dl68WBowK8VwVMJXVpY_skO9VlZrsPox4UrYrSUcdg7VkYK0exrcWe5rWcq-7FDfev1roJzUD8_wdwm-Xaw6xXGp6cqgw_CZB3cIpM/s400/P1000652.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371143595364872290" border="0" /></a><br />This waitress thought I was cute<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIdeGQsp-NJJf4rHGbmRXMwnFdUNsxjFyKErdqC3dx5ByXuU1f9K2PVN1-tvrIIFluey1tIBUZCZCQ6kEhJ-yUYso8Yc7Ynry_RF0JxUdu6EBad7YB5l8geLF8BGZ0-fTojoydJh59Uq8/s1600-h/P1000653.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIdeGQsp-NJJf4rHGbmRXMwnFdUNsxjFyKErdqC3dx5ByXuU1f9K2PVN1-tvrIIFluey1tIBUZCZCQ6kEhJ-yUYso8Yc7Ynry_RF0JxUdu6EBad7YB5l8geLF8BGZ0-fTojoydJh59Uq8/s400/P1000653.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371143601334813298" border="0" /></a><br />We get to the concert, and I start making all sorts of new friends<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDl55Zy7oHJWThf6lkEcGj3WyieaTTDHzEm1lYRoxdrtW-kn7WZ2PsfaAUuWeIG0I-cC7lzIXhlnxbbwkbVkoQVF26ahxBbt4w1YftBRfJcYq_B8x-exlw7YaIYsBwoVorlLDPjPL2tjk/s1600-h/P1000660.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDl55Zy7oHJWThf6lkEcGj3WyieaTTDHzEm1lYRoxdrtW-kn7WZ2PsfaAUuWeIG0I-cC7lzIXhlnxbbwkbVkoQVF26ahxBbt4w1YftBRfJcYq_B8x-exlw7YaIYsBwoVorlLDPjPL2tjk/s400/P1000660.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371287073611536898" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdw_J6vppeCoK2tykduUdxLM1zQPLi1GBLa2Ry_T8KFZeLKJIkRa1pdbP5qrHfQW3y7VJhQswU1Atjma6nmhADMa3HUcW99peO5cb1COVysy0xMccbolSqdPleftHijSgc2a6hzk1fEY/s1600-h/P1000668.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdw_J6vppeCoK2tykduUdxLM1zQPLi1GBLa2Ry_T8KFZeLKJIkRa1pdbP5qrHfQW3y7VJhQswU1Atjma6nmhADMa3HUcW99peO5cb1COVysy0xMccbolSqdPleftHijSgc2a6hzk1fEY/s400/P1000668.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371289195753619330" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsucN8vE07_El3zcagDVDX-gxwuMbX0g0CrwnHFe-sh3MxK4sA0Uuxdp-aXy5_A_jn-HDofgSAtRsUnHFiajvEI0ckl6Qb4Ub7NLZ4BD86TjtLXSckpsbXXiqJJxlTbFLB4ZiAl2XSuo8/s1600-h/P1000667.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsucN8vE07_El3zcagDVDX-gxwuMbX0g0CrwnHFe-sh3MxK4sA0Uuxdp-aXy5_A_jn-HDofgSAtRsUnHFiajvEI0ckl6Qb4Ub7NLZ4BD86TjtLXSckpsbXXiqJJxlTbFLB4ZiAl2XSuo8/s400/P1000667.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371289188207767394" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEenRxM1MtR7GrW_U5Aa5glYZTUqW1vWuS2COWBK165p3m1JA73HRF0Fmrkdo7oXIGKE8xLkYtBNeBI9qFawY9TxTFJaQPCWi9KsZbG64J1FZzeiUNGDbuF0fWtY5GeHF1oRQLkPJH2ZI/s1600-h/P1000665.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEenRxM1MtR7GrW_U5Aa5glYZTUqW1vWuS2COWBK165p3m1JA73HRF0Fmrkdo7oXIGKE8xLkYtBNeBI9qFawY9TxTFJaQPCWi9KsZbG64J1FZzeiUNGDbuF0fWtY5GeHF1oRQLkPJH2ZI/s400/P1000665.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371289179732797714" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-yjg8Rety4erMF5ReqoeBWq37Hwc2YZWu4drRSSEW_LHblix6tfAUJt04Kni-fMPkYhx9SIaj2cwQbw_3ZXZLniW7T73ckQaZ_D8t4V_cSl0-FbOkRnPw2YLoHEB6eSQEaf5wVBHJjdg/s1600-h/P1000664.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-yjg8Rety4erMF5ReqoeBWq37Hwc2YZWu4drRSSEW_LHblix6tfAUJt04Kni-fMPkYhx9SIaj2cwQbw_3ZXZLniW7T73ckQaZ_D8t4V_cSl0-FbOkRnPw2YLoHEB6eSQEaf5wVBHJjdg/s400/P1000664.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371289170122503154" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv36vWDyjKuzuA3cDy4LcyD5S3EScTmP0igEWjsE7G_nonOAbev6LO-c0wV1KI_GWjS0IO95VtbTfVDqnlbtJUGMxXomU-KWFSHoOeT-SHAqabv9EVwM3PXi9PpmwZnzYxaeqQGFYHv6g/s1600-h/P1000663.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv36vWDyjKuzuA3cDy4LcyD5S3EScTmP0igEWjsE7G_nonOAbev6LO-c0wV1KI_GWjS0IO95VtbTfVDqnlbtJUGMxXomU-KWFSHoOeT-SHAqabv9EVwM3PXi9PpmwZnzYxaeqQGFYHv6g/s400/P1000663.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371289164042091810" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHCps-N2frWmHh_v1wmXl0lqh5jFal99G_Jq2D_szGqRTO4x8eSODPqUBs2WKz-rZdDvFI_KJbAHsjZXvbsZ_xU-clumtbHmIMajHFDkGF5mm3Ntn3f9ucfzWb59FWNaSNMmQ4Pw7fJZE/s1600-h/P1000674.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHCps-N2frWmHh_v1wmXl0lqh5jFal99G_Jq2D_szGqRTO4x8eSODPqUBs2WKz-rZdDvFI_KJbAHsjZXvbsZ_xU-clumtbHmIMajHFDkGF5mm3Ntn3f9ucfzWb59FWNaSNMmQ4Pw7fJZE/s400/P1000674.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371291994340963842" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgADeBd2a0yx31_AUGioR0vsbi6Y42D0cpLDitJbqUUnhPQ6v7EYm8FDrfgTXbde2dmN0hTsbbVCQyWDrRyK4vxgggnSj_lkkEUnPw_cRrVZwOMerSaRaT1W2TQx20XtgDNLfWzM-Z5ZOA/s1600-h/P1000669.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgADeBd2a0yx31_AUGioR0vsbi6Y42D0cpLDitJbqUUnhPQ6v7EYm8FDrfgTXbde2dmN0hTsbbVCQyWDrRyK4vxgggnSj_lkkEUnPw_cRrVZwOMerSaRaT1W2TQx20XtgDNLfWzM-Z5ZOA/s400/P1000669.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371291988011181490" border="0" /></a><br />We all enjoyed another great show, even with the monsoon coming down from above.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPXMcKEbncprKgoVRw20agsSnnxrd80XRE_Pf08LuqSyejq-nwDpNgveZaZuRVq8HqWOrpQ8kIrSB_OIiKub4vnUDc5xy9uLle3qytcLDu7shuhFUWceNNN7O8aI3BNTI9_2ybVSiDF3g/s1600-h/P1000673.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPXMcKEbncprKgoVRw20agsSnnxrd80XRE_Pf08LuqSyejq-nwDpNgveZaZuRVq8HqWOrpQ8kIrSB_OIiKub4vnUDc5xy9uLle3qytcLDu7shuhFUWceNNN7O8aI3BNTI9_2ybVSiDF3g/s400/P1000673.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371293210331134354" border="0" /></a><br />At some point at the end of the night, I passed out and slept between Tina's bosoms<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg38g_WBEbSmzhOStGwScTLA4UfroOAq9BDsl5FmuufX5QMTg356H6NB__apXMZBD3YePXk6pZ7TxgPpK-xAdpMMolofI3CaSPkEnOGGo2fqhjjREXOyH8keR3v6eDgiCJ5Jlk5w-hyiMY/s1600-h/P1000677.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg38g_WBEbSmzhOStGwScTLA4UfroOAq9BDsl5FmuufX5QMTg356H6NB__apXMZBD3YePXk6pZ7TxgPpK-xAdpMMolofI3CaSPkEnOGGo2fqhjjREXOyH8keR3v6eDgiCJ5Jlk5w-hyiMY/s400/P1000677.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371294125463186050" border="0" /></a></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Well, that's it. I don't remember anything from 11:30 pm Saturday night until they we got home at 2pm Sunday. Thanks to everyone at AntsMarching.org for such an entertaining weekend. Now I'm off to go throw my feces.</span></span>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-34207232586792926042009-08-08T20:10:00.008-04:002009-08-08T20:35:08.576-04:00RIP John HughesNot many people can define a generation the way he did, and unfortunately there's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said about the man, so I'll just let his work speak for itself:<br /><br /><object width="448" height="272"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Hb5cUY30aSg&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Hb5cUY30aSg&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="448" height="272"></embed></object><br /><br />Be sure to check out this link too cuz it's a great read:<br /><a href="http://wellknowwhenwegetthere.blogspot.com/2009/08/sincerely-john-hughes.html">Sincerely, John Hughes</a>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-15584951087110382202009-08-07T18:33:00.011-04:002009-09-03T19:36:01.807-04:00Chad and Tina cruise the Western Carribean Part 2 (from 2007)<span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style="">Day 5:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style=""><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>This is the second of a two-part series. To read part 1 click <a href="http://floridachad.blogspot.com/2009/08/chad-and-tina-cruise-western-carribean_06.html">here</a><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="">We arrive at Limon, Costa Rica, and disembark for our shore excursion at 7:30am.<span style=""> </span>Tina with a croissant and I with my bacon bar. <span style=""> </span>My heart is starting to hurt.<span style=""> </span>We’re taking a two hour bus ride through the mountains to a rain forest where we’ll be zip-lining through the trees with all the monkeys.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Tina gets prepared for what is sure to make her piss her pants…</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p></span></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYLvK-nbMFDvugld-4ldKj3LoGACCylFaP-CCK-u8J-BQa6DS8eYAVigdbGVHrAwhmD3xhc0Rpj-FmlZrZ3TLw9cDC8_gJwpFIMzSZbywuzYTUys7XVS6wYHtva-XKvWEfc9ZzIqfNULk/s1600-h/WC2-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYLvK-nbMFDvugld-4ldKj3LoGACCylFaP-CCK-u8J-BQa6DS8eYAVigdbGVHrAwhmD3xhc0Rpj-FmlZrZ3TLw9cDC8_gJwpFIMzSZbywuzYTUys7XVS6wYHtva-XKvWEfc9ZzIqfNULk/s400/WC2-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354730045991106" border="0" /></a></p></span><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>…and she’s off!</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEskxrTOmQhMTo_F2mZWdF26kXP_qFlfM2c5sHjIGUUNNPgKMjVAb-WdcBwzWklDdlkOYn-PjxFlU0brcc6Vxu5ExkCHTozEM3CbhY6-UFVAtXs5LKYzok1vksPUA3-Nzas81loGwLOQw/s1600-h/WC2-2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEskxrTOmQhMTo_F2mZWdF26kXP_qFlfM2c5sHjIGUUNNPgKMjVAb-WdcBwzWklDdlkOYn-PjxFlU0brcc6Vxu5ExkCHTozEM3CbhY6-UFVAtXs5LKYzok1vksPUA3-Nzas81loGwLOQw/s400/WC2-2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354726704529250" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>After nine different zip lines, some as far apart as a football field, she arrived at the bottom with dry shorts. <span style=""> </span>Damn.<span style=""> </span>After that, we hop on an aerial tram for a ride through the rain forest at about 70 feet off the ground. <span style=""> </span>We saw a few spiders as big as your fist, weird flowers, and some stupid birds. <span style=""> </span>No monkeys.<span style=""> </span>Friggin bullshit.<span style=""> </span>Now I understand why developers are destroying the rain forests; cuz they’re boring as hell. <span style=""> </span>This place would be a lot cooler with some condos , a pool, maybe a movie theatre, and a monkey zoo so they can’t hide in the trees when I come to see them.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>On our two hour ride back to the ship, we passed the Dole Plantation, The Del Monte Plantation, and the Chiquita Plantation. <span style=""> </span>Nothing but banana plants as far as the eye could see. <span style=""> </span>How many you ask?<span style=""> </span>A bunch!<span style=""> </span>HAHAHAHA!<span style=""> </span>Get it?!<span style=""> </span>A bunch!<span style=""> </span>Oh man, I need a nap.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Blah, blah, dinner.<span style=""> </span>Blah, blah, towel animal.<span style=""> </span>For some reason, this one is seductively posed. <span style=""> </span>Our room steward is beginning to creep me out.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw_BExYHCGarWS8YMTEkj0KTSsiHIMYNwwGoaisYP6aUL14eUPXPst7PH5hqPLnVyDQuPHPUONzNtbdMhhzfIvY3N1tWlkU4iUN5Pik_yD3py48YfAF71iNO-93IzK9sLuAeIIC16Tvi8/s1600-h/WC2-3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw_BExYHCGarWS8YMTEkj0KTSsiHIMYNwwGoaisYP6aUL14eUPXPst7PH5hqPLnVyDQuPHPUONzNtbdMhhzfIvY3N1tWlkU4iUN5Pik_yD3py48YfAF71iNO-93IzK9sLuAeIIC16Tvi8/s400/WC2-3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354720153623394" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Tonight we’re partying, cuz we have a day at sea tomorrow. <span style=""> </span>WOOHOO!!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style="">Day 6:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style=""><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>I skipped the bacon this morning and went with the sausage instead. <span style=""> </span>Ya know, the more heart healthy option.<span style=""> </span>They have oatmeal, but this is vacation, and oatmeal can kiss my ass.<span style=""> </span>Today was a pretty lazy day.<span style=""> </span>I got Tina to come work out with me, we went to an art auction (for the free champagne), Tina went to bingo (again…and it turns out third time is NOT a charm – stupid bingo), and we slept out in the sun by the pool. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Tonight was another fancy night, so we got ourselves all pimped out and headed to the pre-dinner martini party.<span style=""> </span>I’m double-fisting the martinis and it’s only 7pm.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFL1C0HlNL8Z3wE6ePpC8cVPxSkb2adQiW8XrnvMbTkoBiA89n7zUhDafaOuVMKWenGilTtHwoLJZG38cOakRwOwW3xxaHmivDIL61-4j6AX-spUcTV9tLTdyJoNy0djAk_xbKA3CrEvk/s1600-h/WC2-4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFL1C0HlNL8Z3wE6ePpC8cVPxSkb2adQiW8XrnvMbTkoBiA89n7zUhDafaOuVMKWenGilTtHwoLJZG38cOakRwOwW3xxaHmivDIL61-4j6AX-spUcTV9tLTdyJoNy0djAk_xbKA3CrEvk/s400/WC2-4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354718762032850" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> </span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpx9QB39qQZE205DQVROd3G41gpOGtV002HhFCwmXOC-peTxUpufq87tpC6n0s9R8TKmZ93ontbyRFE5EKU63LQEg9fdVkdJ0Iy8powZJQorsYymF7LF6ZngrwjGE_j46sFmitmSISISM/s1600-h/WC2-5.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpx9QB39qQZE205DQVROd3G41gpOGtV002HhFCwmXOC-peTxUpufq87tpC6n0s9R8TKmZ93ontbyRFE5EKU63LQEg9fdVkdJ0Iy8powZJQorsYymF7LF6ZngrwjGE_j46sFmitmSISISM/s400/WC2-5.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354719161394514" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Tina is buzzed on vodka by the time we get to dinner and is so amazed by our waiter’s sleight-of-hand trick with two wine corks that she decides to try it for herself.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg327fJlG_-f4uM4vV2gKZRdImabgV7mMon1_SsJY3Mr8dL4JM5rgwM7SPGa7psBEmeMnhuhzEUh03J52eJO0dqI-J5cZVetOSsfKITJh1hwhq9c_dKwwtHxVRARdU1_dcxm_gBfGUU5eg/s1600-h/WC2-6.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg327fJlG_-f4uM4vV2gKZRdImabgV7mMon1_SsJY3Mr8dL4JM5rgwM7SPGa7psBEmeMnhuhzEUh03J52eJO0dqI-J5cZVetOSsfKITJh1hwhq9c_dKwwtHxVRARdU1_dcxm_gBfGUU5eg/s400/WC2-6.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354551048424642" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjISHuoU-h2F8XJYhi8tvNqCDCJv3aJPgDlGC5Q8Qt8V4YOfjA_-i5JgULq4A_NlLVk23cZ9Z-KqI_YrgarCso6xDYEv8w2ytSgZ1O-w1OIDY3Pq0kDKYdIsqMWMGqHjqaZyeR0f_qUJmo/s1600-h/WC2-7.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjISHuoU-h2F8XJYhi8tvNqCDCJv3aJPgDlGC5Q8Qt8V4YOfjA_-i5JgULq4A_NlLVk23cZ9Z-KqI_YrgarCso6xDYEv8w2ytSgZ1O-w1OIDY3Pq0kDKYdIsqMWMGqHjqaZyeR0f_qUJmo/s400/WC2-7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354544541266130" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>This is about 5-6 minutes in…</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiapauBwMVHJkNs5XuSyyY8ckIqoEwdPXygzjHHDmb7YCs9M8wPRjY02znpXtE_bpImqDozc8maSxh6Ktv7Vl7wE-kAmY6KnML0jMAqah-JUAvArX5wXX-sueuqxaVZIo8nD7Eel8yrTQ/s1600-h/WC2-8.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiapauBwMVHJkNs5XuSyyY8ckIqoEwdPXygzjHHDmb7YCs9M8wPRjY02znpXtE_bpImqDozc8maSxh6Ktv7Vl7wE-kAmY6KnML0jMAqah-JUAvArX5wXX-sueuqxaVZIo8nD7Eel8yrTQ/s400/WC2-8.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354543396755426" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>And finally…</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSkij-Qqd5ecR_JASEexIib4KER9hqyMQ50Yi70l4NGp5NGc8dFkbVXNqRChRHcg1xiKo6xA-4fcEQbXdZN13d4Aif-0wm4V7UJvKYzxb8kGaBb37que3hXXtaVCxxVX5t6DyF43n-qOg/s1600-h/WC2-9.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSkij-Qqd5ecR_JASEexIib4KER9hqyMQ50Yi70l4NGp5NGc8dFkbVXNqRChRHcg1xiKo6xA-4fcEQbXdZN13d4Aif-0wm4V7UJvKYzxb8kGaBb37que3hXXtaVCxxVX5t6DyF43n-qOg/s400/WC2-9.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354542506526578" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Back in our room, we’re attacked by a killer towel monkey.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNotHTXR8XfRRX906imtVc-p5Lg-dj6FWqLXX89nByCvvRYirQqu2dy2TuB4CFOB2bvIm1aa2tcKgfqDu_an9qx4GYk1eu93MNGpAtNVPit03WZPh8Trsu_H4pL4U08G6wyLUN8Fosiog/s1600-h/WC2-10.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNotHTXR8XfRRX906imtVc-p5Lg-dj6FWqLXX89nByCvvRYirQqu2dy2TuB4CFOB2bvIm1aa2tcKgfqDu_an9qx4GYk1eu93MNGpAtNVPit03WZPh8Trsu_H4pL4U08G6wyLUN8Fosiog/s400/WC2-10.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354535743793938" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>As an added bonus, tonight is the Grand Gala Buffet at 12:30am, ya know in case five meals a day just don’t stave off your hunger. <span style=""> </span>They had some great displays…</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM2-QkimR0vIfksyuiErCPV4aZQG7mjoH3FHpVR60SBxHc8Zt8HrqzJxnu6UyUOLwycPH486FfPVxcLJNnGfC7NVByz0uGMfJ3lG-Z2mQ0Zzv5EyBOtcWHfWvNgT0HCG3qXTkh-EiIjYI/s1600-h/WC2-11.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM2-QkimR0vIfksyuiErCPV4aZQG7mjoH3FHpVR60SBxHc8Zt8HrqzJxnu6UyUOLwycPH486FfPVxcLJNnGfC7NVByz0uGMfJ3lG-Z2mQ0Zzv5EyBOtcWHfWvNgT0HCG3qXTkh-EiIjYI/s400/WC2-11.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354397329305986" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>…but what does yours truly think of the food?</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXkjlE-hyluYNS2AOPos-7ZyrxgWnvZFAeaSRoOF92hStjp3E0oiSpmcVm1JRGZXfYYzmT3BOC-iQ5I62k_cRyA9miES2C_WGjpLvYbqrjb2LA9z11zp7UdP8GNkdiHr_obJw_TKTwK6Y/s1600-h/WC2-12.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXkjlE-hyluYNS2AOPos-7ZyrxgWnvZFAeaSRoOF92hStjp3E0oiSpmcVm1JRGZXfYYzmT3BOC-iQ5I62k_cRyA9miES2C_WGjpLvYbqrjb2LA9z11zp7UdP8GNkdiHr_obJw_TKTwK6Y/s400/WC2-12.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354395325450674" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>I’m going to bed</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style="">Day 7:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style=""><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>At this point I’ve eaten enough bacon to have had two heart seizures, but I don’t care cuz bacon tastes good. <span style=""> </span>We arrive in Belize City, Belize this morning and board a catamaran at 11:30am for a twenty-five minute trip out to the reef (only Australia’s great barrier is larger), to try out Snuba.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibCsBWpSNohzNyV2QLteJtWmAOOZPUg4SiJBokVBcvnJWdmBzB4vrNMn9GxIm3HHCDLghpNCyj_6z82hVEBhy1CMW4IXlAUPLIK3I1CInzj4WxYn3SLk3dLSkohRoF3CKyMQaYp1L_mHA/s1600-h/WC2-13.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibCsBWpSNohzNyV2QLteJtWmAOOZPUg4SiJBokVBcvnJWdmBzB4vrNMn9GxIm3HHCDLghpNCyj_6z82hVEBhy1CMW4IXlAUPLIK3I1CInzj4WxYn3SLk3dLSkohRoF3CKyMQaYp1L_mHA/s400/WC2-13.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354395952291810" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">While Tina and I are both certified Scuba divers, she’s had trouble in the past with her ears at depth, and I don’t care for snorkeling, so Snuba is a happy medium. <span style=""> </span>It’s basically scuba diving at twenty feet without an air tank; you are just attached to a twenty foot air hose. <span style=""> </span>It’s 50% snorkeling, 50% scuba, and 100% lame.<span style=""> </span>The good news is that now she wants to go back to Belize and try to scuba dive again. <span style=""> </span>After our child’s play, we hop back on the catamaran for a trip to a private island. <span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSS-YAkOdd22leExf8DfmDeKHud5cSevO-61RxAsDWlG_p_1v6lWHjCdXLoBk5aY4On5T3oFRdOSa0HzaEA_3qvbehiEEU1JiqsOmNk4ZKTyLUQ0p53-5DtwrjPBGJjHYX5ap_6jBMdME/s1600-h/WC2-14.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSS-YAkOdd22leExf8DfmDeKHud5cSevO-61RxAsDWlG_p_1v6lWHjCdXLoBk5aY4On5T3oFRdOSa0HzaEA_3qvbehiEEU1JiqsOmNk4ZKTyLUQ0p53-5DtwrjPBGJjHYX5ap_6jBMdME/s400/WC2-14.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354389405155170" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">And out comes the free rum punch. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> </span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg55_1QokG0yDnjkWSDO-GLDDSApofHqylgeDXSjKXd6mBxdOd7DqAsnKMGoR0QpURviYgDN7dxanDfaeYYVwFfH2C5SrAvwpYUvbdss4DBtUgeRXMfgZtWoDFmTiOGLPlavGTj5R4_KOo/s1600-h/WC2-15.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg55_1QokG0yDnjkWSDO-GLDDSApofHqylgeDXSjKXd6mBxdOd7DqAsnKMGoR0QpURviYgDN7dxanDfaeYYVwFfH2C5SrAvwpYUvbdss4DBtUgeRXMfgZtWoDFmTiOGLPlavGTj5R4_KOo/s400/WC2-15.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354383281266898" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">Free rum punch on the catamaran, free rum punch on the island and after an hour and a half, everyone is rum punch drunk. <span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> </span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFM-zBR6ys6KTShhs5tGuMJF3lsepXn0bBPUa00NqCQGMgY86kq0CTx3LpZ0mwgPKCDPg7OH71Hvhbo0NuwEYyUpay3TBcE8Xl1Zb6q7de9dA9sJO8FhcU5O5KE2r9BXzKGRtSKEe2tAo/s1600-h/WC2-16.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFM-zBR6ys6KTShhs5tGuMJF3lsepXn0bBPUa00NqCQGMgY86kq0CTx3LpZ0mwgPKCDPg7OH71Hvhbo0NuwEYyUpay3TBcE8Xl1Zb6q7de9dA9sJO8FhcU5O5KE2r9BXzKGRtSKEe2tAo/s400/WC2-16.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354217947414642" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">And I neglected to wear sunscreen on this particular day, so I’m redder than the Kool-Aid Man. <span style=""> </span>On the boat trip back to our cruise ship, we’re all dancing and conga-lining and high-fiving and having a blast. <span style=""> </span>I wish we could’ve had this day at the beginning of our trip.<span style=""> </span>Everyone boards the cruise ship and the majority head up to the pool bar where we all continue to drink and dance and hoot and holler. This dude is wearing the same suit as me...so obviously, he's badass.<br /></span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA20QVsFhGT79GkkNyi8w9TD_VfkAtJEpM71vvI1uJEPndd4oCQ6Ly_9quNMhGHBOOgRKIsjSl8iT-X0GLV51drkQ73XfLq8Q75LJQFDRZcTdC0-4YI5TpsvhtXU8IjhpDkfZwesXMDUc/s1600-h/WC2-17.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA20QVsFhGT79GkkNyi8w9TD_VfkAtJEpM71vvI1uJEPndd4oCQ6Ly_9quNMhGHBOOgRKIsjSl8iT-X0GLV51drkQ73XfLq8Q75LJQFDRZcTdC0-4YI5TpsvhtXU8IjhpDkfZwesXMDUc/s400/WC2-17.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354215457642882" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">…until we all head back to our rooms to pass out. <span style=""> </span>Tina and I wake up at 8pm, grab a coupla pepperoni pizzas and a ton of ice water, and stay in our rooms the rest of the night watching tv and rubbing on aloe.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style="">Day 8:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style=""><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>This is it, the last day. <span style=""> </span>Mmmm, bacon.<span style=""> </span>Yeah, I’m about over my bacon kick now. <span style=""> </span>I’m starting to sweat bacon grease and some fat guy tried to put me on his cheeseburger. <span style=""> </span>Tina headed to morning bingo and lost again.<span style=""> </span>It would probably be cooler to burn $20 bills, but at least bingo takes longer. <span style=""> </span>It still sucks donkey balls and I still loathe it.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>I had time today to ponder three things:<span style=""> </span>The first is that this ship has a Purser’s desk, which is essentially the information desk. <span style=""> </span>I kinda find that sexist.<span style=""> </span>I mean, why can’t it be called the Walleter’s desk? <span style=""> </span>This ship had a bunch of pursers, no walleters, and judging by the nightly 11pm meetings of the Friends of Dorothy, there were a handful of fannypackers. <span style=""> </span>Giggle-giggle.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>The second thing is these two pictures, which were side by side on the ship:</span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwMDnR0QkKwaaqDC_Z2WDsXl0Ufsy_UJQMQVLOiSXwET1zGwKgu6OvTWlq6_HXmVjkn4s9NTluixb18eNkuptcRIp-ZQUaA5vv7Bwqa2zBykRC4czSh84koZ19o_KmDKweCgV4JAI3ilI/s1600-h/WC2-18.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwMDnR0QkKwaaqDC_Z2WDsXl0Ufsy_UJQMQVLOiSXwET1zGwKgu6OvTWlq6_HXmVjkn4s9NTluixb18eNkuptcRIp-ZQUaA5vv7Bwqa2zBykRC4czSh84koZ19o_KmDKweCgV4JAI3ilI/s400/WC2-18.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354211272783298" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAtJ40YWcMch9kp6nz-BHvUd5chEyN71jatrR28DhFyfvV9G4vSFMEg48Qe3fhyphenhyphen7_Nx-Q_8aTIZLWIa2Apdux4aUDBH5xunnobZxHYWbgJZLUE7k06Sy_D0nTy8PBg-YriyfO75XyATOw/s1600-h/WC2-19.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAtJ40YWcMch9kp6nz-BHvUd5chEyN71jatrR28DhFyfvV9G4vSFMEg48Qe3fhyphenhyphen7_Nx-Q_8aTIZLWIa2Apdux4aUDBH5xunnobZxHYWbgJZLUE7k06Sy_D0nTy8PBg-YriyfO75XyATOw/s400/WC2-19.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354204111878274" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">I guess Carnival has an opposition to masturbation. <span style=""> </span>What a bunch of fascists.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">The third thing had to do with Domino’s Pizza. <span style=""> </span>If you recall back in the late 80’s and early 90’s Domino’s drilled it into your head to Avoid The Noid. <span style=""> </span>Now I don’t know whatever happened to The Noid, but if he’s being abusing drugs and alcohol over the last ten or so years, then this may be him. <span style=""> </span>Either way, I stayed out of his way the entire cruise.</span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-B8Gjuz20aE3dhUuodI-C0sHWZefWwUIphyYF9nIoEdS3gfODLOvE44skel0qdcZY_UHoSDLZfpY-Dp1eVNnDlzexOWPdhavsDTTbZS1U1UBi75-si2zgrHhqqf3IbuytvDD0f6xOobA/s1600-h/WC2-20.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-B8Gjuz20aE3dhUuodI-C0sHWZefWwUIphyYF9nIoEdS3gfODLOvE44skel0qdcZY_UHoSDLZfpY-Dp1eVNnDlzexOWPdhavsDTTbZS1U1UBi75-si2zgrHhqqf3IbuytvDD0f6xOobA/s400/WC2-20.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354205828159074" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">And what’s up with the dude on the right? <span style=""> </span>This picture just creeps me out.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">Well enough of my ramblings, it’s the last evening on ship, so I grabbed a photo of the sunset…</span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCQMJ7-KEhQGtMiuAXJIG82IQFYrVQ95l85uiMUJzwUy4jVs6ss5iQhNCC1GVmeLpNFSvK36mRxfM5BfI6nD3VZJIGROkgsv1WZX_MYCVnXFoc5TvcDPVw4h_mcR4IP5JCOvdxLMAJ-2k/s1600-h/WC2-21.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCQMJ7-KEhQGtMiuAXJIG82IQFYrVQ95l85uiMUJzwUy4jVs6ss5iQhNCC1GVmeLpNFSvK36mRxfM5BfI6nD3VZJIGROkgsv1WZX_MYCVnXFoc5TvcDPVw4h_mcR4IP5JCOvdxLMAJ-2k/s400/WC2-21.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354016245157378" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">…had dinner, and checked out tonight’s towel animal which was some sort of baby. <span style=""> </span>Tina, in her recent throes of baby fever, demonstrates for me what a great mother she would be. <span style=""> </span>Tina had a baby…</span></p> </span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPcrz3aIWg2E7tRd-RetwsA5p6_HphGmfmNQd-Q5WJDcn4aIVZnrzTniMWuepqW-GwqyAtctJ5gnTxwoEJ19K53GmQKuJdmD12duU1dHHmrkwwd6LwcGXpMf7AL9Q5c8ntUDX5HZyyjhA/s1600-h/WC2-22.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPcrz3aIWg2E7tRd-RetwsA5p6_HphGmfmNQd-Q5WJDcn4aIVZnrzTniMWuepqW-GwqyAtctJ5gnTxwoEJ19K53GmQKuJdmD12duU1dHHmrkwwd6LwcGXpMf7AL9Q5c8ntUDX5HZyyjhA/s400/WC2-22.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354014413413010" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">…and it’s head popped off!</span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0w-iB8WXNbVvN8m-ueNQxxl7Gj-iIRfeBwp9xpIqztg6Z_1UuNdY4IsMOBad1a3Sxb7VeA9kvP294M9_seDwEH0lKU4YdnxX3sucyQCANfQMXs9iEv1YY4ZdQOdCPd0JcrbvB71ISmKQ/s1600-h/WC2-23.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0w-iB8WXNbVvN8m-ueNQxxl7Gj-iIRfeBwp9xpIqztg6Z_1UuNdY4IsMOBad1a3Sxb7VeA9kvP294M9_seDwEH0lKU4YdnxX3sucyQCANfQMXs9iEv1YY4ZdQOdCPd0JcrbvB71ISmKQ/s400/WC2-23.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354012302966018" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">Finally, we end the trip with Tina heading to bingo. <span style=""> </span>Why?<span style=""> </span>Because she’s getting her ass handed to her in the casino and she’ll lose less money if she plays stupid, old lady bingo. <span style=""> </span>What’s that you say?<span style=""> </span>How’d she do?<span style=""> </span>Do you really have to ask?</span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguPfFAUZfElewge2iRkH360Z7IRw1mYADiwc3ZQQ7OfI-am9cn73DmxOv_ohCaMK3qeEhW2vEYRiK3OlcVFdC0Grct5_XQtoOSyD8JWQEAw_3Zov8Bo1cpkLepL9XRTQ-qiF5EVZohyphenhyphen6Q/s1600-h/WC2-24.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 299px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguPfFAUZfElewge2iRkH360Z7IRw1mYADiwc3ZQQ7OfI-am9cn73DmxOv_ohCaMK3qeEhW2vEYRiK3OlcVFdC0Grct5_XQtoOSyD8JWQEAw_3Zov8Bo1cpkLepL9XRTQ-qiF5EVZohyphenhyphen6Q/s400/WC2-24.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367354007550494722" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">Yep, she won $1000.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">It’s like I’ve been saying, if you find yourself on a cruise ship, head over to the bingo room, because it’s the greatest game in the history of everything of all time, ever.</span></p></span></span>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6582164708244671596.post-30215510549177610162009-08-06T10:30:00.002-04:002009-08-18T09:36:23.938-04:00Chad and Tina cruise the Western Carribean Part 1 (from 2007)<span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="">Day 1:</span></p> </span><div style="text-align: left;font-family:arial;"><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" ><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Okay, gonna have to bear with me cuz we just booked this cruise on Jan. 14 and departed on Jan. 19 (living in Florida + having no children = last second travel steals).<span style=""> </span>We're taking an 8 day cruise from Ft. Lauderdale to Colon, Panama, - Limon, Costa Rico, - Belize City, Belize, and back to Ft. Lauderdale.<span style=""> </span>8 days.<span style=""> </span>And the first three days we're trapped on the ship.<span style=""> </span>Scary as this sounds to some people, I embrace the days at sea because there's no rush to do anything.<span style=""> </span>Unless of course you're Tina, in which case you try to schedule out the hours of the days.</span></p></span></div><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" > <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Anywho, day 1 was basically us boarding the ship and walking around to familiarize ourselves with the vessel.<span style=""> </span>While walking, I noted that most of our fellow passengers were old enough to share a yearbook with Moses.<span style=""> </span>With all the living fossils on this cruise, I felt like I was living in a paleontologist’s wet dream.<span style=""> </span>As the ship sailed out of the port, the upper decks were full of passengers waving goodbye to all of the people that were seeing us off, which consisted of a handful of scruffy looking dock workers. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">Tina and I spent the departure time on our room’s balcony.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""><br /></span></p></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5cYFja6a6irdBOzbuxUFg55a3PncphNL1IXO5ZDj9sSRpGWuE4uXDLzVIQIfxDmUBSVTw8LmlmIA1ALAfXBxKTCtDdJhcNz5cX4KSCixBiCSf0ibS9aYJD2HDVmbLFvd2n_-s_pBQPaU/s1600-h/CT_WC_1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5cYFja6a6irdBOzbuxUFg55a3PncphNL1IXO5ZDj9sSRpGWuE4uXDLzVIQIfxDmUBSVTw8LmlmIA1ALAfXBxKTCtDdJhcNz5cX4KSCixBiCSf0ibS9aYJD2HDVmbLFvd2n_-s_pBQPaU/s400/CT_WC_1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366859048081190162" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style=""> <br /> We were escorted out to sea by the US Coast Guard.</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEPv5qRJcLdj4zdlbORLNxPC9TmUP_ga7sn9t5PXV_2Hajb5HpIGsJ2C5dlfORVzUljNpNtBuOgKFeNsxfGhD8Osp0ZDpXR9HGm0VaNhgl9d4nXe0xMpnopEdmEPRGgQ-8JtxNySVnpN0/s1600-h/CT_WC_2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEPv5qRJcLdj4zdlbORLNxPC9TmUP_ga7sn9t5PXV_2Hajb5HpIGsJ2C5dlfORVzUljNpNtBuOgKFeNsxfGhD8Osp0ZDpXR9HGm0VaNhgl9d4nXe0xMpnopEdmEPRGgQ-8JtxNySVnpN0/s400/CT_WC_2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366859041597610114" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style=""> <br /> Later, we hung out at the back of the ship near the waterslide.</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB1xSYV7PyJqJ6iVRnxzO137kT40TtgEOTMOvYfcwLtIj8UO4OayEQcmicjM-_mr8KH-w0drIHBSuxaJaRlztrkJaeRxwja6Je95t6tmBN0QRHuTIAGQxFZoJzYh3nNRrnufU5fdDENYE/s1600-h/CT_WC_3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB1xSYV7PyJqJ6iVRnxzO137kT40TtgEOTMOvYfcwLtIj8UO4OayEQcmicjM-_mr8KH-w0drIHBSuxaJaRlztrkJaeRxwja6Je95t6tmBN0QRHuTIAGQxFZoJzYh3nNRrnufU5fdDENYE/s400/CT_WC_3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366859037868600546" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style=""><span style=""> <br /> </span>Enjoying wine with dinner the first night. <span style=""> </span>Very nice.</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJCjxOSNjvaeRpEtkf0l-cv5OjQKJWlhi8U6Qg3KhmyO1A9adKqNfq5H-Zx7I24tIghjL4lS-FqaNavv-ibvU5z1H4G_Bh2yS79yfi-t39j-0Ynzgfu1b2vZLYAu9gCvL-2vbXPFblx4s/s1600-h/CT_WC_4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJCjxOSNjvaeRpEtkf0l-cv5OjQKJWlhi8U6Qg3KhmyO1A9adKqNfq5H-Zx7I24tIghjL4lS-FqaNavv-ibvU5z1H4G_Bh2yS79yfi-t39j-0Ynzgfu1b2vZLYAu9gCvL-2vbXPFblx4s/s400/CT_WC_4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366859041017302226" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>When we got back to our room that evening, we saw that our room steward made us a towel animal. <span style=""> </span>I think it’s a bear cub.<span style=""> </span>Either way, it’s nice to know we have a backup plan in case we run out of toilet paper.</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Wnf_aqM7KGwt-eK14JbKEXPq54f8M95BLHDws-oinwat6hSyGZJmL4U-x1yb0PGsgF8sqyoRTBNdiVh4JKYmytKIk2lySEsgVBYwTyNfliB71-3XsQ2veGoJN1K9LVShRNCKYD5d7f8/s1600-h/CT_WC_5.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Wnf_aqM7KGwt-eK14JbKEXPq54f8M95BLHDws-oinwat6hSyGZJmL4U-x1yb0PGsgF8sqyoRTBNdiVh4JKYmytKIk2lySEsgVBYwTyNfliB71-3XsQ2veGoJN1K9LVShRNCKYD5d7f8/s400/CT_WC_5.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858825882282418" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style="">Day 2:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>We woke up in the morning with Cuba outside of our window.<span style=""> </span>Those aren’t clouds over the island, it’s cigar smoke.</span></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ImtRJBxH3ZIUyMr7mumVNe_MLa0ZgK2Q6DH5Pa2-P_qXHBuCLg3NxRzDimMGFwtwBMJkshS3MBApWFwtr-Uh746b0GTFcpJHtQGGPDJ80vfXKovQpDM9QZ2c4xqffpoQzvqas8G41hc/s1600-h/CT_WC_6.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ImtRJBxH3ZIUyMr7mumVNe_MLa0ZgK2Q6DH5Pa2-P_qXHBuCLg3NxRzDimMGFwtwBMJkshS3MBApWFwtr-Uh746b0GTFcpJHtQGGPDJ80vfXKovQpDM9QZ2c4xqffpoQzvqas8G41hc/s400/CT_WC_6.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858816853352098" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>We spent the whole second day at sea. <span style=""><br /><br /></span></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijRYemWXbmsbUJ8spGmVw4B2XXdJRaqxW-AGa-CCpGxmQKK4MMWbh5NZg14N-hib0lH5vM35QWbo4EwSfRYv_WThQF_jeXQHw6w816zqUnaoqwAm_ePVfvAxEfAWH8TB_szGKd0dXgXB8/s1600-h/CT_WC_7.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijRYemWXbmsbUJ8spGmVw4B2XXdJRaqxW-AGa-CCpGxmQKK4MMWbh5NZg14N-hib0lH5vM35QWbo4EwSfRYv_WThQF_jeXQHw6w816zqUnaoqwAm_ePVfvAxEfAWH8TB_szGKd0dXgXB8/s400/CT_WC_7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858806008973746" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">One of the highlights of cruising for me is the unlimited supply of bacon available.<span style=""> </span>I love bacon the way a mother loves her son…well, I mean, ya know, except you shouldn’t eat your kids, that’d be just sick.<span style=""> </span>Anyways, I’m sure you get the point.<span style=""> </span>I had twelve slices this morning and my hearts never felt stronger.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">The rest of the day, we enjoyed the sun and pool, gambled at the casino, and Tina played bingo. <span style=""> </span>Yep, that’s right, bingo. <span style=""> </span>This game brings out the worst in every sweet grandma in the world. <span style=""> </span>The best part is when one little old lady yells out “BINGO!” and 99 other little old ladies say “AWWWWW!”<span style=""> </span>followed by an under the breath “fuck”.<span style=""> </span>The worst part of the game? <span style=""> </span>The stupid douche that calls out the numbers.<span style=""> </span>“It’s not malignant, it’s B-9”<span style=""> </span>and “It’s what Tarzan said when he was old enough to vote; I-18”. <span style=""> </span>I started to think that maybe all the ladies that were playing were actually in their 20’s and 30’s but aged prematurally after constantly being exposed to these old, stale jokes. <span style=""> </span>Oh yeah, and the second worst part of the game? <span style=""> </span>You can never win it.<span style=""> </span>It’s stupid and I hate it. <span style=""> </span>What a waste of twenty dollars.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="">We got all fancied up for dinner that evening.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkwCAotZoODGjZL3_2zaX9fu5H-J3gjkABYGL-ZM-I71rtQrpZyr39hKzi11Jd39-FOKPH1CL6CHrxW1MMZypX_NhITzrXgUvGmY3hXxTOviec-gVucYSK1uM95tH6me_TAsRQ7RYiQds/s1600-h/CT_WC_8.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkwCAotZoODGjZL3_2zaX9fu5H-J3gjkABYGL-ZM-I71rtQrpZyr39hKzi11Jd39-FOKPH1CL6CHrxW1MMZypX_NhITzrXgUvGmY3hXxTOviec-gVucYSK1uM95tH6me_TAsRQ7RYiQds/s400/CT_WC_8.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858801297616706" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Waiting for us in our room that night was another towel animal.<span style=""> </span>And for some reason, Tina was mildly turned on by it.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXhhsmTim2p2mOiSqsrfTOhWBMG4qdYrbevkZNA3B-1ZQR6uXZOGnIwzy8FMxlc3vP14P4HPID8L8gCgFa8_Efp9sx6hsFJSmaIYVl9UMsSeo_b_0gdc7-qr8bDlUaj4TgqA7pi5P3yHQ/s1600-h/CT_WC_9.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXhhsmTim2p2mOiSqsrfTOhWBMG4qdYrbevkZNA3B-1ZQR6uXZOGnIwzy8FMxlc3vP14P4HPID8L8gCgFa8_Efp9sx6hsFJSmaIYVl9UMsSeo_b_0gdc7-qr8bDlUaj4TgqA7pi5P3yHQ/s400/CT_WC_9.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858795543765746" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style="">Day 3:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Well, we’re still at sea.<span style=""> </span>This morning’s breakfast is a plate of bacon with a side of bacon.<span style=""> </span>Then we participate in a few of the ship activities until we begin to wear down. <span style=""> </span>Guess we can go eat, or sleep by the pool, or go to the casino. <span style=""> </span>Or eat and drink until we pass out by the pool. <span style=""> </span>Instead, I went to go work out (wha-wha-what?!) and Tina went down to go play bingo…again. <span style=""> </span>I burned off 200 calories and Tina burned off another 20 dollars.<span style=""> </span>Bingo is stupid, and so is exercising.<span style=""> </span>We head to bar, grab a load of foo-foo drinks and head back to our room.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiolzIje28gLinpp5mDkEzM31pY4Q90dpyCqbtEH4jLwq9XzbzZthf1xyhYXFyYibLENWFTSjAaMJBnzd5yaKPra2KGt9Ky809YLN6Mkbq4O8WrFPOlutDgS30HLdyLL7lYNv1NKYsrEs4/s1600-h/CT_WC_10.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiolzIje28gLinpp5mDkEzM31pY4Q90dpyCqbtEH4jLwq9XzbzZthf1xyhYXFyYibLENWFTSjAaMJBnzd5yaKPra2KGt9Ky809YLN6Mkbq4O8WrFPOlutDgS30HLdyLL7lYNv1NKYsrEs4/s400/CT_WC_10.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858531161345922" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>We arrive in Panama tomorrow and have to get off the boat at 7am to begin our tour so we’re going to bed early. <span style=""> </span>Unfortunately, we’re in our room before the turn-down service, so no towel animals. <span style=""> </span>Dammit.<span style=""> </span>I was crossing my fingers for a rhinoceros tonight.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style="">Day 4:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>PANAMA! Dun-dun dun-da-da-da PANAMA_HUH! </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjorptrGHrehyB3J3CYhvjUMZFw1AH2Dsp-nMfbXaPdARVrP2BKFpyzCBDBKwoiEmK28aH2WrqNUzZtCfYpwdIjedC99yr64HL4MhmSiqPzpRCcRmZ0HuvRZDcrhHdXRroKpEsE_C3Z4NY/s1600-h/CT_WC_11.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 308px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjorptrGHrehyB3J3CYhvjUMZFw1AH2Dsp-nMfbXaPdARVrP2BKFpyzCBDBKwoiEmK28aH2WrqNUzZtCfYpwdIjedC99yr64HL4MhmSiqPzpRCcRmZ0HuvRZDcrhHdXRroKpEsE_C3Z4NY/s400/CT_WC_11.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858529414207090" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span></span><span style="">We disembark our ship in Colon, Panama, and Tina and I board a bus to begin our shore excursion. <span style=""> </span>I had breakfast on the run, which essentially consisted of a glass of OJ and a fistful of bacon. <span style=""> </span>I call this the bacon bar.<span style=""> </span>Our first stop is a waterfront hotel where we board some boats…</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1SJ74etlkD8EMtQG0FJA3g3C73IA9ozUPcOl8AQDOsk9RK-CgGIQ3yf5RayzlsgJgnEYIVQPSE6ui9pUpgbV7PSNWUtTqTjlZlUcS2JGGIkivW6o_Vm-a5_kAxPDffTiVVoTEAKi9hu4/s1600-h/CT_WC_12.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1SJ74etlkD8EMtQG0FJA3g3C73IA9ozUPcOl8AQDOsk9RK-CgGIQ3yf5RayzlsgJgnEYIVQPSE6ui9pUpgbV7PSNWUtTqTjlZlUcS2JGGIkivW6o_Vm-a5_kAxPDffTiVVoTEAKi9hu4/s400/CT_WC_12.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858521824322050" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>…and head to an island to visit with an Indian tribe.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcxTzW10d5x7LSdmPDvADvgIEjOgQbcx3sGC_dqBoZmhHHTyuTUXC17BTKu4p7FEQiyPFTpYWL7cltpboOq0h7vYMOmAQwFdv6IGKHlqgZ-X0kqNMMHSVEs-Nuo0AbX1eJ4hk7Xwk31ns/s1600-h/CT_WC_13.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcxTzW10d5x7LSdmPDvADvgIEjOgQbcx3sGC_dqBoZmhHHTyuTUXC17BTKu4p7FEQiyPFTpYWL7cltpboOq0h7vYMOmAQwFdv6IGKHlqgZ-X0kqNMMHSVEs-Nuo0AbX1eJ4hk7Xwk31ns/s400/CT_WC_13.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858512098582930" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>They were a nice bunch but the irony is that we’re in Colon, but not one person uses it. <span style=""> </span>Oh well, it’s no worse than a Tina fart.<span style=""> </span>They danced for us, and through a translator, gave us the history of their tribe. <span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""> This girl walks around with a small monkey on her head:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcP3b8ZqHUafBGyhDUXOBUNXgVpcu_qibsiSZ4hUy9OuLLV9Y9t8l1NQWsHxuxfeFyJJHiTdE1MvvNwndoAUTviKnBSR1hU3q82SxZSQbNKi6Cgh66twTy4X-yH20A9NKF5Od9gUuTfrQ/s1600-h/CT_WC_14.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcP3b8ZqHUafBGyhDUXOBUNXgVpcu_qibsiSZ4hUy9OuLLV9Y9t8l1NQWsHxuxfeFyJJHiTdE1MvvNwndoAUTviKnBSR1hU3q82SxZSQbNKi6Cgh66twTy4X-yH20A9NKF5Od9gUuTfrQ/s400/CT_WC_14.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858501217735842" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>We leave this island before they start building casinos, and hop back on the boats back to the hotel. <span style=""> </span>While waiting for the rest of our people to return from the island, I walk around the hotel to check out the local art. <span style=""> </span>It’s not cubist art, or even abstractionist art, but a form which I can only describe as fellationist?</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqcWDhMWm9VmOZEvhZVew7ZZw4DWV3R-cFts0WfXJeQ6Mp5vNymIUoqyAI-D49duzer4NJfHPcWXRvgoetHUsephcBY0xgxt0IKQrIIu1FjbTeLLT3wWVy_HpjtUN6htJLnMT1Hn1jtxU/s1600-h/CT_WC_15.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqcWDhMWm9VmOZEvhZVew7ZZw4DWV3R-cFts0WfXJeQ6Mp5vNymIUoqyAI-D49duzer4NJfHPcWXRvgoetHUsephcBY0xgxt0IKQrIIu1FjbTeLLT3wWVy_HpjtUN6htJLnMT1Hn1jtxU/s400/CT_WC_15.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858269859181570" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Next stop…</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></p></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir51KI4GoYeZG0kXSiHKrPP4bEZdjkqxOQ2Xm1uJmFRsPshXlEq_d3DadpMm4aYXVaGEGhsjJuW__VmTne6v4qZuzMzqOapfGu45mFqIyVZL6r0oN1i1Z8sAFamIJssJ5EnXhnQQjGCCg/s1600-h/CT_WC_16.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir51KI4GoYeZG0kXSiHKrPP4bEZdjkqxOQ2Xm1uJmFRsPshXlEq_d3DadpMm4aYXVaGEGhsjJuW__VmTne6v4qZuzMzqOapfGu45mFqIyVZL6r0oN1i1Z8sAFamIJssJ5EnXhnQQjGCCg/s400/CT_WC_16.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858264324648466" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>We were there when a ginormous Princess Cruise Lines ship came through, the Coral Princess. <span style=""> </span>It cost this cruise line $233k to pass through the canal, and the Panama Canal only accepts cash.<span style=""> </span>Note to self: build a canal.<br /><br /></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRt2IdwclyqVu0omLP4tvF150TqPtrsjvueneww3BjdM-8rVJ0IJD9zpI8kUo-Sqgm42BvtsqZ5LCXJ4rLrhZYnanbbnMlAIQFffhOOguRyQ8KGYMas1Y4sUcwpcrdbH2DrKbdJJZVIq8/s1600-h/CT_WC_17.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRt2IdwclyqVu0omLP4tvF150TqPtrsjvueneww3BjdM-8rVJ0IJD9zpI8kUo-Sqgm42BvtsqZ5LCXJ4rLrhZYnanbbnMlAIQFffhOOguRyQ8KGYMas1Y4sUcwpcrdbH2DrKbdJJZVIq8/s400/CT_WC_17.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858261078533298" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>This ship is lowered some 80 feet before it can continue through the canal to the lower sea level.<span style=""> </span>I haven’t seen a dropoff this steep since George Bush’s approval ratings came out.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVCpdJJt3wxhkxm3v-3tyisqE3bF6h5uCWZe4lgXMLZ1TMoFMD_YFzF8No8C7rmeJgLylskXHKm4W1eHp1QZ9mNQ-ORBdHABciZchovI0HiWbS7kaZL8Ws1uIAAMMFlDc8wzSF5ZoYcYY/s1600-h/CT_WC_18.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVCpdJJt3wxhkxm3v-3tyisqE3bF6h5uCWZe4lgXMLZ1TMoFMD_YFzF8No8C7rmeJgLylskXHKm4W1eHp1QZ9mNQ-ORBdHABciZchovI0HiWbS7kaZL8Ws1uIAAMMFlDc8wzSF5ZoYcYY/s400/CT_WC_18.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858256344552914" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>We leave the canal, head back to our ship and have dinner and drinks. <span style=""> </span>Guess what’s in our room after dinner?<span style=""> </span>Another towel critter.<span style=""> </span>And strangely posed I might add.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></p></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiijY3j7RayWnYObrTxuNR8jJzGR9UOSZZFLcdMOCbKrDm3V-E4Tj4YHzT7JcawyvssBcfqG-PDYwQTgdL9BAMnRpUnmj6_7Ko0Ll27maNPM9VValgc7zQCO3rRJJUjcrA_0yD7oYPJvxk/s1600-h/CT_WC_19.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiijY3j7RayWnYObrTxuNR8jJzGR9UOSZZFLcdMOCbKrDm3V-E4Tj4YHzT7JcawyvssBcfqG-PDYwQTgdL9BAMnRpUnmj6_7Ko0Ll27maNPM9VValgc7zQCO3rRJJUjcrA_0yD7oYPJvxk/s400/CT_WC_19.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366858252189082418" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span id="role_document" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="">Coming soon, days 5-8...</span></span></span>Chad Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08087089643877444185noreply@blogger.com2